This Is Not My Life. Not My Truth.

[Abstract]

This cannot be my life. This can't be true. I must be making this all up. I am sure I am really fine. Really not sure what am even doing on this forum.
:confused:

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Abstract, it all feels quite surreal, doesn't it. :(

I'm not sure what was more difficult: putting a name to all these things that (with some relief in the obvious recognition) explained sooooo very much. Or having to accept what was considered always 'nothing' or put out of mind and memory could have been bad enough (or 'bad', in general) to cause it.

Big :hug:, ((((Abstract)))).

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((Abstract))) I understand that you are in alot of pain and anguish. I am feeling for you so much. I am sorry that you are going through this painful time. It is the pain and grief coming out of you. I am with you my friend. You are not alone. I think that you are a special person with alot of caring in your heart. Big hugs.

 

[MomOfTwo]

Abstract, I am sorry you are going through this... your feelings and senses are real even if it is hard to understand what they are. I think when you have been abused many people have no other choice but to deny or push down those feelings. You are not alone.

 

[Sues]

I can relate to what you said and how you said it. I feel for you too. Life is so messed up and I often feel that this cannot possibly be my life. As Momfotwo said, you are not alone. Hang in there!! :hug:

 

[maddog]

Weird. I found myself thinking the same thing today as I tried to just get through the day. This isn't really me, it can't be, it just can't be. My life wasn't meant to be like this, it can't have been.

It hurts.

 

[Abstract]

Thank you everyone. I really do appreciate you all. I feel like I have to be the only one to experience this and that there is something faulty with me so it helps if even part of it is understood.

Dear Abstract, it all feels quite surreal, .

It is absolutely surreal and more it is totally unreal and I literally don't believe it. Whilst at times knowing that it is true. Sometimes both simultaneously which is totally crazy making.

. It is the pain and grief coming out of you. I am with you my friend.

Gizmo,
Thank you for your heartfelt words and kindness. They are very valued. Is this what it is? It feels like it is the crazy coming out of me.:rolleyes: Hard to tell what is real and I have always valued my logic. You are a kind person Gizmo.

. your feelings and senses are real

Momoftwo,
Thank you this. It is something to hold onto or tether myself to. Thank you too for saying I am not alone. Sometimes I think I am engulfed in aloneness that nothing can get through and that I almost don't allow anything to get through.

I can relate to what you said and how you said it. I feel for you too.

Sues, thank you for sharing that will me. I feel so faulty and unable to tell what is the truth. It helps to know that others feel at least some of this.

Maddog,
I am sorry it hurts and I relate. Thank you for telling me you relate. It helps a lot. I spend most of each day in this type of mindframe. Its crazy making.

Group hug to everyone if that is OK. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

It sure is crazymaking. Try to enjoy whatever good comes your way. You are going to be alright. I just know you are. Big hugs.

 

[Rumors]

:-( glad I am not the only one who feels that way.

So sorry, Abstract. I think the holidays perpetuate feeling bad sometimes. They are hectic in the best scenario! Sending strength your way and hopes you find your way.

(())

 

[Abstract]

Thank Gizmo for the reassurance. It seems like it never stops. It has been going on for two years now and just varies in intensity. Before that I knew entirely that nothing ever affected me.

Rumors.
Thank you for sharing. I am still struggling to let in that others understand and that I am not just crazy. Thank you for your thoughts and hugs.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Two years is a very long time to be going through something hard. I remember when I first started therapy and I though three months and I will be on my merry way. I am trying to be as positive as I can be. It is very hard sometimes, when I get overwhelmned. It is a roller coaster ride that is for sure.

Do you miss the old you? I did not miss the old me. I wanted to find out who I really was. I am still discovering that one. My heart goes out to you. I wish you were not in so much pain.

 

[Tanishq]

Dear Abstract *big hug* to you. I am listening to you.