Sick Of The Term 'ptsd Is No Excuse'

[Nicolette]

Do you have a link to this psychiatrist's work please.

I will tell you Anthony can confirm the information as it was obtained first hand.... And I know you'll believe Anthony, giving him respect and credence above anything I say.

 

[Meadowsweet]

Nicolette, I can't understand an article that claims the generalisation that people who isolate with PTSD have a specific mindset. It doesn't apply to me, and yet the generalisation appears to encompass everyone.

For that reason, I want to read the study myself, so that I can understand what the points that the article made was. What you have presented is two sentences that sum up an entire study? A single article? I don't know, that's why I asked for a link.

It has nothing to do with respect or lack of for anyones authority on everything. It was a straightforward request. What you take personally is part of your PTSD and not for me to deal with right now.

 

[rainy_daze]

I guess it's difficult to really understand how sick you are of this phrase Loveneverfails as I haven't been affected by it or seen it over used.

I said in an earlier post when I think I may have used that phrase myself at some point, but not in the context you have been describing.

If someone was in the Chat section saying things that make me concerned for their safety, I would tell them to leave too, to make sure they were safe at that moment in time. If someone asks me for advice, I give it to them. If someone wants my honest opinion, then I give it to them. Maybe we need to be accepting that people may use the phrase, because that is their honest opinion, even if we think it’s wrong? And if we think their opinion is wrong then we can ask them more about it or ignore it.

Advising someone to leave on principle in cases where abuse is NOT occurring is not a wise course. They must ultimately make up their own minds of course, but leaving should not be the immediate choice when they're upset and NOT being abused. Communication and work are the first steps. Counseling, personal therapy and so on are logical choices. It's very easy to tell someone we've never met, whose side of the story is the only information we have, to kick their partner to the curb. But this is their life, their family and their heart. We need to be more careful what we're telling people.

By the same token, maybe people need to be aware of why it is they are seeking advice too. People read the rules of the forum before they join and people ultimately do make their own decisions.

If someone has been considering leaving a person for a long time, then maybe all a person is looking for is support in being able to do that. Reassurance perhaps? Or possibly a place to discuss what is happening in their relationship? In reality I don't think you would leave a relationship based solely on advice from here and without properly thinking it through, even if you were emotional or vulnerable at the time of writing the posts. Maybe I'm wrong. This is all from my own opinion and from considering four pages of posts.

PTSD is no excuse, but it is also no excuse to tell someone the person they love is a horrible human being. In times of physical danger and other forms of abuse, it is certainly appropriate to advice them to leave

I see Loveneverfails as only discussing things that do not include abuse. Abuse is separate to this conversation and nothing excuses it so we are putting that aside. Everyone agrees with that. Nothing excuses abuse.

I think everyone has defined abuse now. Interesting link you put up Nicolette; it made me thankful for getting out of a nasty relationship.

I have read through all these posts and I think the discussion has ended up in the direction of discussing the difference between abuse and PTSD (a huge difference between the two, which my partner and I have just discussed). This is possibly away from the original topic of Loveneverfails's original point, which was (apart from disliking the phrase which is the title of the thread itself):

Telling every supporter who posts that their sufferer isn't meeting their needs that they're with a bad partner is in all likelihood not true and unintentionally(I hope) playing games with other peoples lives.

We need to be more careful what we're telling people.

 

[Nicolette]

Nicolette, I can't understand an article that claims the generalisation that people who isolate with PTSD have a specific mindset. It doesn't apply to me, and yet the generalisation appears to encompass everyone..

I clearly stated it was first hand information and his opinion which he expressed. I never mentioned an article. Not everything is in writing on the Internet and even if it is it may not be correct. I also never mentioned a study - other than to now tell you he has been practising for over 20 years and highly regarded in Australia.

I now need to walk away as this is becoming a challenge of facts and no longer being on topic.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I didn't understand the context in which this person said these, and maybe he wasn't applying it to all PTSD sufferers. This is what I wanted to clarify.

 

[alh1080]

I am 100% disabled PTSD being a huge part of it. The nightmares, intrusive thoughts and mood swings, can only be resolved through medication in most cases. Mine in particular , I do not enjoy being irritable, I do not enjoy being hyper vigilant, or disassociated from my love ones, but with out my medication this happens, and is beyond my control. Your right in saying PTSD is not an excuse it is however the reason people who are not medicated properly behave how they do.

There is a difference between an excuse and a reason. Excuse implies lack of responsibility, responsibility implies the ability to control, and without the proper meds severe PTSD sufferers are not in control. Abandoning someone who is handicapped to this capacity is not only cruel, but negligent. Step outside of yourself for a second and realize just as a paraplegic can't walk, many PtSD sufferrers cannot control their thoughts.