Sufferer Newly Diagnosed Due To Husbands Attempted Suicide

[Pink Rox]

Hi all, I find it hard to write as I sit here thinking what to write, all that is happening is flashbacks. Sorry to waste your time. Nean

 

[Ruckster]

Nean welcome! You are not wasting my time. I am here listening.

 

[Pink Rox]

Ok Ill give it a go.

Husband showed no signs of attempting suicide. He went missing for 24 hours, searchers, helicopter and police couldn't find him even using the tracking system through his mobile phone. He ended up taking pills, drinking a bottle of straight vodka, then when he woke up in his car and realised it didn't work.

He then used our vacuum pipe he had taken from home and a plastic bag and attempted that way. Due to the change in fuel mixtures this was unsuccessful as well. He then rang me after he crashed his car.

I can't stand the sight of vacum cleaners, or the same car he had at the time. I can't work at this point, I have been admitted to mental health establishments twice, nightmares are nightly, etc.

I've seen a psychologist 5 times, he stated he can't help me with my triggers, and need psychiatrist, can't get into one till end of the month.

 

[Pink Rox]

Thank you very much Ruckster I appreciate your time.

 

[Ruckster]

Wow! Sorry you had those experiences. I don't get why the psychologist gave up on you. My psychologist has helped get my symptoms pretty much managed... Can you just call a different therapist? Nightmares can be horrible. How long ago did this happen and how long have you had symptoms, if you don't mind my asking. There is a lot of inFomation in the forum sections. Good job on getting started letting this out. Proceed slowly and when you feel ready. ((hugs))

Triggers... Tricky ... My therapist used dialectic behavior therapy for me...my trauma was different than yours, of course, and a good T should be able to help. Wishing you peasce.

 

[myvetswife]

I actually cut the rope my hubby tried to k*ll himself with. I can relate to your problems. I have flashbacks. He tried it at home in our garden 4 years ago.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Thank you for sharing, I know it is a big step. There is a lot of information and support here.

 

[Pink Rox]

The psychologist stated "I can't help you with the triggers" I was dumb founded, he then stated "You need a psychiatrist" they may help you, they can play with your medication and give you suggestions about the triggers.

Due to only one wage coming in and as I am not able to function at work at the moment (Child Protection, highly stressful and usually abusive job) and no health care card I have to wait till Sept to get in to a psychiatrist that will bulk bill first appointment then he will see if he can take me on.

The attempt happened on 25th October 2011, my symptoms are getting worse and they commenced around 3-4 months ago so it is still very fresh for me. When I got to the hospital 1 hour later his face was still black, vomit etc nobody had attempted to clean him up.

I had to drive his car home a 2 hour drive, with smashed window, and quarter panel, then I had to clean it out so I could get the car fixed and sold it within 1 week.

My main nightmare is he and others are chasing me with black faces, white bodies and throwing vacuum hoses at me, and someone is driving his car trying to run me over.

I have attempted twice to take my own life that is why I was in the mental facility because I am not dealing with the situation. It was hard when I was in the facility because they would vacuum, the nurses and everyone knew I can't deal with vacuum cleaners, and I requested that they tell me when the cleaner was due in so I could go outside in confined area, none of them did, I ended up in fetal position on the in the corner of the room.

I thank you all for welcoming me, and the support. I feel I can't talk to friends, so to find this site is my first stepping stone.

Thankyou

 

[Shellbell]

Hi Nean,

It takes courage to reach out and share. I am so sorry you are going through this. This forum will help you, there are lots of encouraging people who understand. It's very supportive.

I understand some of your pain, I hate vacuum cleaners and have to go out while my husband uses it. I also understand you not feeling you can talk to your friends. And the nightmares and the pain that makes you want to end it all.

There is lots of information on here to help.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm glad you found the forum, as you're very much welcome here.

I am sorry for all that you are dealing with right now. Please try to find another therapist. IMHO your therapist was passing the buck, saying that you just need drugs (meds) to "control" your triggers. Well, it doesn't work like that unless you're on a high dose that just numbs you out to everything. Nobody wants that, of course. It's all about learning how to handle your triggers. Perhaps medication would stabilize you enough so that you can get more out of therapy.

I wish you the best.

 

[Pink Rox]

I rang the CAT team today for assistance, I was informed when they initially came around they could organise some come for to come and talk to me, the guy on the phone said "We only come out in emergencies" I did not want to take my life but everything is on top of me today. I cant stand noise, anxious, palpitations. I am just scattered

Thank you for your replies, when I have a straight head I will get stuck into reading to get guidance.