Undiagnosed A Little About Me

[littlelion]

I'm not diagnosed with PTSD or anything, I'm suspecting that I could have it, though. Anyways.

I'm a teenager. I like to read and write. I write mostly poems and stories. Some of the things I like are when it rains, tea, and hugs.

I've struggled with SI for four years now, I think. I've been emotionally abused by my dad for as long as I can remember. I've started to heal though, and I've always thought that you can't walk out of a war without woundsyou know, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how much the past abuse is still effecting me in my daily life.

I have a hard time with relations to other people. It has been screwed up, really. I have a hard time trusting people, scared of people leaving and so on. When there's anything that reminds me of the abuse (someone raising their voice, acting in a certain way etc) I get anxiety. Feels almost like the feelings I felt back then are the same as now.

I'm sorry if this isn't "right" - after all, I don't know if I have PTSD, but I know that what I've been through has changed me, a lot. It's still pretty new and I don't know everything... there are parts of my life that I don't remember, so it's difficult sometimes. I have some dissociation going on, too.

Thanks for reading. I'd be happy for any replies/thoughts on what I've written and so on.

 

[sthrngirl]

Do you plan on going to the Doctor and talking with them and seeing whats going on?

You are a teenager, so much more of life to experience.. We all go thru different things at different points in life. (all my changes where from 21-current, im 24). It is good to have support and someone to talk to! I suffer from depression and anxiety myself. I have been A LOT better since I have been medicated, its still tough. I hope one day I can be "normal" and not have to turn to medications. Only time will tell, right? :)

I'm here if you ever need to talk :tup:

 

[littlelion]

Do you plan on going to the Doctor and talking with them and seeing whats going on?

No, not really. I'm scared they won't believe me/take it seriously, it has happened in the past and I can't go through it again. I'm learning about it online, and yeah, sometimes it'd be good to have someone to talk to who knows about trauma etc, but I don't have the courage to open up in reality. I know it would be a lot easier if I could, but right now I can't and so I'm doing my best on my own.

Only time will tell, right? :)

You're so right! I'm also on medication (for adhd), and I'm a lot better than before, as well.

I'm here if you ever need to talk :tup:

Good to hear!

 

[sthrngirl]

Well the first step to recovery.. is admitting you may have a problem.

When I say "admitting" I mean telling someone, anyone. You are doing good by opening up on here, that is a step. I use to be afraid people would judge me before I started talking with my parents about something just being wrong in me, in my head, in my heart, I didn't know who I was and I'm still trying to figure it out. (A lot happened to me in the course of about 10 months and it just mentally, emotionally, and physically knocked me down, hard!) It's hard to not be afraid but you can't let it hold you back from getting help. The longer you go without help the worse it could get.

I have had people come to me and say how much they admire and respect me for reaching out and getting help and all along I was afraid of judgement! We all have our problems, secrets, inner demons, etc. Things like that in life must be faced and I only say that because I am an example and I did not deal with a lot of things that I should have. Once I started accepting and dealing with the things that have happened and things that I have no control over/things I can't change, things got better. It does not happen over night. I'm still getting better and it has been over a year. But everyone is different of course!

But yes, you are young and I hope you find some peace and know that it is completely normal to need help or medication. Do we want to be on meds to function? Absolutely not, but sometimes we have to do things we don't want to to get better.

 

[littlelion]

Well the first step to recovery.. is admitting you may have a problem.

For a very long time I went on with life as if nothing had happened, and then I realized that I have some problems (as if it would be a surprise, but actually, I was a bit surprised about it). I don't know, maybe I had thought that I could just go on with life, but apparently, it wasn't (isn't) that easy. In a way I feel good about finding out that I still have things I have to deal with, the sooner the better, or something like that...

I have had people come to me and say how much they admire and respect me for reaching out and getting help and all along I was afraid of judgement! We all have our problems, secrets, inner demons, etc. Things like that in life must be faced and I only say that because I am an example and I did not deal with a lot of things that I should have. Once I started accepting and dealing with the things that have happened and things that I have no control over/things I can't change, things got better.

I'm happy to hear that things got better when you reached out and got help. :) Maybe I'll also be able to do that one day.

 

[DMerish]

I've struggled with SI for four years now, I think. I've been emotionally abused by my dad for as long as I can remember. I've started to heal though, and I've always thought that you can't walk out of a war without woundsyou know, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how much the past abuse is still effecting me in my daily life. I have a hard time with relations to other people. It has been screwed up, really. I have a hard time trusting people, scared of people leaving and so on. When there's anything that reminds me of the abuse (someone raising their voice, acting in a certain way etc) I get anxiety. Feels almost like the feelings I felt back then are the same as now.

Hi Littllion :hug:

Your screen name and avatar are very creative :-)

Many/Most people go through life without recognition that maybe there's something that needs to be worked on so that they may feel more safe, comfortable, and happy lving the lives that they do.

Often peope that do recognize they have something to work on take notice later on in their lives after hard to break habits have been formed or after very, very traumatic events have happened to them.

I'm reminded of the lion in Wizard of Oz - Are you familiar with that story? The lion thought he was a coward, but in reality he did bravest things. I am amazed at your courage to look at yourself and say, "Hey, maybe something's not quite right here and maybe I could look into that and do something." I'm amazed at yor willness to try and reach out one way or the other!

I have pretty good intuituion, and my intuition tells me you will make a connection with someone, or several people, that will help you understand what's going on, get you going on a healing journey, and that you, yourself, are going to find an amazing person inside yourself that is whole and happy and loving, who is capable of taking care of themself and say "no" to other people's bullsh*t, and what you learn on your journey you'll be able to share with others to help with their journey.

You've come to a safe place here where lots of people will befriend you . . Keep knocking on doors at times when your strength is a tiny bit stronger and the right peope/persons will begin to answer . . .

:hug:
Drew ~

 

[littlelion]

Your screen name and avatar are very creative :-)

Thank you! :)

I'm reminded of the lion in Wizard of Oz - Are you familiar with that story? The lion thought he was a coward, but in reality he did bravest things.

I think I've heard of it, but I can't say that it's anything I remember. Sounds really good though.

I am amazed at your courage to look at yourself and say, "Hey, maybe something's not quite right here and maybe I could look into that and do something." I'm amazed at yor willness to try and reach out one way or the other!

Thank you so much! Reading that made me feel so happy just now! :)

I have pretty good intuituion, and my intuition tells me you will make a connection with someone, or several people, that will help you understand what's going on, get you going on a healing journey, and that you, yourself, are going to find an amazing person inside yourself that is whole and happy and loving, who is capable of taking care of themself and say "no" to other people's bullsh*t, and what you learn on your journey you'll be able to share with others to help with their journey.

I hope you're right, that sound great.

You've come to a safe place here where lots of people will befriend you . . Keep knocking on doors at times when your strength is a tiny bit stronger and the right peope/persons will begin to answer . . .

I'm happy to hear that I've come to the right place as I wasn't sure at first whether this is a place for me or not.

:hug:
Drew ~

:hug: to you, too!

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to MyPTSD! :)

 

[littlelion]

Welcome to MyPTSD! :)

Thank you! :)

 

[KP the nut]

Hi and welcome.

I would advice you to go see a professional for a diagnosis. Then they will help you re counselling if needed.

You say you are a teenager, can I ask how old you are?

 

[littlelion]

Hi and welcome.

Thank you.

You say you are a teenager, can I ask how old you are?

I'm 16, turning 17 soon.

 

[anthony]

Sorry, we had a recent change in age here from 18 to 13, and someone forgot that and deleted this thread and banned your account. All undone now. Just a little confusion on our behalf and sorry for any access issue caused.

Our bad.