What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

[Britt.f7]

Texted my father earlier in the week to go to my son's game per son's request. Night of the game and I have heard nothing. I know he reads his texts.

Reminds me of my childhood and the many no shows. Trying not to be hopeful that he will just show up. Trying not to show my disappointment in front of my son.

So, I'm feeling somewhat hopeful and disappointed at the same time.

 

[kacee129]

I feel very sad because we are splitting up
I feel guilty because I couldn't "fix" him
I feel guilty because I can't learn to just live with it.
I feel very sad and afraid for him because he will be leaving with hardly any funds and no place to go.
I feel sad for him because he has no friends and no one he can count on.
I'm angry that this had to happen.
I feel totally alone. I'm always alone. Story of my life.
And yes I'm feeling sorry for myself too!

 

[DMerish]

I'm doing the hokey-pokey tonight . . . Yes, I'm actually going to go out. My eldest son, who is a artist in addition to having a regular job, has a big gallery opening tonight, so me and my self-consciousness (and pride : ) will hide behind my camera and mingle among "old" friends and new acquaintances.

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

I feel calm. Little one insisted on sleeping at Grandma's. He looks so peaceful asleep.

 

[Britt.f7]

Disappointed in my dad. He sent us a text telling us he couldn't make it to my son's game less then thirty minutes before the game. He lives an hour away and knew about it for three days. Found out from my sister though that she texted him at the end of sept and he just replied to her a little after he texted me. Just a new way to ignore us. I don't know that he means to. I'm not going to change him.

Happy that my sister was at the game and my son was thrilled to see her. They have a good relationship. Glad that my son and husband came with me.

Why I can never play in competitive sports...I feel bad for the losing team. To the point where it almost hurts, especially when they are losing badly, like this team was. Not my son's, the other side.

 

[DMerish]

Well, I did the hokey-pokey - I saw eight people (two of which I used to be good friends with) that I hadn't seen in twelve years. Friends/family have their own lives. And when someone (like me) has PTSD and is challenged by life and isolates, well, folks just have to move on. But seeing these "old" friends was like slipping on familiar gloves - they know I went through bad stuff with the ex and didn't pry. They were warm and welcoming, inquisitive about the present - what I was up to, etc.. It felt good, and promts me to want to reach out to them move . . .

 

[Lionheart]

I have insomnia :wideeyed: and I am in physical pain :inpain: . I am anxious :nailbiting:, bored :bored:, lonely :shy: and frustrated :banghead: . I have snowballing depression symptoms :cry:. I am really sad and it seems the pain and other symptoms are getting worse.:confused: I am usually good at handling things, (most of the time), but I am not doing so well at the moment.:depressed:

I see the doctor in about 2 weeks or so and I am hopeful for some tests to determine the cause and proper treatment of my pain. :unsure:The insomnia has been ongoing for several months and needs to be controlled soon. The boredom can be fixed more easily I think, but the loneliness is getting very old and the anxiety and frustration are directly tied to the amount of pain and disability I am experiencing.:arghh;:sour::(

Presently, I can't drive, do household chores, cook for myself, or shop for groceries. I am thinking more and more that I am becoming a shut in, *(perhaps the depression talking),...I dunno, I just know my health is taking a turn for the worse and it bites!!!:grumpy:

The last time I mentioned my problem with walking and standing (due to pain) to my doctor, she said I was just going to have to push through it. I don't think she was "hearing" me!!! Same with reporting insomnia to my psychiatrist...she's not hearing me or I am somehow not making myself heard!?!. hmm???

:sorry: Hugs and suggestions are welcome and thanks for letting me 'vent' my frustration!!!

 

[DMerish]

(((many hugs))) to you LH - :sick:

Sounds to me that your physical pain isn't something that one could just "push through" -

With all the knowledge we have today, IMO no one should have to suffer with pain and sleepless nights for very long (unless they choose to) at least not to the degree as you've described, And Insomnia is awful. Very frustrating, and adds to the depression, anxiety, etc., etc., which makes it all double frustrating! Errrrgh!!!!

I'm so sorry to hear things are so rough and that your doctor's don't seem to be listening.

I've had many sleepless nights of it over the last year (PTSD disturbed sleep, not physical pain). But taking a prescription to block nightmares or taking a prescription sleep aid scares me. But, thankfully, a few weeks ago someone on these boards said that pills that contain diphenhydramine HCl and/or doxylamine succinate (antihistamines, I believe) in the form of sleep aids are helpful.

Diphenhydramine HCl and/or doxylamine succinate are both FDA approved in the USA as over-the-counter sedatives for sleep. I found them at my local drug store in Unisom. They helped me get back to sleeping more normally. You may want to consider something over the counter, but if you're taking any other medications probably check with a pharmacist or doctor before you do so.

I hope things turn for the better for you soon. :hug:

Drew

 

[Lionheart]

Thank you Drew!!! Your kind words are insightful, helpful, and comforting. :) I collapsed from exhaustion and managed to get a couple hours sleep :sleep: and feel a bit better.... the pain has eased off some and if I can get back to sleep for a few more hours, I will be done with this particular episode of insomnia and can try your suggestion tomorrow night.:tup:

I am on a lot of medicine so I guess I should at least check with my pharmacist or doctor before taking OTC meds, but I am hopeful and that means a lot to me, so thanks again for your reply!!!!:cool::happy:

:hug:
Peace,
Lion

 

[Abstract]

Lionheart,

That sounds awful and overwhelming. :( I am glad you are feeling a little more hopeful.

When my insomnia was particularly bad (on average and consistently 1 or 2 hours for a year or so) my joint and muscle pain problems went through the roof. Apparently we require sleep to help with muscle repair and other related things. I find when my depression tips over into clinical depression then my body pain issues also greatly increase.

I am glad they are going to look properly to get to the bottom of the pain.

Sending you a hug too if you would like it. :hug:

 

[Lionheart]

Sending you a hug too if you would like it. :hug:

I would like a hug very much right now, thank you so much!!!

:hug:'s and Peace,
Lion

 

[p-no]

Scared and wanting to run fo the hills! Like Forrest Gump, even up the hills, down the hills, straight on and then hop on a ship and cross the ocean.

Freaking out a bit about not finding my baking pan, feeling desperate and stupid. I am convinced I sorted through all boxes but seemingly not.