Wanted To Share - My First EMDR Session

[linasmom]

Capt,

Why are we scaring you? "there's nothing to fear but fear itself"!


Pand,

You should definitely reconsider, with a more experienced therapist.



Update, if anyone is interested...

I saw therapist last week but we did not do a second EMDR session because he wanted to discuss how the EMDR is going to possibly effect me and he also shared his concerns with me seeing him only every other week. He feels that he needs to be monitoring me very closely during this time. Unfortunately, I can only afford the every other week session.

He discussed how very likely my symptoms are going to become worse, but that during this time he is also going to teach me some coping skills to deal with the onslaught of symptoms. His number one concern is that I get sleep. He informed me that I am to call him whenever I feel like I am out of control.

Lately, here are some side effects that I've been experiencing:

Increased nightmares that result in heavy sweating - to the point that I have to take off my pajamas because they are drenched in sweat.

Increased depression - feeling more hopeless than before.

Increased intrusive thoughts - thoughts that I've never once been "truly" happy in my life and I'm scared that I never will. Thoughts that any "good" feelings I've ever experienced were only manifestations of my overactive imagination. I call it the "fairy tale syndrome".

So far, nothing positive, but it's obviously extremely early in the game and I do not expect to see positive results for a while. I'm in it for the long run.

He did give me a cd to listen to called "Warming the Stone Child" by Clarrissa Pinkola Estes, who uses Jungian theory to tell heavily metaphorical myths about neglected/abused children.

Best,
Rachel

 

[captrn1]

I am afraid because I guess that I am going to reach a point of no return reliving traumas. I dont want to be a basket case and feel bad........yet I dont need any full blown attack either. I guess it is the unknown.....

 

[Acer]

He did give me a cd to listen to called "Warming the Stone Child" by Clarrissa Pinkola Estes, who uses Jungian theory to tell heavily metaphorical myths about neglected/abused children.

I have read a lot of stories from her book 'Women Who Run With the Wolves'. It is a pretty powerful book, and though it has been a long time since I read it (a decade or more) I can still recall a lot of the stories, which is really unusual for me. I remember at the time gaining a deeper understanding of who I was through that book.

Regarding your post counseling symptoms, it seems almost 'normal' that things would come up when directly facing and dealing with the traumas. I had my first EMDR session last week. My therapist is doing the prep work to get me ready for what is about to come. So we started with a mildly irritating event (stuck behind a slow moving vehicle on my way to therapy that morning). It was interesting how irritating and also calming the light bar was, depending on what she asked me to focus on but at the end I did notice a significant change in my anxiety level surrounding the slow vehicle.

That night I couldn't sleep, for no reason at all. My mind was racing about nothing really.

So, onward with the sessions. Next time (in a couple of days) we'll work on something slightly more annoying/stressful. I appreciate that she is working up to it slowly and helping me get the tools ready for when it gets really hard.

 

[cypher]

Geesh, as you were describing your experience from an early point all that came to me was one of the first scenes in Ghostbusters when Igor(?) has someone hooked up to a buzzer and/or something that shocks them. So, glad to read you wer'nt shocked. (I have no idea what EMDR is- no excuse though). There's my mind getting in the way again, stupid me.

Sounds like you have a good T and hope it goes well for you! Seems like an interesting cd (is it a book as well?) I'll have to look it up. Thanks for bringing more of an understanding of what EMDR is to me. Hang in there!
-Cypher

 

[linasmom]

Acer,

Sounds like your T is much like mine in that they both feel the need to start out slowly, which I'm grateful for. Keep us updated on how your sessions are progressing and I'll do the same, it will be interesting to compare notes.


I'm a little concerned because I've read here and elsewhere that EMDR should not be used on patients who have been diagnosed as having Complex PTSD, which I have. I haven't been able to find a concrete reason for this, anyone? My therapist is actually combining the EMDR with CBT, I wonder if this makes a difference when dealing with complex ptsd and using EMDR.

Best,
Rachel

 

[Acer]

Rachel, my T seems to be using a combination too. I think it would be hard not to. And on days where there is too much stress in my life outside of therapy, we don't do EMDR but CBT type stuff, though not exclusively so.

I do not have what she calls complex or acute PTSD. She is calling mine 'chronic' without intrusive memories but with all the other symptoms (my entire childhood was a series of traumatic events. My life just WAS traumatic and I haven't lost memories of the bad stuff, only of the good stuff. The memories are always just there, in the background). So I don't know about not using it for complex ptsd at all. Perhaps your T has different experiences with using it than you read. I'd ask.

 

[Lisa]

Hi linasmom...

... Im not sure WHY EMDR is considered generally not suitable for Complex PTSD... one thing I can say is that at the moment, therapists are not sure WHY EMDR even works... just that is does. There are theories, and research being carried out as to why at the moment though and have not read anything too recent on this lately so maybe something has been found since I last researched...

However, when EMDR has not only just simply not helped, but also WORSENED people's suffering in cases of complex PTSD... they recommend the treatment not to be used in those cases. It is one thing that something doesn't work... but could be considered negligent if a therapy, that is known to worsen people with Complex PTSD as opposed to just not work, is used on those with complex PTSD.
Therapists are advised not to take that risk, though there may be certain factors that are included in this that I don't know of so don't take this as me saying "Anyone with complex PTSD can't have EMDR", because I'm sure there's a little more to it than that.

Be interested to see if anyone else knows why it makes people worse, other than pure overload? that I assume is the case where several trauma's may exist?

I hope the rest of the EMDR sessions go well! Good luck!

 

[cherryblossom]

Be interested to see if anyone else knows why it makes people worse, other than pure overload? that I assume is the case where several trauma's may exist?

I don't have any answers as to why it would make someone's comlex PTSD work.

However, I would like to say that in my experience so far, EMDR has made my symptoms significantly worse. I have had 5 sessions out of a course of 8, and while I was told that it would be by no means easy, I didn't expect for things to get as bad as they have done. I would also add that I have not been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I am dealing with only one trauma. My therapist only does EMDR with me, and she isn't particularly concerned about any other issues that I am having. Maybe this is why I'm struggling so much, and perhaps as others have suggested, a combination therapy is necessary.

I am scared that my situation will continue to get worse, with no improvement, however my therapist has said she has never seen this happen. She has said that sometimes people don't respond and continue to feel "the same as before therapy began", but she claims never to have made anyone worse. However if you read around the subject, there seems to be evidence that people can be worse off after EMDR, especially in some cases of complex PTSD.

I came close to quitting EMDR this week (because of the difficulties I'm having with an increase in symptoms), but eventually I decided to continue. All this just makes me wonder whether I am doing the right thing or not.

 

[Acer]

I would also add that I have not been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I am dealing with only one trauma. My therapist only does EMDR with me, and she isn't particularly concerned about any other issues that I am having. Maybe this is why I'm struggling so much, and perhaps as others have suggested, a combination therapy is necessary.

I don't know how you feel about your therapist but this sounds kind of...cold to me.

My experience is this with my therapist. She is brand new to me only in the past 4 or 5 weeks. However, I come in and she says 'what would you like to talk about today'. Some days (mostly so far) we talk about my life right now which is in a huge state of disarray. If she thinks it is too stressful that day to work on EMDR, we simply don't but work on strategies to deal with and to understand what I am dealing with at the moment/lately.

If she was simply uninterested in dealing with anything else but EMDR and the specific trauma (in which there are too many to count) I don't think I would go back. It seems very dismissing to me, both of your feelings and of the complications trauma creates in a persons life.

 

[The Dig]

Hi All,

My Experience

I had emdr, a lot of it. :stupid:

treatment for five events over 4 years, I still have them, only, now they are clearer more detailed and scarier, essentially I was conned with talk of a new life, no one told me it wasn't the best thing for multi-trauma until after I,d had it, having now met 3 emdr therapists I liken them to salespersons, each with his/her tales of success....often slipping in a tale of horror with a client it worked for,no one mentioned the failure rates, only the successful are talked about.

I recently read a draft emdr protocol as part of a consultation process, that document says that 83% of the civilian ptsd group no longer met ptsd criteria, no mention of the 17% it didnt work for?, this is emdr figures for single trauma.

I may sound facetious but if a treatment is extra £$£$£$ in the therapist back pocket or purse which it is in the UK, would it affect your assessment?...

I only wish that they had been honest with me at the onset of treatment.

Hi All :hello:

 

[Claire]

Each to their own, everyone's experience and therapist is different. However the one I see isn't charging me more for EMDR sessions. He uses it in combination with other techniques. Its very hard work, I have got worse/better/worse/better again but all in all I have improved massively since we started it. I have remembered things and made links that I never knew existed. That in itself has and is very frightening but if then it's managed and dealt with you get better. Well that's what has happened with me anyway. Its made everything make much more sense.

 

[KBE]

I came close to quitting EMDR this week (because of the difficulties I'm having with an increase in symptoms), but eventually I decided to continue. All this just makes me wonder whether I am doing the right thing or not.

Of course, I couldn't possibly advise you as to the effectiveness of this treatment, however, if I'm understanding correctly, the purpose behind EMDR is to bring out repressed memories and allow you to process them now that you have some distance the actual event.

To my mind, this would dramatically increase your symptoms - like turning a burner from low to high, the mental blocks and shields you had in place to protect you from the trauma are coming down and you're getting them full force.

But I would think this is necessary for improvement; as long as the memories are buried, they're not being dealt with, and they're affecting you behind the scenes. Once drug out into the daylight, resolution is possible.

Idk why your doc doesn't want to discuss anything tho.

Disclaimer: I haven't undergone this procedure and didn't know what it was until today.