When Other People Argue

[BlackbirdSinging]

I realized recently that when other people are arguing around me it triggers my anxiety. I hadn't really paid attention before.. to how much quickly and how much it triggers my anxiety.

The other day I was in a room with three other people. One of the people became angry about something. A second person started asking questions. Before I knew it the two people were getting tense and I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I just knew it was going to become a big fight. The first person raised their voice and then pounded their fist on a table. Their voices raised even more.

While all this was going on I kept asking them to stop. I pulled my feet into my chair put my hands over my ears and closed my eyes. It was starting to overwhelm me. I wasn't afraid. I was anxious. I decided I needed to leave the room. I walked out of the room and a minute later the first person passed me by on their way out of the room. I went back into the room since the arguing was over. But by this time I was shaking. Not terribly but I was shaking. So my question is this.. does it trigger your anxiety when people argue around you? How do you deal with it?

 

[Bill Dickerson]

Deep breaths...For me I'm the one who has had to in past deal with all of out of control people or domestics. Feels like a lack of control.....I am suppose to be doing something about it.

It reminds me of the adrenaline pumping before having to go hands on with someone except there isn't anywhere for the adrenaline to go.

I think recognizing the signs early helps. I can take a step back and do some self talk, deep breaths, get a little sugar for the blood.

For me I get short of breath, my hands shake, and I get that enormance 200 lb. butterfly in the stomach. The earlier I feel it the easier it is for me to deal with. If I wait too long it takes on a life of it's own.

 

[shell]

I find someone talking loudly triggering, I start getting anxious, and get scared and angry. Arguing or someone being told off, I become so anxious I have to escape, it is even worse when the anger is directed at me.

I try and tell myself I am safe now, it's okay for people to express anger, anger doesn't mean violence.

 

[piratelady]

I too struggle to be around others who are arguing. I try to avoid it. If I have to be around it, I just try very hard to stay out of the argument. I think, for me, it comes down to my fear of confrontation.

When I am able to get away from the situation, I try to get some alone time as soon as possible. I find time with myself, where it is quiet helps me to calm back down. I just have to have quiet though.

 

[safenow]

If the high level of anger is present, I have to either leave the area or breathe and do some inside grounding to remind myself where I am and who I am with. It's when someone who has been arguing gets very quiet, and talks in a low tone of voice that I have to either leave the room or I yell at them to stop. If I see a man in an argument who's forehead veins start to throb, I am triggered and have to work really hard on grounding or leave immediately.

 

[Finding Shawna]

when other people are arguing around me it triggers my anxiety

This has always been a trigger for me. It happened this weekend. My friend and her husband started arguing. I walked about 4 miles in New Orleans ( it's Mardi Gras there right now) alone before I found a cab. I just instanly panicked and had to leave.

 

[WillyKat]

Same here. Always. And the thing is, I try to connect the dots to my abuse and figure out why other people arguing would be a trigger for me and I just can't figure it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I cannot stand arguing. I get a knot in the pitt of my stomach. If I was around people who were arguing I would get up and leave. I hate it when my husband and I argue, it is worse because he has dementia. I like peaceful stability.

Too much violence in my life. For me this is a huge trigger. I cannot stand it. I do all I can to remain calm because staying calm produces better results.

I used to lose my temper. I took a anger management class. It helped me on my end. My husband and I used to have terrible fights so it is always a trigger to fear for me.

It is hard when that happens. Thankfully it does not always happen. I am wishing you the best on this one. I feel for you.

 

[71nothing]

I tend to just shut down when others are arguing. I shut off my hearing and my awareness of what's happening is very low. I don't do it intentionally. It just happens. Arguing (or any feeling if discontent) is very aversive to me.

 

[Chincho]

I get very anxious when other people argue. Even if it's on a TV show or a movie. If it lasts too long I start to feel afraid and like a 5 year-old (that was the age or my abuse).

 

[Bill Dickerson]

I've had some anxiety lately while doing my hobby of curbing. Security guy jumped out and yelled at me. Normally I just ignore folks but I was afraid he was going to put his hands on me. I'm not afraid of him I'm afraid of me.

Training takes over and bad things happen. This was months ago and I still get upset for no reason when I'm in that area. I refuse to be buffaloed. This happened again Monday night but I was able to feel it coming and dealt with it. I have to keep my ego in check and remember I don't have to control every situation. Letting it roll off my back is a new experience and it takes work.

 

[BlackbirdSinging]

It kinda floors me how quickly my body will tense up when there is some kind of hostility or arguing. It's weird because it's not that it scares me. It just definitely makes me anxious. I feel like I want to cover my ears and just yell at everyone to shut up. It's like my tolerance level for anything remotely stressful is so low. Especially now. But I usually have to leave the room or use headphones or something because it gets just too overstimulating or overwhelming or something.