Been tweaking on my thinking this morning. I have been doing a countdown in my head to the day I enter the hospital. Only this countdown has been something like checking off days before I go to prison, or in some cases to my execution. WRONG! Definitely "stikin thinkin".
So time to look at it from a new perspective and a much healthier perspective. See, next Wednesday, December 19th, I will receive my new stem cells. Not that the transplant is a big deal, it is basically an IV bag and the new cells go in. But from a medical standpoint this is called day zero, as it is a total new beginning for your immune system. A new birth of sorts.
So today is day 9 and I am counting down to day 0, when I get my cells back and start to build cancer free bone marrow and a healthy immune system. Instead of dreading the procedure and the chemo and steroids that proceed it, I am going to focus on day zero and what that means. It means life for me, bottom line.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself for having to go through this, I need to count myself as blessed. First of all because I am able to do this procedure and secondly, because this is a second chance that not many get. I need to not only look at this as a second chance for health reasons, but it is also a second chance at life. Now how I approach it and what I do with it is entirely up to me.
As I go through this, I will journal as it benefits me and I hope that it benefits those that read it, whether it is battling PTSD, cancer or any other chronic illness. Yes, there will be ups and downs, but I am bookmarking this page for myself to remind myself why I am doing this and what it really means.
I really appreciate the support, encouragement, positive thoughts and prayers. I am going to need them as I do this and for all that contribute, I want you to know that you make a positive difference. I only hope to return it when you need it or pay it forward.
