presentjoy
Silver Member
I'm married to another new member @Jemini
We are having a lot of problems. Discovering and learning about C-PTSD as something we are both dealing with has helped us understand a lot about our patterns but maybe we're too late, or it's too complicated or we just can't work through things enough to have a healthy relationship. It feels so painful because we've been together for 7 years, we have been through so much, and have worked so hard. We have had good times. Maybe this latest trauma was just too much. It's not his fault. It's not mine. Although I'm recognizing more that I have have major intimacy problems and I flee, and I'm not good at expressing empathy face-to-face, and I dissociate and forget things, and there can be so much conflict, with my issues and his issues. I wish we could be together. I wish I could unlock from the pain and just be with him.
This is public, I know. But that's why I'm posting it.
It's for you, Jemini, because I want you to know but I also want to put it out loud in writing. You know I'm better at writing than speaking much of the time. And I want you to know <3
10 Things I Love About J
We are having a lot of problems. Discovering and learning about C-PTSD as something we are both dealing with has helped us understand a lot about our patterns but maybe we're too late, or it's too complicated or we just can't work through things enough to have a healthy relationship. It feels so painful because we've been together for 7 years, we have been through so much, and have worked so hard. We have had good times. Maybe this latest trauma was just too much. It's not his fault. It's not mine. Although I'm recognizing more that I have have major intimacy problems and I flee, and I'm not good at expressing empathy face-to-face, and I dissociate and forget things, and there can be so much conflict, with my issues and his issues. I wish we could be together. I wish I could unlock from the pain and just be with him.
This is public, I know. But that's why I'm posting it.
It's for you, Jemini, because I want you to know but I also want to put it out loud in writing. You know I'm better at writing than speaking much of the time. And I want you to know <3
10 Things I Love About J
- He is a very compassionate person who cares about people and the world, and wants to make the world a better place.
- He loves cats like I do, and I love watching him cuddle with them
- Even when he's not practicing every day, he plays guitar most awesomely. It moves my heart.
- He introduced me to backpacking. I love going out in the woods with him and while we make dinner, he'll explain quantum physics to me and stuff like that, in ways I can understand.
- He loves the Muppets. This might be reason #1. :woot:
- He is a good programmer and a good at teaching me programming even though I have some problems with logic. I enjoy it
- He's an artist, like me, and we can go to a museum and appreciate art together, even when we like different things. He likes great architecture. I really like drawing together.
- He knows practically when every movie was released and has seen almost everything, and can name his top 100 favourite movies. I always appreciate going to see movies with him.
- He has always wanted to talk things out, he's not a person who wants to avoid things even if they are really hard. He's not afraid of therapy, or of sharing with people when he feels safe
- Those quiet moments together, when it feels like we can just be in the same space, however small or hurt or sad or vulnerable that is, and comfort each other. He will give me empathy about things, and see things about me or my situation that don't occur to me. This feels like family.
