Hi all, i'm new here to the forum. I guess i would be considered a carer since i am very worried about someone whom i think may have ptsd. Obviously the right thing to do would be for him to get some help and recieve a diagnosis, but he hasn't yet, and believes he can overcome it all by himself. He (bf) ended the relationship with me, which left me quite a wreck, and not sure what to do. I turn to y'all because i see how much you help one another, and have a great support system here. I have read many of your threads and have gained an incredible insight already, and i thank you all for that!
My question to y'all as sufferers is about relationships with a husband/wife or a gf/bf.
What are your boundaries? Is there a difference between the way a husband/wife is treated, compared to the way a gf/bf is treated? Or are the same rules applied to all?
When would you be certain it is okay to open up to your partner? Is there something you are looking for in your partner that confirms that it's okay to open up and trust them?
Also, i do understand that the sufferer does push away their loved one in order to protect them and not hurt them. But at the same time, pushing the carer away is also hurting them. My question here is, how does it make the sufferer feel to know that in either option, the carer is going to feel hurt? Are emotions too numb to understand this, or are you fully aware of this? I'm thinking it must be a huge conflict you have on your minds, but i just wanted a little clarity regarding this.
Lastly, no matter how numb you may feel, or how far you may push your loved one away, are you still hoping that they will still come back to you regardless and show that they care? Or is enough is enough?
If you have anything else you would like to add in regards to relationships, by all means, please do share. I'm trying to get a better understanding on how you feel on the other side of the fence, since it could help me understand my ex better, and stop me from making any wrong moves.
Thank you, and i look forward to getting to know you all better.
My question to y'all as sufferers is about relationships with a husband/wife or a gf/bf.
What are your boundaries? Is there a difference between the way a husband/wife is treated, compared to the way a gf/bf is treated? Or are the same rules applied to all?
When would you be certain it is okay to open up to your partner? Is there something you are looking for in your partner that confirms that it's okay to open up and trust them?
Also, i do understand that the sufferer does push away their loved one in order to protect them and not hurt them. But at the same time, pushing the carer away is also hurting them. My question here is, how does it make the sufferer feel to know that in either option, the carer is going to feel hurt? Are emotions too numb to understand this, or are you fully aware of this? I'm thinking it must be a huge conflict you have on your minds, but i just wanted a little clarity regarding this.
Lastly, no matter how numb you may feel, or how far you may push your loved one away, are you still hoping that they will still come back to you regardless and show that they care? Or is enough is enough?
If you have anything else you would like to add in regards to relationships, by all means, please do share. I'm trying to get a better understanding on how you feel on the other side of the fence, since it could help me understand my ex better, and stop me from making any wrong moves.
Thank you, and i look forward to getting to know you all better.