How Do I Remember Trauma?

[raj1977]

Hi Forum

I am currently seeing a psychologist for EMDR. I have been asked to try and recall memories that were traumatic for me. The problem is I can recall plenty of times when my parents were emotionally abusive towards me, but as I have become desensitised, I cannot now recall what is traumatic. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can recall my traumatic events so that the EMDR is more effective for me?

Thanks

 

[Abstract]

Hi Raj,

I am in a similar situation with some of my stuff but am afraid I have no answers. I wonder how one can deal with something if one doesn't really remember and can't identify it.

 

[Sues]

Me too. I'm having trouble remembering specific events. I have no idea what to do about it. I'll be checking this thread. Hopefully others will post some suggestions here!

 

[Shellbell]

EMDR is not a therapy designed to recall hidden, or suppressed traumatic memories. So, I would say that the emotionally abusive memories you are able to recall is a good starting place. Just stick to what you remember.

My T specializes in EMDR and trauma and has said we will not be digging for trauma I don't remember during the times where I have amnesia. Just the ones I do remember and the ones where I have no emotional response, due to dissociation at the time.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Shellbell. Start with what you do remember. If you dissociated during your traumatic memories you could start there too. Anything that you can remember. I wish you the best with your emdr. It changed my life. The memories that had been torturing and tormenting me do not haunt me anymore.

 

[Abstract]

we will not be digging for trauma I don't remember during the times where I have amnesia.

Thank you for the information Shellbell and Gizmo. Shellbell if you don't mind answering do you have any flashbacks to the stuff you don't remember? Look after yourself first and dont answer if it is triggering.

What worries me is that I feel like it is another can of worms that is just waiting to spill over. I think I don't remember way more than I do. Anything pre 16 years is not there.

 

[Shellbell]

Dear Abstract, I don't mind you asking at. All my nightmares and flashbacks are things I do remember, although I have been remembering added details to some of those abuse situations. I think the periods of amnesia is probably just more of the same abuse.

Our brains are very good at suppressing memories. It can be a good thing as I don't want or need to remember anymore, I remember enough to keep me in therapy a long time no doubt. But not remembering long periods of time is tricky, as you may know there was abuse, but can't recall the details, in order to process it.

 

[Abstract]

((((((Shellbell))))):inlove::hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My brain has protected me too. I have had enough memories to process my traumas. I have grieved so much. I have also healed so much over the years. I am not as bad as I was when i first got diagnosed. I was a complete basket case back then. I lost alot of weight due to stress over the remembering. I do not get flashbacks anymore. I rarely get emotional flashbacks. I am glad I do not remember everything. I consider it a blessing but there was a period at the beginning of my therapy process where i wanted all of my memories back. It is natures way to keep me safe and sane. I hope this helps.

 

[Abstract]

The other thing that drives me crazy is that I tend to support mainstream psychology and the most supported approach is that repression is not something that is possible for anything traumatic. I have serious self doubt issues as it is and tend to go with fact and outside information rather than my own or my own feelings. It is clear that you have blocked those 2 years and that they would be traumatic and I have come across many others who have documented cases of traumatic experiences who don't have the information available. And yet it is one more thing I use to to confuse and distress myself.

I don't feel I should discuss those flashbacks as I fear I will give myself false memories. I therefore have barely acknowledged them to myself even. There is outside confirmation that they do relate to things that did happen, but still. But there is other stuff I do remember and do have flashbacks to so that has to be what I look at.

 

[Abstract]

Thanks Gizmo. It does. I just think I am a fabricating attention seeker or something. :rolleyes::oops:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I understand your fear of false memories. I think a therapist implanted false memories in me. I suffered and struggled with them for years. But I have made my peace that they were false memories. I was in the hands of a bad therapist who suggested many things to me and in my vulnerable and trusting state I believed and manufactured false memories.

So I only go on the ones I do remember. It took a huge chunk out of my life. All of those wasted years and grief over nothing. The mind is so powerful in what it can do.

I think as long as you are aware of the possibility of false memories it will not happen to you. It is when we are unwaware that we are in danger. just my two cents.