LookingForGuidance
New Here
I find myself asking this question constantly, but before it can be answered, I need to share some background. About a year ago my wife was sexually assaulted by a coworker. Shortly thereafter, she attempted suicide. She received immediate medical attention and started seeing a psychiatrist, in conjunction with a therapist whom she had already been seeing due to some depressive tendencies she had already been exhibiting. In the past several months, she has begun to show more clear cut signs of PTSD, including dissociation, anger, lashing out, and she has isolated herself from friends, family, and work. Basically everyone except for me.
A few weeks ago she had a brief in patient stay in a psych unit after a particularly bad dissociative episode, and she was hospitalized after another for two days. However, she wouldn't go inpatient voluntarily, and when she is (as we call it) "lucid", she's not a threat to herself. So what now? How can I continue to be a supportive husband? I calm her when she's having anxiety. I make sure she takes her meds. I help with ensuring doctor appointments are kept. But things seem to be getting worse instead of better. We're averaging at least a moderate episode once every three days for the past three weeks. We've eliminated all known triggers, but we're still getting random episodes, and I'm at a loss.
During episodes she can become very hurtful and aggressive toward me (verbally and emotionally, not physically). She accuses me of "violating" her for not leaving her alone during an episode, and of treating her like a child. She yells that I don't care about her and only want the illusion of a normal marriage for everyone else to see. The next day she never remembers saying these things. I know intellectually that it's not my beautiful wife saying these things, but this other person that seems to possess her during a panic attack. But knowing something intellectually and being able to process it emotionally are two very different things.
So what now? What has been effective in your relationships? What have you been able to do to help bring a dissociated person "back" to reality? Can they be brought "back" once they are "gone"? The best strategy I've found is to have her take her anxiety meds (not sure if we're allowed to name them specifically here or not) and have her take a nap to "reset" her brain, and pray she wakes up in a better place psychologically. How can I convince her to seek group/ sexual trauma therapy? She argues she doesn't need it, and I suppose that more means that she's not ready for it. How do you supporters/spouses/significant others cope with not knowing who you'll come home to any given day? I've done my best to ensure that everything is about her and getting her the help that she needs, however I'm getting to a point that I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle.
Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. I know there is a wealth of information out there and I really hope to be able to tap into it. And if there's anything I can do to help others, I will be more than happy to do so.
A few weeks ago she had a brief in patient stay in a psych unit after a particularly bad dissociative episode, and she was hospitalized after another for two days. However, she wouldn't go inpatient voluntarily, and when she is (as we call it) "lucid", she's not a threat to herself. So what now? How can I continue to be a supportive husband? I calm her when she's having anxiety. I make sure she takes her meds. I help with ensuring doctor appointments are kept. But things seem to be getting worse instead of better. We're averaging at least a moderate episode once every three days for the past three weeks. We've eliminated all known triggers, but we're still getting random episodes, and I'm at a loss.
During episodes she can become very hurtful and aggressive toward me (verbally and emotionally, not physically). She accuses me of "violating" her for not leaving her alone during an episode, and of treating her like a child. She yells that I don't care about her and only want the illusion of a normal marriage for everyone else to see. The next day she never remembers saying these things. I know intellectually that it's not my beautiful wife saying these things, but this other person that seems to possess her during a panic attack. But knowing something intellectually and being able to process it emotionally are two very different things.
So what now? What has been effective in your relationships? What have you been able to do to help bring a dissociated person "back" to reality? Can they be brought "back" once they are "gone"? The best strategy I've found is to have her take her anxiety meds (not sure if we're allowed to name them specifically here or not) and have her take a nap to "reset" her brain, and pray she wakes up in a better place psychologically. How can I convince her to seek group/ sexual trauma therapy? She argues she doesn't need it, and I suppose that more means that she's not ready for it. How do you supporters/spouses/significant others cope with not knowing who you'll come home to any given day? I've done my best to ensure that everything is about her and getting her the help that she needs, however I'm getting to a point that I'm not sure I'm strong enough to handle.
Any and all advice will be greatly appreciated. I know there is a wealth of information out there and I really hope to be able to tap into it. And if there's anything I can do to help others, I will be more than happy to do so.
