Wastinglight
Platinum Member
A few people expressed an interest in knowing how my EMDR treatment went.
Well, after 3 sessions of 'history taking' getting to know each other (we had not worked together prior to starting the EMDR process), and identifying some potential "target" memories, last week he said we were ready to try using the EMDR method to "enhance" an existing positive memory.
It didn't work very well. At first I thought it was because the pleasant memory I identified wasn't very strong, but my T said it didn't need to be - the important thing is that it made me feel calm. He also had me identify a phrase that I could use to evoke the calm feeling, but instead it ended up making me think of something really negative in my past. He said I needed to find a phrase that didn't have a negative connotation. I literally could not think of any phrase that was neutral, so he said I should have a bit more of a think about it before our next session.
The other problem I had was in accessing the negative feelings that come with a horrible memory, so we could try using the "calm" visualisation/phrase during the eye movements. I'm normally very good at reliving the pain and hurt I felt when I think of bad memories, but for some reason when I am in a therapy session, I am always very unemotional - clinical, even - when recounting my past experiences. My T says it is crucial that I am able to access the emotions, otherwise the treatment is unlikely to work.
Right now, I feel pretty disheartened. I'm not convinced that EMDR will work for me, as I'm not very good at a) relaxing and b) being 'present'. I'm also very good at making negative connections with just about anything (phrase, memory, you name it), so that's another obstacle. I'm not sure I want to continue with it, as it will end up getting pretty expensive because my subsidised sessions have almost run out for this year. Disappointing, but I will think on it some more before proceeding.
Hopefully that information is in some way useful to others who are considering whether EMDR is right for them.
Well, after 3 sessions of 'history taking' getting to know each other (we had not worked together prior to starting the EMDR process), and identifying some potential "target" memories, last week he said we were ready to try using the EMDR method to "enhance" an existing positive memory.
It didn't work very well. At first I thought it was because the pleasant memory I identified wasn't very strong, but my T said it didn't need to be - the important thing is that it made me feel calm. He also had me identify a phrase that I could use to evoke the calm feeling, but instead it ended up making me think of something really negative in my past. He said I needed to find a phrase that didn't have a negative connotation. I literally could not think of any phrase that was neutral, so he said I should have a bit more of a think about it before our next session.
The other problem I had was in accessing the negative feelings that come with a horrible memory, so we could try using the "calm" visualisation/phrase during the eye movements. I'm normally very good at reliving the pain and hurt I felt when I think of bad memories, but for some reason when I am in a therapy session, I am always very unemotional - clinical, even - when recounting my past experiences. My T says it is crucial that I am able to access the emotions, otherwise the treatment is unlikely to work.
Right now, I feel pretty disheartened. I'm not convinced that EMDR will work for me, as I'm not very good at a) relaxing and b) being 'present'. I'm also very good at making negative connections with just about anything (phrase, memory, you name it), so that's another obstacle. I'm not sure I want to continue with it, as it will end up getting pretty expensive because my subsidised sessions have almost run out for this year. Disappointing, but I will think on it some more before proceeding.
Hopefully that information is in some way useful to others who are considering whether EMDR is right for them.
