Why Can't You Accept It...

[Wopado]

The last time we hung out he told me "I shouldn't have came to see you." I asked why, and he said "Coz I'm angry." In the end, he thanked me for seeing him and told me how I always cheer him up. After that, he withdrew into silence once again....I miss him. I know he has a lot of frustration and insecurities, and he doesn't like showing it. What shall I do?

 

[Ipur]

If supporting him is what you really want to do, without intention of gain, then you simply let him be with you. But that is a lot to ask of a supporter. To give everything and get nothing but little scraps in return. The unfortunate truth is that for a very long while, that may be all he is capable of giving.

 

[Wopado]

If supporting him is what you really want to do, without intention of gain, then you simply let him be with you.

Any advice on the best way to handle isolation or withdrawal? He always tells me he's not ignoring me. "Just busy." But sometimes he doesn't even remember what he did or he'll say all he did was sleep.

 

[Ipur]

I'd say he may not even realize he's isolating, he may be so deeply withdrawn into himself that all he can do is function on a mariginal level on his own. OR when he isolates it may be because he's so emotionally unstable he knows it's best for him to be alone. Sometimes it helps during these times for my supporter to send me ONE text, say they're there if I need someone to talk to and then leave it at that. You could try that, that way he knows you care but at the same time you don't have to worry about pushing too hard and he won't feel suffocated. He may come back(I suspect he will) or he may not, but you've done your part. Then you carry on your life independently as best you can, when he's ready to be a part of it, he will be.

 

[Pusid]

It is the most awful feeling to tell someone with PTSD that you love them and know they sincerely believe you from the look of raw pain on their face.