Hi, I am Rachel.
I can remember as far back to the age of 5 when my abuse began. I always tried to run away from it. Instead I ran right into the arms of Domestic Violence. To run from that joined the Army and lost custody of the two children I had with that man.
I am struggling with my PTSD and getting the symptoms to subside just a little. As a child and teen I never fought but ran. Now all I do is fight. I just want to get rid of the nightmares, get custody of my children back, and live peacefully in my gated community. I am independent but so much that I have no friends.
As for family, what is that. My family was the first to abuse me. Never had a father and the men in and out of my drug addicted mother always sexually abuse and emotional abused me and my sibling. My mother emotional, physically, and emotional abused us. I am in therapy and on meds and have been for years but I think never stopping the fight for custody of my kids keeps the symptoms going in over drive.
My children tell me of the neglect, emotional, and physical abuse their father puts them threw. I joined the Army so the courts couldn't say I could not provide for them. Instead was told I abandoned them to play soldier and fight an endless war. Now I am out of the Army due to PTSD, TBI, and Bipolar II.
I am a mess and the only thing I feel I don't screw up or know how to do perfectly is be a mother to my children. I have 4 sons. The oldest and youngest are mine, but my two middle sons are the ones I have been fighting for since March 26, 2006. I have no one to talk to on a regular basis and hope this forum helps me get the anger and frustration out as much as possible.
I can remember as far back to the age of 5 when my abuse began. I always tried to run away from it. Instead I ran right into the arms of Domestic Violence. To run from that joined the Army and lost custody of the two children I had with that man.
I am struggling with my PTSD and getting the symptoms to subside just a little. As a child and teen I never fought but ran. Now all I do is fight. I just want to get rid of the nightmares, get custody of my children back, and live peacefully in my gated community. I am independent but so much that I have no friends.
As for family, what is that. My family was the first to abuse me. Never had a father and the men in and out of my drug addicted mother always sexually abuse and emotional abused me and my sibling. My mother emotional, physically, and emotional abused us. I am in therapy and on meds and have been for years but I think never stopping the fight for custody of my kids keeps the symptoms going in over drive.
My children tell me of the neglect, emotional, and physical abuse their father puts them threw. I joined the Army so the courts couldn't say I could not provide for them. Instead was told I abandoned them to play soldier and fight an endless war. Now I am out of the Army due to PTSD, TBI, and Bipolar II.
I am a mess and the only thing I feel I don't screw up or know how to do perfectly is be a mother to my children. I have 4 sons. The oldest and youngest are mine, but my two middle sons are the ones I have been fighting for since March 26, 2006. I have no one to talk to on a regular basis and hope this forum helps me get the anger and frustration out as much as possible.
