Panicking Because Of Neighbor

[p-no]

Well, I thought I didn't need to post here anymore till this morning. Went downstairs to get the mail and found a "letter" stuck to my mailbox. It reads:

If your "farting" (and that is an understatement) in your bedroom does not stop (there are toilets, you should have one as well!!! I will report this. It is noisy and bothers me!!! It would be best if you moved away!!! And stop concerning yourself/dealing/occupying yourself with me!!!

The other neighbor one floor up has known for weeks that I'm moving and we do chat every now and then for a few minutes. It's a nice neighbors' relationship; she just totally proudly and happily told me that she'll be a granny soon! :)

Well, this note certainly is from the woman downstairs. I managed to keep myself from going into another panic attack over her. Instead, I crushed boxes and finally got through to my anger about her!

Then I took a picture of the note and sent it to the landlord. Then I called the so-called "social and psychiatric service" that is the contact for dealing with people who seem to have mental health issues and cause concern in public. I told them almost the whole story that started over a year ago and the lady on the phone said that she was grateful that I reported the "patient" (quote). She had asked for the woman's name and address so I thought maybe they already knew her. She didn't so I asked why she called her "patient" and she said that from what I told her "she does not sound mentally healthy" (quote) and they would contact her to talk to her. The lady also said that she had an idea of what might be wrong with the neighbor and said: "I am sorry to say but I don't think that what we can do will stop this behaviour." The way she said this and the words she used made me feel very uneasy, simply because it seemed she wanted to help but legally couldn't take steps, at least not until "more" has happened.

If I were still living here from now, I'd be scared. I have always been cautious ever since the aggressive episode happened that had me start this thread, but now I am scared. The last sentence (sorry if that lacks in the translation) seems like complete paranoia and all I have been doing and do is pass her apartment's door when entering and leaving the building. Period. She seems to imagine things and be convinced of them and that scares me since I'm not doing anything.

Anyway. At the end of the phone call, the lade of the social and psychiatric service said that she wished me all the best for the move and she expressed relief over my move. I mentioned that a university student will move in next week... Well, obviously it is what it is.

By the way, the police never called back or anything. If something like this ever happens again, I will call the police the very first time something happens. That's what I've learned. I don't like being on someone's radar who behaves like this. She really scares me. I genuinely hope all will go well with the future tenant. She is quite young and a bit shy, but seems to have a strong mother. Still...

In my message to the landlord I wrote that I kindly asked them to wait if they want to take any steps re this, at least till Monday when there is a meeting in the apartment for handing over the keys to the new tenant etc.

Thanks for reading. I'm grateful I am going to move tomorrow.

 

[The Albatross]

I might be inclined, if I crossed paths with the university student to give them a heads up and what actions might be necessary to take to deal with the situation. Glad you're moving, sad though that the psychiatric service didn't think they could do anything to help. Obviously she's in need of some.

 

[nimkekaa]

I'm so sorry that you had to be harrassed like that. I'm glad you are moving and wish you all the best neighbours in your new place.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

PN I am so glad that you are moving away. I hope your new place is so much better with friendly people around you. I would be anxious with what you are dealing with too. i think you have handled this very well.
i had bad neighbors for years and it was very traumatic. It finally stopped after we started calling the police and turning them in for their loose dogs.

My heart goes out to you. I hate dealing with people like that. It is a scary thing to go through. We had a crazy neighbor in another place we lived in. I am afraid mentally ill people is on the rise. Just my opinion.

I am wishing you the very best in your new place. Big hugs.

 

[p-no]

sad though that the psychiatric service didn't think they could do anything to help

Thank you, Alba, for your concern. I think, maybe I said it wrong? They did say they would contact her and talk to her -- legally, that is all they can do. There are certain legal requirements to help someone against their will so to speak. And from how I took it the lady on the phone was very understanding, caring and helpful but also implying (this is how I took it) that whatever she thinks the neighbor's issue is, she thinks it's permanent and will therefore not change and their intervention will have no effect because of that.

It's one of these cases where something serious has to happen first, before anything can be done as long as she doesn't act too aggressively, i.e. physically hurt a person.

 

[Britt.f7]

We used to have loud ruckus parties next door to us with a bunch of drunk 20 somethings. It use to keep my older son up and he started sleeping in the living room. Thankfully they don't live there anymore.

We have a neighbor in the back of us. I live in a rural area and he is down a dirt road. I heard, when he was younger he used to break in to people's garages. That isn't what worried me. Our dogs were loose and I was looking for them in my mini van. I had to drive down the dirt road, when I got to his house, which is at the end of the road. He came out screaming at me "what are you doing here" while still in his underwear. I can't remember if he had a gun. All I know is he scared the beejesuz out of me. Seriously, what did he think I was doing? Try to avoid ever going back there. He also kicked my dog who went into his yard and he said attacked his dog. I knew she didn't attack anyone because she was a puppy and very, very docile. He also called the cops. My pup was scared for the rest of the day any time I moved my legs anywhere near her.

The dogs loose were because I had young kids at the time who would let them out without tying them up...and of course the dogs didn't listen to them. I wasn't trying to be an irresponsible pet owner.

I'm glad you are moving. Wishing you better neighbors!

 

[p-no]

I am afraid mentally ill people is on the rise.

If those mentally ill people (I consider myself one of them) do not take control of their illness, that is when I get scared.

 

[p-no]

Thank you everyone for your well-wishes! So far, it seems that all, agent, owner, owner's representative and neighbors seem very nice. Fingers crossed! :)

 

[Whitneys story]

Prime-No, I am so happy you are really on the move! Neighbors are one of my daily conflicts. May you find peace and safety in your new home.

You have done an incredible task of staying above this. It is pathetic but I would caution warning the new tenant. I just don't want you to be filed on for defamation. My neighbor would just love to cause an action to defend her lack of anger management. Our systems protect the criminals. JMHO Hugs, Whitney

 

[p-no]

Thank you, Whitney. :) I can't wait to go. I am planning to have a "loft" built into my bedroom. It's not just a loft bed but sort-of like another storey within the room, like a loft bed but bigger with more space than just for the bed, although you can not stand up or walk up there, but you can have a little book shelf, a lamp, a little carpet, etc. I hope that will work out. I feel so comfy a bit higher up...

Our systems protect the crminals.

I'm not so sure... I think that can happen but at the same time, at least here in Germany, it's also for the protection of the innocent, as in: you need two people to sign to have someone admitted to a psychiatrist ward, as far as I know, so if someone decides they wanted to get rid of their wife easily, they would need an accomplice, and not just anyone but someone who has a professional say. That is a good thing, although the example just mentioned surely is extreme. On the other hand, I would like a system that actually warrants your protection before something "worse" happens.

All I know is that ever since that first real aggressive episode of hers, I've been watching out for her ready to defend myself physically if need be. Not panicky, but alert. Sad to have to do that in and around your own home though. Hopefully not in future.

Wish the same for you, Whitney.

 

[Whitneys story]

I feel so comfy a bit higher up...

Oh that sounds great! I am in the US and we have a lot of old bungalow homes that I have done that too.
Until the housing market took a big dive I did Interior Design. Sounds so cozy! One client that I had did this and she was in her 40's. Make sure the stairs are good. Enjoy and Hugs, Whitney

I would like a system that actually warrants your protection before something "worse" happens.

I am glad your where you are. It is not our Police force that have the problem it is the Cities not allowing them to do there jobs! Just be alert and you will do well in your new surroundings. Hugs, Whitney

Fingers crossed!

Eyes, toes, arms, crossed as well!

 

[blackemerald1]

Hi PrimeNo, so glad you are on the move. I wonder if you could ask for the students number and give her yours. I would explain what has transpired with your neighbour, it cannot be an offense to tell her the truth and you have reported her to the Police, Landlord and Psychiatric service so it is not like a 'recent fabrication' and if the student gets into strife with the neighbour she might be grateful to be able to call you. Maybe she will not, she may have a 6 foot 4 boyfriend!

I think you have done the best you can for this lady in terms of welfare, and protected yourself at the same time. Keep the note for a just in case situation. It is uncanny how she has started on you when you are getting your act together to move. Obviously, someone you have told has passed the information on. It is disappointing the Police have not acted on your complaint. I would be dropping a letter to the Officer In Charge and do not be scared of telling him how you have been seriously frightened of this woman for so long and after you notified the Police. Be blunt about it, they are there to serve the Public and be the 'Peace Makers'.

Try not to let her derail your positive attitude, you have had a lot to contend with. You have found in yourself strength of character, common sense, good judgement and have learned to keep the anxiety at bay. A lot has come about because you are all these things and the neighbour has pushed you to your limits. So well done, keep looking forward to making your new home just the way you like it.