Sufferer Will It Ever Get Better? Trauma At Work

[I Can Do This]

Yes - my mind always disappeared into my thoughts so I was rarely present to anything. I learned that when I feel depression I am thinking about the past and when I have anxiety I am thinking about the future. And when I recoil into old behaviors, thoughts and emotions - I am bringing the past into the present. This is where my therapist is so essential for me because I can't see it very well. She is my reality check and my "reptile" doctor.

I did go through CBT for a year or more - it helped me with many things - the way I view the world and hidden beliefs but it didn't ever "touch" the PTSD. That therapist sent me to a trauma therapist (when I had a very rough, rough patch) that specializes in somatic experience. THAT is what made the difference for me. I feel virtually healthy most of the time now - whereas the good days were very few and far between and I had no ability to start a day good and end it good as well. I couldn't hold my center - now I can so much better.

I know how bad it is to get knocked off your feet - I have had a very long bout of that myself. I truly believe this experience will refine your passion and give you so much empathy. I know you could have lived without this lesson - but the pressure will make you into a shining diamond! What girl doesn't love a diamond?

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Psychology Girl and welcome.

I too am in the UK and work for the NHS ( not in mental health). I am astounded that you did not get the full entitlement of sick pay. When I had a 'melt down' and was diagnosed with PTSD I was off work for about 4 months. All on full pay. Thereafter I was on a phased return to work over the next 6 weeks.

I appreciate that you will not be able to return to your previous post, but don't lose heart. It does take quite some time to stabilise and feel confident again, enough to start looking for work. As well as the Citizen's advice, each local authority has a benefits advisor to help you through the maze. Just call your local council and ask.

As for therapy - I am a supporter of EMDR as I found it incredibly helpful. It is also pretty fast compared to CBT. My CPN is trained in EMDR and it is all on the NHS so I have not had to have the multiple therapists as I read for others. I take Quetiapine for anxiety which really helps . I started on it morning and evening but now just take 25mg at night to help me sleep.

I know it is tough being on 'the other side'. My husband is a retired psychiatric nurse and found it so hard that he could not 'fix me'. On the other hand I have found learning all about the goings-on in the mind have given me a greater understanding of what PTSD is all about. It is now 3 years since I was diagnosed and I am 3 months into an Open University Degree in... Psychology.

Best wishes,
Lucy x

 

[Pietro]

I hasten to add that these managers were thrown out of post a couple of months later for an unrelated incident and I was quickly reinstated but I told them where to go

Just started reading this thread, and saw this. Quite unjust, to say the least. Regardless of what the police said, have you considered consulting with a lawyer? Not sure if you're in the US or not, but, if so, many lawyers will do an initial consultation for free. I am NOT a lawyer, but I've dealt with HR some, and this doesn't sound appropriate.

As far as who you would sue, it would not be the patient -- it would be your employer. Again, I'm going by US law, but an employer, regardless of whether you were full or part time, is generally responsible for providing a safe environment for all people under their employ, especially within facilities they maintain. And, especially given that those who treated you so poorly were then later fired for misconduct, this strengthens your case.

Unless you signed a contract with some clause where it was acknowledged, and you accepted, that you could be attacked and that your employer would bear no responsibility for any damages out of this, I think it would be worth your while to investigate this. It's simply wrong for you to be attacked like that, "in the line of duty", and not be taken care of.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[Deleted member 19035]

Hello and welcome. I hope you are on the path to healing and find renewed confidence soon. Take care.

 

[smogmonster]

It's a curse but I think too much.

I know all about this. I have Attention Deficit Disorder as well as PTSD, which makes my thoughts race constantly about anything and nothing in particular. Meditation or anything along those lines has always been difficult. I have a lot of the same issues as far as anxiety and not wanting to leave the house, especially lately. I have ignored my own feelings for quite a long time about the trauma in my own life as a child, so it's very hard to remember not only particular events but how I felt about it, and that's what I have to do now in my own treatments. Don't be too hard on yourself. The purpose of the therapy is to benefit you- it's not a test that you pass or fail. This is true even if it takes a while to figure out what works. If what you're doing isn't working, that isn't a moral failing on your part.

I asked my therapist about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety before I had a PTSD diagnosis, but she was always a bit reluctant and called it "homework," and I procrastinate, so we never got around to it. Once I had a PTSD diagnosis, her recommendation was EMDR, as was my psychiatrist's. I've only had one session, but I like it so far and it actually seems to work.

She mentioned to me that CBT works but it's a lot to do to get a result, while EMDR is much faster and doesn't require many sessions. I'm lucky in that the local community mental health center in this small town has the resources I need relatively cheap. If this treatment doesn't work for me, we can stop anytime, and my therapist can offer many other options. I hope you are able to try other therapies and treatments if this doesn't work for you. I am not sure about whether CBT is right for you or trauma in general, but I do know not every type of treatment for trauma is going to work for everyone.

My experience dealing with mental health here in the US is that you have to learn how to be your own advocate in order to find the treatment you need. Not sure how that works in the UK, but I gather that it's somewhat similar. Even so, I've been able to find resources through the public health system which have been more benefit to me than anyone in private practice so far. Also, in my experience many people who work in mental health become interested in helping others due to their experiences working through their own problems. Even if that were not the case with you, exposure to trauma is not unusual for someone in your profession, so there is no shame in your very human reaction to it and your need to heal. That's all you need to deal with at the moment. If possible, put thoughts of work aside and just concentrate on taking care of yourself right now.

You may not ever be able to go back, but you can heal, and you can get your life back where you are in control. You're already on your way. Just be patient with yourself while healing, and don't give up on yourself. If you feel like doing that or want to talk about it, people are here to help.

 

[ashdawn8287]

I am sorry you have to go through this. I know it is hard to wrap you're head around. I'm sure you have heard that you need to focus on the present. Do little things every day. Healing is a process. YOU ARE A WORK IN PROGESS! By just joining this community and seeking/searching for answers you are moving forward. Give yourself a pat on the back. You have to give yourself time. I write, bake, sketch, any small activity that keeps my brain concentrated on the present. I find staying on a routine, exercise, eating healthy, cognitive behavioral therapy, medications, hobbies (even if I suck at them), and a clean house works magic on me. You are going to have bad days and they are going to hurt, but you are going to be okay. I work extremely hard at it every single day as I'm sure most of us does. Change your thoughts and mind. You will be okay. This too shall pass.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Hi Psychology girl, I sympathize with everything you are going through. But there is hope. Have you checked into EMDR. I read through the above posts and did not catch any mention of it. As a professional you probably have heard about it.

I will tell you it is at times hard but puts the trauma miles away instead of in your face. Concentration improves. I do not know if you are open to this but I thought I would bring it up as a successful treatment for PTSD. I have done years of talk. DBT and CBT nothing has helped as much.

tb

 

[psychology girl]

Regardless of what the police said, have you considered consulting with a lawyer?

I've attempted to use a 'quote' so I'm sorry if I haven't quite done it properly! Pietro, I did in fact contact a lawyer and I did take legal action against the hospital and they have accepted liability for what happened. But it takes a long time to go through all the procedures so it's a case of waiting to a time when I can settle.

Thank you for all of your messages. Sorry I haven't been online all week. I have just had a really really hard week and I am struggling to keep my head above water. I'm going into quite a dark place and I am struggling to get out of it. I approached an employment agency to see if I could get a bit of part time work through them because money is tight but whilst I have to go for CBT and treatment for my back on a weekly basis they said they can't help me. I don't really feel able to work at the moment but I am struggling at home. I just feel useless. I feel as if the whole world is moving along around me and I am not a part of it. Does anyone else ever feel like that?

I am really feeling like I have let my family down and my husband down. I know what happened was not my fault but it isn't just my life being affected. Everyone around me who I care about are being affected also. I feel bad for my parents because they have invested thousands of pounds into my education to give me a good life and I feel like it is all wasted now and my husband is having to deal with me being absolutely vile to him. I'm snappy, irritable and probably a nightmare to live with. He is trying his hardest to support me but I keep throwing it back at him. We went to the local pet shop this weekend just gone and I was looking at the animals and I turned around and he was gone. He had wandered off and I literally ran around the shop in blind panic trying to find him. And when I did I lost the plot screaming at him for leaving me on my own. It was in front of so many people. Thy must have thought I was crazy and I totally embarrassed him but I just couldn't think straight. I'm scared one day he might say that enough is enough and walk.

I am feeling really desperate and I don't know which way to turn. I am so full of anger and I just feel like my life has no real purpose anyone. Sorry this is such a 'downer' of a post! I just feel utterly lost.

 

[psychology girl]

Sorry I haven't quite replied to the most recent messages directly. I will do so when my mind is a bit clearer.

Sorry.

X

 

[Pietro]

You need to have patience with yourself, give yourself time, and be compassionate towards yourself.

If a friend or family member had gone through what you experienced, and was having trouble in the aftermath, how would you react to them? Would you make snide remarks about how ridiculous they're behaving, behind their backs, and abandon them? Do you think your family and friends would do this to you? From what you've said, the answer is probably "no" to all of these. :) So, you should give yourself the same compassion.

It's very easy to criticize yourself, especially when you're down because you're an easy target. ;) Who knows, you may have had issues with self-criticism prior to the attack, and these are now really surfacing. Regardless, this is a difficult process to stop; it will also take time. One thing to consider: if you can work towards being easier on yourself, you may find that you are much less irritable with others, including your husband. The worse you feel about yourself, the more likely you are to project this.

There's no easy way through this, but nothing you've mentioned seems unreasonable for someone who's been through what you've have. I certainly have had, and still have, the same feelings, even though my history is different.

 

[Rumors]

Hey psych girl,
You doing ok? Doesn't sound like it. I don't have any words of wisdom however just know that I am sending up prayers and rooting for you! No question that you have a lot to work through! Hang in there!