When Other People Argue

[AzureMind]

I realized recently that when other people are arguing around me it triggers my anxiety. I hadn't really paid attention before.. to how much quickly and how much it triggers my anxiety.

BlackbirdRising, I completely read you on this. I grew up with my parents constantly arguing, fighting, yelling to the top of their lungs, breaking things, hurting each other, and I had to watch it, and participate in it when it got too hectic. What I have to say is that, erratic actions of ANY kind triggers an 'unsettling' feeling in me, which is probably anxiety. I feel tension in a room, in a house and it makes me frustrated enough to punch someone repeatedly in the face to make it stop, or walk away indifferently.

The best thing to do IMO, is to eliminate the anxieties triggered by stressful stimuli, and people around you that you co-habitate with; in the work environment, you should excuse yourself if at all possible, (maybe going to the bathroom for a quick breather) and if this happens in your home, either move out and find a roommate to help, or suffer.

Growing up in that madness has a way of programming you specifically for anxious behaviors, and to look out for any threats, or signs of anything offsetting your emotional load. I'm in the process of finding a stable, steady, job, and saving enough money (hopefully this will keep me out of the house when the bickering of my 'older kids' starts and only come home to sleep). I need to establish some personal sense of security that they can't give. I urge you to do the same! :)

 

[InHell11]

Arguing makes me very anxious as well, even if I am perfectly aware it's just an argument and that it happens sometimes I still get the physical reactions. Living at my moms house, I end up having to listen to her and her boyfriend argue and there is usually nowhere to go except leaving the house, which is hard in the winter due to the weather much of the time.

Last time it happened I got worried my moms boyfriend was going to over-do it and get violent. So I made sure I had a hammer close by just in case I needed to defend myself(doesn't make sense now but at the time I felt it was vital I had a way of defending myself). I was also afraid the cops would come and trigger me further since it was early in the morning and I'm sure the neighbors could hear them yelling and file a noise complaint or something.

 

[miamo2011]

I think sometimes half the battle is realizing why I do react that way.

This is spot-on Bill. For me, it's more like 80% of the battle.

 

[BoogieOnGal]

When other people argue it freaks me out! I went to a few Phish shows last summer and one of the nights a couple was arguing the whole way through the show...even with the loud music all I could do was focus on their argument I was not ease dropping but the fact that they were fighting put me in a trance..my back and shoulders ached so bad.