Poll Would You Re-marry Or Marry?

[Loloma]

I would consider marrying again but I would be very cynical about it and very cautious. I don't want to be alone either so who knows what life has in store for me. :rolleyes:

Well said Nicolette. I have a lot to learn before even considering it, having gone through two bad marriages. One black the other white. Learning to love myself first would be good. Going into therapy and learning barriers is important. Otherwise any future relationship would probably fail.

 

[Loveneverfails]

This is a question I ask myself a lot. In my faith marriage is a highly promoted way of life, which was one of the factors that kept me bound in a relationship that was damaging and dangerous to my physical and emotional well being. Yet bad experience aside, I find that I know way too many married men and women who are happy in their relationships to be entirely put off of the concept. I believe in marriage, I have seen how sacred and beautiful it can be when it's done right.

There's a side of me that desperately wants that. That needs to be loved and appreciated and celebrated by one very special person. There is a need in me to open my heart up to another individual and share completely everything that makes me, me and to give someone my trust. But there is a bigger and deeper part of me that is jaded by everything I've seen and experienced. It's hard to imagine opening up to anyone without getting hurt. My friends and loved ones tell me I am a special spirit that will make someone very happy and I want to believe them. But I'm not sure I am capable of making myself that vulnerable ever again.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Probably not.

It's impossible for me to find someone who doesn't think SEX SEX SEX right off the bat. And seeing as how I was sexually abused at a very young age, I can't deal with sexual pressure early in a relationship.

 

[Belle]

Mmmmmm maybe. He would have to get it, he would need to be tough but fair with me, lots of humour, sparky and delicious.
No-one comes close enough to be tempted at the mo.

 

[Belle]

Probably not. It's impossible for me to find someone who doesn't think SEX SEX SEX right off the bat. And seeing as how I was sexually abused at a very young age, I can't deal with sexual pressure early in a relationship.

(((ScaredOfLonely)))

 

[SeekingSerenity]

This was my feeling for too long after my divorce. But when I saw what I was losing because of a stupid decision that I had made so long ago, I changed my outlook and now I will stand with my bride at the altar on 27 July.

When you truly love someone, you do whatever it takes.

 

[raven123]

I would like to. Never been married. Sethe, I don't mind marrying a sex addict since I am one. lol I'm 44 so too old for kids. That has really hit home, too. :(

 

[Jlso111187]

I may only be 25 years old, but I was raised with the values that Marriage is forever. I married my husband at 19 and we have had some really bad low points to the point where I pushed him so far away that we seperated for a year and he filed for the divorce. I fought so hard to keep my marriage as he is my safety and has been for years even before we started dating. He was my best friend and was there when I was raped and got pregnant by a boyfriend of mine. So losing him I lost my world. But we ended up rekindeling our marriage and have been good for 4 years now. But if we ever were to part ways I could never bring my self to re-marry.

 

[cat]

I was married for 30yrs, then he found a younger model, divorced me, caused my ptsd, cut himself of from his children caused a lot of pain.

I will never, ever marry again. 7yrs & ptsd later I cant even think about having a relationship with a man.

 

[safenow]

I've been married four times. However, the first time I married, I took a vow that it was until "death us do part" and I meant that. The second time I married to give a rape baby a last name. The third time was so I could have sex. Which also turned into a joke, since he was so shy and felt having the lights on during sex or jumping in the shower with him meant I was a nymphomaniac. The last time was for protection. Talk about a joke that was.

My answer is a big NO! Might sound silly to you young people, but I felt as though I committed adultery when I remarried after the first marriage didn't work out. Always felt guilty until his death.

 

[Jlso111187]

Safenow,

It doesnt sound silly to me. My parents are old school and taught me that there is NO SUCH THING AS DIVORCE. My friends think Im dumb because some of the problems me and my husband have had. But my mom taught me that you never go to bed ANGRY. You talk things out. With PTSD this is hard. Very hard and some nights my husband just dismisses it as a bad day for me so we dont really talk about it. But if its an actual problem we do talk it out before we go to bed.

 

[intothelight]

There are times I wish I knew then what I know now. If I had to do it all over again, I would have had therapy and worked on myself before I entered another relationship. I know that my own issues have damaged this marriage; but in fairness to myself, I know that I did not see things especially some of his red flags. (His own baggage and unhealthy way of dealing with issues.)

This marriage is at a crossroads and I am not sure how things will end up. It will either be stronger and healthier, or it will end. Right now I am in for the long haul, but it takes two and I am not willing to settle for the status quo.