General Set Him Off... Again...

[awayhome06]

How long have you been together? Married? Kids?

We have been married for six years and have two very young children. Unfortunately the question of sticking it out was a big fat no on his end, at least at the moment. He has a lot of conflict and stress in his head right now. Whether that changes in the future or not, I'm not willing to cut him out of our kids' lives, so I have to deal with him. Besides, I still love him and want him to find some peace.

I hear that I need to be my own best self as the solution for every aspect of what we are going through. I feel like that is important for my kids especially right now. I feel like we are at a vital point in all of this that could go well, or turn very negative. I intend to do everything I can to make it as positive as possible. At the very least, I won't let him suck all of us down to the depths of dispare with him.

 

[Bilby]

I hear that I need to be my own best self as the solution for every aspect of what we are going through. I feel like that is important for my kids especially right now. I feel like we are at a vital point in all of this that could go well, or turn very negative. I intend to do everything I can to make it as positive as possible. At the very least, I won't let him suck all of us down to the depths of dispare with him.

This is good to hear. Do the very best to take care of yourself, and your children. Get some professional support for yourself, and I strongly suggest considering what action you will take when he crosses the line (i.e. gets angry). It might be that you pack yourself and the kids up, and go out for a few hours - perhaps to a nearby park for the kids to play, to a friends place for a coffee (if they have kids, so much the better as they can all play) or just go for a drive and explore somewhere together.

It's great that you want to find some peace and work things out - just remember, that he needs to want this also. His part in all this means committing himself to getting help - he needs to try to get better and to find ways of managing things.