Brainos, brain explosions & emotional outbursts

[AS1975]

I have long suffered semi-silently from the ever present "braino"/"Brain explosion" or what therapists call them, "Violent Emotional Outbursts". Personally I'd query the emotional part of it, there is no real emotion for me, I reach the point where I can no longer be bothered keeping the violence inside and I simply let it out.

The trouble is, after a while, I'd be in situations that other, "normal" people would regard as being a world away from the threat level I perceive it to be. Stupid shit, like a bunch of people arguing with me over whether they could use a bin, or why they should be prevented from doing so by me. I mean, there actions aren't rational, but when they split up and one or more walks behind me, I feel all those little hairs stand up and I'm in survival (with me that means destroy rapidly before they can harm me) mode. Yet when I try and get across to people that they are pushing boundaries, I'm the arsehole?

Anyone else been in this type of situation, yes, I escalate from nothing to full-extent without any warning usually, this is a learned survival instinct (thrice blessed is he who hits first), one I'm uncomfortable unlearning (it has saved my arse too many times). But how do I deal with irrational people? I cannot work it out and it does my head in.

 

[Britt.f7]

I very rarely freak out, but I will tell you I have had outbursts where my children and husband are left thinking who in the world is that woman?

As far as irrational people. My sister is often that person that sets me off. I am trying to learn you can not out argue a person who is irrational. I'm sure she thinks I am the one who is irrational. It goes around and around in my head and makes me angry that I can't always(usually) shut it out.

With other people, I am less likely to argue. However, I have noticed that I do come out with a very firm take no prisoners type of voice. Calm but definitely one that says do not mess with me. I don't always recognize what I say unless people tell me afterwards. A friend once said I have such a polite way of saying "f - you" that people are never quite sure I said that to them or have a nice day. I suppose that is a good thing. Avoids a lot of major confrontations.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Anger isn't one of my stronger suits.

 

[Abstract]

like a bunch of people arguing with me over whether they could use a bin, or why they should be prevented from doing so by me

Hi As,
I would just want to know first of all if you own the bin.

 

[AS1975]

Yeah, my employer owned the bin which was required for their business waste. It was kept locked, but had just been emptied and I'd gone out to lock it when the argument started. It was clearly marked as a private, industrial bin, it was less than a yard away from an also clearly marked Alice Springs City Council bin. Like I say, I need a red ribbon on my tail to tell the world not to push shit to absurd conclusions.