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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I'm not sure the words. I awoke during the night yelling "I've got it. I've got it" several times. I not sure what the dream was, but it stopped as I yelled. LOL. I am going to let my "aide" go today. She is totally useless. Plus, even though I'm not paying for it, she was here for ten minutes and charged for 45 minuets. Not acceptable in my book. So, I guess, elated, and upset all at the same time might describe how I am feeling today.
 
safenow: :D That's just so funny!! I SO wonder what it was you had figured out!! (and can relate to the feeling of waking up sometimes and knowing the "answer", but not being able to remember what it was.. or even the question!)

Lionheart: You inspired me with your words!! Now I feel like I'm up for that too! The PTSD is not going to control me today!

I still feel a lot of anger, but it feels healthy, even though I have trouble figuring out what to do with all these explosive feelings! But I will try and do some more yoga.. (Relized that hitting on things is not my thing, so to speak.. it's more like a real trigger for me.. Since I did fought so much at times, but always were defeated.. it wakes all those memories up, when I do boxing for example or hit my pillows or stuff like that... just start the flashes of and make me loose control and dissociate.)

Despite all the memories in my body still flashing(though less intrusive right now): memories of being held down, kicked at, hit, spit at, seeing people and animals I love being hurt, being screamed at, feeling fear, anger, shame, helplessness, being worthless and totally powerless and confused I do feel as if there is more light in me this day than darkness! - And that makes me feel happy somehow!

((((hugs all around))))
 
I feel warm, relaxed, nourished, nurtured, free from pain, full, lucky, restful, glad that I treated myself to a much needed massage, satisfied with the way the day turned out, glad to be home with my kitteh.:)[DOUBLEPOST=1360149201][/DOUBLEPOST]
I feel anxious. It's deep in my stomach and in my solar plexus. I have no idea what I'm feeling anxious about. It's just there. Ugh.
I used to get that anxiety in the same place and could never work out what caused it. I still don't know. It's a mystery. And I know other people who also get it there, and don't know what it's about either...
 
I used to get that anxiety in the same place and could never work out what caused it. I still don't know.
It's the solar plexus chakra, the third out of our seven chakras, which is where all our self-worth, self-confidence and self-esteem is stored. It's the chakra that helps us feel in control of our lives, and when we don't feel in control, that chakra goes into all kinds of overdrive, or underdrive, and makes us feel worthless, helpless, out of control, desperate, useless, despairing, unable to control our emotions and our thoughts. It resonates throughout our entire body.
 
Yes, that makes a lot of sense shoulderblades.

The times I remember having this anxiety were when I was not very well emotionally, or mentally, and living with other unwell people who were not very stable. Makes sense. I did feel like I didn't have my life under control at the time, and was sinking deeper every day.

My life has taken many wrong turns and I have experienced a lot of instability in the past,with housing and work...though that is mainly to do with root chakra stuff. I think though, that when you don't have a stable home, or stable, happy people around you, it is very hard to feel like you have control in any other areas as well.

So tricky to keep all the centres balanced all the time. Inevitably some of them will become out of balance, and it will show up in our external reality.
 
I'm trying to stay balanced and calm but I'm feeling tired and my mind is a jumble.

I'm feeling like a bid/lot in an auction with my solicitor trying to get a good price for me. Even my solicitor apologised and said the whole process was tacky. I so wish it was all finalised.

I feel I need some time so I will take a break from the forum. Tomorrow is a busy day so I need to pace myself.
 
Right now? Anxious. And frustrated. I HATE.. with a burning passion.. how much PTSD lies to me and how easily I believe it. I hate triggers. I hate overreacting. I hate PTSD. I hate that people detonated a bomb of abuse and shame and many other issues on me and then just walked away and left me to deal with the effects for the rest of my life. I don't normally wish bad things on people but, right now all I can say is.. KARMA.
 

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