My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[safenow]

Gizmo, I hope you gave a statement to the police regarding your fear of what might happen if he gets any of those guns back. Cowards like him do stupid stuff, when they can do it from a distance. Up close, he's scared. But from a distance, in his mind, it's hard to prove it was him.

Not meaning to scare you, just stating a fact. Been there myself.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so much for bringing this fact up safenow. I am afraid of this guy if he snaps. I have been doing ok so far, but he is a stranger to me and I really do not know this guy. He is a stranger to me. I rarely saw him. Hugs to you for being so thoughtful.

 

[nursenurse]

I think both you and your daughter need to give those statements. Was he ex-military or anything like that? Just wondering why he would need to possess them. Although we have gun crimes here in Canada, I believe that our own gun laws diminish them. Weasels shouldn't be allowed to have them, plain and simple. Can't believe he would try to get the judge to believe that she hit herself. I guess he thinks everyone just fell off a turnip truck.

It's sounding pretty positive job-wise for your daughter, that would be so wonderful for her. Hope the rest of your prayers are answered :)

 

[anni]

Well yes, that is a very good point, ' Better to be Safe ', etc. I've seen the Criminal Justice System pull some idiotic moves ( haven't we all, Holy Heck, first thing I'm going to do when I get to Heaven, if he's still there and hasn't fallen off a cloud somewhere, is find him and ask for my money back- the money the CJS never made the zillionaire pay for his baby until it was toooo late. Bet even God makes him pay-up. ) Somewhere in Gizmo's posts I'm smelling a judge/police department/prosecutor, SOMEONE who has their foot on this slimeball's neck, or one of those choke leashes like you use to train dawgs. I just don't think he has a prayer of getting those guns back without the firing pins removed and cement poured down the barrels. I do kind of love it when these bozos hit the first person in their lives they can't bully, don't you? These snits he's throwing really are just 2 year old tantrums.

Gizmo, NO WAY, he did NOT tell the judge your daughter hit herself!?!? That is priceless. I realize you and she are far too close to the action to find that at all humorous, I do promise in a few years you'll fall off your chair one day thinking about how many neuron synapses someone has to be lacking in order to say that to a JUDGE with a straight face. I'm awfully, awfully glad none of your grandchildren are from that breeding stock, you'd be waiting for the short bus with them for the rest of your life. I had horrible things occur, I suppose one day should do that diary thing but have to say once in awhile I'll think about some d*m thing which occured and from 20 years distance will fall off my chair, he looks SO ridiculous. OK, here's one which TERRIFIED me at the time but boy, think about this! Mine showed up for court wearing his Special Forces army fatigues, Green-Beret and all, and not only that barged into that closed-door session where the judge and the 2 lawyers first discuss matters before court begins. He said they were all 'talking about him' and he wasn't going to put UP with it any more. Ohhhh my gosh, I think about that NOW and just cry laughing, I promise. Who DOES that? A self-important jerk, that's who.

Please know I'm not at ALL trying to get you to not take the danger part seriously, of course he's an idiot and should be treated like a rabid, over-grown possum with opposable thumbs, God's mistake on THAT. It's just that there will be a tomorrow, especially given your hyper-vigilence ( sometimes we have that for a reason ) and planning. I wish so, so much I could have had some little spy-glass where I could have seen into the future way-back-when, although I was just SO terrified I'm not sure I would have believed any of it. Your head goes off into awful places as a result of the fear. Dad took away MY gun, or I do think I'd be in jail now, seriously. I was so off-the-wall, constantly living in a state of terror that at one point I'd convinced myself he had to GO, and meant it. You and your daughter are disallowing yourselves that kind of lack of balance by preventing his growth of power in the first place. It's extremely empowering to read, would like to say Thank You yet again.

Hee. You know why I got a cat to begin with? So I could explain any of the creaks and bumps in my house at night, otherwise it was HIM hiding in the attic, coming to get me. Even after he was dead, I got TWO cats, and a massive dog no lie. I wouldn't believe he was dead, in point of fact, thought it was all a big ruse to flush me out into the open, I'd come look at the grave and POW, he'd have me, even after his little visit in the attic. How dead do I need him to be, geesh! I'm pretty sure you've proactively prevented yourselves from THIS kind of extreme, is the thing, by taking all the steps you have. I'm not saying you're all going to be 'poof', just fine, this is awful for you, of course the nervous system in going to let you know about it, this forum is proof of THAT. I'm saying that because you guys have him kind of where he needs to be, maybe the future damage will be much, much less for you.

Thanks an awful lot for being inclusive on the sistah thing, back at you. I kind of take that sort of thing seriously, so it got to me. WAY too long to get into, just MUCH, much thanks, huge hugs, XXOO.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

nursenurse, he is in the army reserves and has not yet been deployed. That makes him a very scary guy to me.

I will make a statement today. Her best friend will make a statement. She is trying to get her therapist to make a statement and her thirteen year old daughter will be a witness saying they were fighting that night. He said they were not fighting. He is trying to destroy her credability. He will be a liar and a con artist.

It is hard to wait so long for the next court date. I sure hope it goes better for her. I hope it only gets worse for him. Judges have seen it all and I am glad he made a postponement. Her husband is staying away and leaving her alone.

He broke her spirit and beat her down and had her convinced no one would believe her or understand her. He is a real peace of work. I just hate that he is such a coward that he would beat on her while she was sleeping.

His lies really get to me. I cannot think he is afraid of her now that she fought back in a serious I mean buisiness manner. He had real consequences to his actions.

This is going to be a very ugly divorce. I only hope and pray that the DA gets him and convicts him of battery which is a felony. Whether he admits it or not I hope the people in the court are used to dealing with liars.

Good news, she has an appointment on Tuesday to fill out some paperwork. They will do a background check on her and that should be nothing. She is so excited, hopeful, and happy about getting this judge. I sure hope and pray that she will get the job.

We will work out the details to take care of the girls. I am so thankful that the girls are not his and he has no rights to them. I so long for real justice in this ugly situation. Hugs to you and thank you so much for your continued support. It means so much to me. It really keeps me going.

anni, sister friend, thank you so much for your continued support. It comforts me so. It keeps me going.

I hope he does not wear his uniform to court. I believe he is going to fight very dirty and use everything he has. My reply does not have access to your post so I am trying to go by memory.

Your posts comfort and encourage me so much. You give me hope that there will be a end to all of this.

I am going over to my daughters house today and write checks for her to float her along. She will help me to type out a statement for the judge to see. I cannot tell my husband because he does not want me to get involved. Everytime I go over to her house he asks me if her husband drove by.

He is benefitting from being closer to his daughter. The change is like night and day now that she does not have to walk on eggshells anymore. It has been good for them.

If it was not for the restraining order he would be harrassing her greatly. I am so grateful for the restraining order and that he is respecting it.

She threw all she could at him and he lost power and control over her.

He is a weasel and will try to worm his way out of this.

I am sure he knows that she has an attorney right now. The divorce papers are in the beginning of the process. It takes six months for it to be finaliezed. Many hugs of gratitude to you anni.

 

[Nicolette]

Gizmo

What you and your daughter are going through is not pretty. I've been there myself and feel compelled to remind you that the justice system is not fair and court is only as good as your argument and the facts you can present. I have seen a sentence in a letter taken and used completely out of context to win money and I have been in your daughters shoes, albeit not so bad, but my ex got off on the double jeopardy rule even though the judge said he was guilty.

I thought she would get the permanent restraining order today.

I am not sure of the laws where you are but here in Australia they would not give a permanent restraining order citing that things and people change over time so please don't get your heart set on a complete 'fix' for this as I fear you are setting yourself up for more disappointment.

Court is dirty and anything that can be dragged out against your daughter will be. What is important here is safety and sometimes the system does not provide it nor the outcome you desire. Please consider all options as court may not deliver. It is important to work out a backup plan if your daughter does not get the legal outcome she desires. The system is not always fair.

Unfortunately I don't have time to read all of the 9 pages of this thread so please excuse me if I've repeated what others may have said.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you Nicolette. I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach for how ugly he is getting. He is lying and trying to destroy her credability. I am grateful for the postponement because it gives her attorney and her time enough to gather as much facts and evidence.

Thank you for the heads up. It will help me in the days ahead.

He is a very good liar. Today at her house I will prepare a statement for her to take to court.

He is throwing everything at her. It is going to be a nasty, ugly experience. I am trying to prepare myself for anyting.

Luckily for us, the police and the laws take domestic violence more seriously now a days. It sounds like she has a fair judge.

I learned along time ago that the system is not always fair.

All we can do is do our best. My philosophy is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Thank you for the reality check.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Well I went to my daughters house today for a visit. I wrote out my statement for the court. I also wrote out a check for her car registration, money to go food shopping, and some money for gas etc.

I read the police report. What a cool, and calm liar he is. It was a miracle of perfect timing that they got him. Just as the police were about to leave he pulled up.

He said my daughter used a baseball bat and inflicted wounds on herself. He said they had not been fighting. In the police report, my oldest daughter interviewed by the police officer, she said he was yelling at her mom and their fighting went on until midnight.

I am glad the police took pictures of his knuckles. He did not say how come his knuckles were so red. I think he is digging a hole for himself that he will not be able to lie his way out of.

Now I know why he wanted a postponement on the restraining order. He has to face a judge for the domestic violence charge.
I so hope he gets convicted and even though he will probably get a slap on the hand, he will be convicted of a felony.

He pulled a new one. He had his attorney call my daughter and ask to visit the girls. She said no and she called her attorney and told her. Then her attorney called his attorney and told her to call her from now on and not to call her client.

His attorney also told my daughter that if she dropped the restraining order the divorce would go alot easier and my daughter would get more money. Ugliness.

He has so much nerve. He cannot face up to what he has done. He has always been a stranger to me but this takes the cake. Neither girl wants to see him. They were a family under seige and he had my daughter brainwashed and broken spirit.

She is doing so much better. The girls are doing so much better. I am so glad to have my family back.

I wrote out my statement for the court. I read the oldest granddaughters statement and my heart broke. She was so unhappy she wanted to die. I told her that I loved her so much and my heart was broken for her. She is wise beyond her years.

She is so much happier now. She got a haircut and it looks cute. She made a tether ball out of a ball and a board.

On a bad note, last night my daughter had someone park outside her house, circle around and park again. She said next time she will take a picture. I told her to call the police. I do not like this one bit. I am glad I have her call me everymorning. She will come over on Thursday to visit us. I look forward to it.

She was offered the job and so has to fill out some paperwork on Tuesday and they will do a background check on her which she should have no worries over.

I still worry her psycho husband is going to snap and do something. But he leaves them alone. He is afraid of the police. He is digging a hole for himself. I sure hope he gets convicted of felony domestic violence even if he only gets a slap on his hand.

 

[anni]

Well, it would be wonderful to catch him red-tired breaking the restraining order, so please do make sure she calls the police the next time this rocket-scientist shows up. At least then she can have a few weeks of Peace because he'll be waiting inside a nice, comfy jail cell.

I know I tend to sound a little flip about him, please do excuse if it comes across that I don't take him or the system too awfully seriously. Ohhhh yes, I do. I just got TIRED of being scared. no, terrified, 100% of the time to the point that I had NO life, nothing, and to this day I rarely go through the front door without pausing to look around. Habit. I have healing to do, and am resentful of that, too- he's still dead, I'm still scanning parking lots and carrying a purse the size of New Jersey so I can carry the arsenol. At this moment I'm being spied on/followed around by some folks who do not wish me well, who will no doubt read what Im writing here-they're everywhereeeee. If I stop suddenly, one of them is going to have to put my bridge back in for me.

BUT. If we can, I still don't think we should do one thing other than dress these morons up in pink, frilly lace and maybe use them for he doormats of our imagination. NO power to them, just none. I'm SO tired of people feeling they have some kind of right to push me around, sometimes literally like those trips I used to take down flights of stairs, I swear the top of my head is going to pop off. It's asking a LOT, I know, but try, try, try to disengage your head, or at least engage it sideways so YOU do not suffer so much. By sideways I mean of course take the danger seriously without taking his Big, Bad, Thugness seriously, like he's Thug Royalty or something and we're this guy's prey because HE said so, The End. If only all of them knew how special and unique they were NOT, huh?

One more thing to save for down the road, in 5 or 10 years time, how he thought anyone was going to even faintly believe a female took a baseball bat, beat the bejeesis out of herself. One day you'll fall off your chair, how someone could be THAT unbelievably lacking in neuron synapses, Holy heck, You just know the police took that one back to the station, along with the phantom case of bleeding knuckles. Maybe it's stigmata, he's a saint, they're breaking out for Holy Week coming up? Makes about as much sense as the baseball-bat, self-inflicted wounds and is as likely.

I can't believe his lawyer is THAT slimey. I'm pretty sure they're not allowed to do that, in point of fact, contact a person when he knows that person has an attorney. Hmmm. As in, I think that's illegal and if someone were to push that, it'd get even worse for the schmuck. Speaking of which, it might be a good thing for your side if he does lose his mind and wear his uniform to court. The genuine military present will really, really dislike this coward/beater trying to imply he's one of them, and it isn't going to help him at ALL, believe me.

Stay safe, be well, please do know we're all thinking of all of you and praying. Must fly for now, but you and your family will be on my mind today. (((((((( Gizmo and all your family )))))))))

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((((((anni))))

His lawyer is a sleazeball and doing sneaky and underhanded things. She told my daughter if she dropped the restrainin order the divorce would go alot easier and my daughter would get more money. They are really fighting against this restraining order. I only hope that my daughter gets it.

The nerve of him to have his attorney call my daughter and request a visit with the girls. The girls do not want to see him.

In this situation, my daughter has gotten alot stronger and she has drawn a line in the sand and said never again.

More and more truth comes out about how he terrorized them. It just makes me sick to my stomach

My daughter called her attorney and her attorney called his and told her not to call her client anymore and for her to go to my daughters attorney. The money has already paid for itself.

I just feel so sick over how long this has been going on.

I think I have to be very strong.

I will have to come to acceptance and accept that this jerk is trying to worm his way out of all of this.

Thank God they photographed his knuckles.

He has court with the DA. The police report is heavy reading. I am so proud that my daughter went to them and is pressing charges and pushing ahead with all of it.

She is going after his 401K, for half of it. He has another account that she is going after half of it. I am so happy she is doing this.

She has a fine lawyer. She is so clear about how done she is with him. He had her so brainwashed and broken down using gaslighting. She said most of the fights to end them she would just agree with him.

I talked to her this morning on the phone. She is doing well.

I read the statement that my oldest granddaughter wrote and It just broke my heart.

I will have to become very strong for them. My daughter told me that her best friend is building up her self esteem.

Tommorow she will have to go to the police department and fill out some paperwork, and they have to do a background check and she should pass that one with flying colors.

I wonder if there will be another ceromony for her when she becomes a dispatcher. I know I am counting my chickens before they hatch.

I understand that the police are used to seeing through liars and the judges are too. I just keep hoping he is digging a hole for himself with his pride and will fall in. He is not a bully, nor a coward with the police. He is afraid of them and does not want to go back to jail. Ihope he gets at least three months. I know he will get a slap on the hand since this is his first offense.

He filed for the divorce. I am so glad he did that. He has lost control over the family he once brutalized.

 

[The Albatross]

Very glad to read your daughter got the job Giz, and that his attourney knows that she now has representation.

 

[amethist]

Glad to hear that your daughter is staying strong Gizmo.

With you to support her, she should get through this well.