Poll Does Your Family Neglect You Emotionally?

[Changing4Best]

Oh it was not my mother who did the beating it was my stepfather... I use to fight him back all the time but I could only do so much to a fully grown man. I did make sure I spread the blood far and wide for her to clean up though. She hated her show home to get dirty...

Good for you! You did what you could.

I dreamed of cutting my wrists and getting blood all over my parents' show home too, but I never did. I would fantasize about it though! My abuse was mostly verbal and then emotional neglect as well as both parents worked, so I had very little time with my mother. My father was home when I'd get home from school, but basically he'd ignore me while he read the paper.

 

[Philippa]

I dreamed of smashing all my fathers 'delicates' in his show room. The giant mirror with the gold frame, the paintings, the flucatti rug, all the expensive things he seemed to adore more than his own family.

 

[Changing4Best]

I know. HOW could they value THINGS more than us? I still cannot understand it.

I was not allowed to sit on their furniture, nor walk on the lawn, lest I spoil something and their party guests might notice it. Even at their memorial service at church, folks got up to praise them for the great parties they'd had! It was all to impress those people, not the family, never us. I wasn't allowed to buy fancy things or cloths, only they and only for their guests.

I remember the mornings after their parties I'd sit around and eat the party food for breakfast. Meanwhile they were sleeping it off, whatever they'd drank the night before and eaten at the party. They always slept late on weekends, so from age 8 on I started getting my own breakfasts. Then mom would get up and cook a brunch later on.

The first time I tried to cook an egg, I burned it. I was so hungry I ate it anyway and got sick. They never even knew. Eventually I learned how to cook an egg, trial and error and from having watched my mother cook them.

 

[Philippa]

It's a form of insanity I'm sure. To love things more than the people you call family...that's twisted.

 

[Changing4Best]

Agreed. I have described my upbringing as that I was brought up in a museum. It was LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH!

My niece is carrying on the tradition well. She inherited the family home, the one that had all the parties in it that my parents gave. Over the Thanksfiving Weekend she held 3 parties. Over the Christmas holidays, I think 3 again... family history repeats itself just as world history does! I pity any kids she may ever have, but right now she has no plans for any. In a way, since she is a school teacher, she has some 30 kids! AND I PITY THEM, the poor dears.

Anyway, I guess my sister taught her just what we were taught as kids, and why would she had taught her any differently? She and I BOTH resented the way we were treated, and yet it appears that she has passed on a family tradition. I guess...

 

[Philippa]

30 KIDS!!

I'm guessing it's a very Catholic family?:D

 

[cherryblossom]

30 KIDS!!

My interpretation is that she doesn't actually have 30 kids, but as a school teacher looks after 30 kids during work time.

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, being a school teacher entails looking after 30 kids each day, which would drive me batty, so I'm very glad it is she doing that and not I. I have trouble enough dealing with ONE noisy brat upstairs.

But back to the subject at hand, since she the control freak could not get me to do what she wants me to do (moving into a nursing hme) I believe she'll be out of my hair for awhile. She always has to have everything her way; I pity her hubby!

 

[Philippa]

My interpretation is that she doesn't actually have 30 kids, but as a school teacher looks after 30 kids during work time.

Ah...ok. That makes more sense.:D

I was reminded of women back at the turn of the 20th century who would actually have 20+ kids to help them on the farm while the man was away in the city for half the year. I've seen photos of these poor women, and they looked like they were begging to be shot and put out of their misery. 20+ years of being pregnant might do that to a person.

 

[Philippa]

Yes, being a school teacher entails looking after 30 kids each day, which would drive me batty, so I'm very glad it is she doing that and not I. I have trouble enough dealing with ONE noisy brat upstairs.

I can't even handle the two boys that live in the main house where I live out the back in a bungalow. I have to put on loud music whenever one of them starts yelling and being obnoxious, (like now). Thank god I don't have kids.

 

[saffy]

My mother was a school teacher believe it or not. But realising it now it was for the control and ego not because she wanted to teach others. It was all about the kudos. She only taught up to 7 year old too as these were easier to manipulate and control.

She would sit there and scoff that the mothers of her pupils were all poor and couldn't string two sentences together and boasted that they would all buy her end of year presents because she thought it was proof she was such a good caring teacher. That made me laugh because she would then throw them away or give them to the charity shop without opening. She didn't want that crap anyway, she said.

A lot of the time I found presents I bought her in the chuck pile. When I asked her why she was throwing it, she would say 'oh I don't want that old crap'. She had forgotten I had given it too her. So that says a lot about this women doesn't it really.

Saffy :)

 

[Philippa]

I think there are a LOT of people who do jobs like this for this reason, and not because they actually care about the kids, the people who have disabilities etc. They are predators basically.