Previous Therapy Experience Hindering Progress

[Reds]

6yrs back I was seeing a therapist who fell I love with me and I liked her back. She had never dated a girl before but liked me. So we had sexual relations for a month or so. I was really attached to her. One day when I went for my session she told me we cannot see each other again and I was really hurt. Got so depressed and was admitted in hospital.

This year I started therapy again and I am finding it difficult to trust that my therapist will never hurt me. She is really nice and professional. I like and hate her at the same time. I hide behind her coach during session so she would not see my fear or fall for me.

How do I get over this?

 

[digger]

Perhaps by telling her what happened with your previous therapist would be a start so that she has the opportunity to reassure you that she is more professional than that and that that won't happen with her.

 

[TLight]

You need to take legal action against your old therapist..........that is ABUSE!

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Can you report her? She abused her power! If you report her she can't abuse anyone else!

 

[Abstract]

Gosh I am sorry to hear this happened to you. This therapist should not be practising and you are left with exactly the multi layed problems after that are known to happen from something like this.

It's very unfair you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I hope your T knows as without that it will make it much harder for her to help you.

If you work through this with your T then I am sure you find some healing.

Very angry on your behalf.

Would it help to check with your t to see if she belongs to an organisation and has a code of ethics? And if she has supervision. As a way of doing all you can to help you see this situation as safe.

 

[BloomInWinter]

How awful! She needs her license yanked.

We had a counselor do that to a college woman patient. It messed her up so bad. The administration was trying to sweep it under the rug so several of us banded together and told them to fire her or we'd go to the news.

She did get fired, but not reported to the police. The victim was too frightened to do that. Now, though, she's still practicing on the east coast.

It's a sick, sick therapist who does this. It's not your fault. I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

[Reds]

Thank you all, I am afraid of reporting her. It has been 6yrs already. At the same time I feel like I do not want to mess up her life and her losing her job because of me.

But I will talk about it with my current T as I have an appointment with her on Monday.

 

[TLight]

Mess up her life........or else she'll mess up others. Justice is not evil.

 

[Abstract]

Please only think of the repercussions for you when deciding what to do. There are many good reasons to report her including getting supervision and help in addressing her issues. Don't feel obliged though if it would cause a worsening of symptoms that would make things harder for you.

What she did was great betrayal of the trust placed in her and her position of authority. She needs to learn how to never do that again or not be practising. If you are not up to being the person to attempt to ensure that happens then that is OK too. This journey we are on is a difficult one.

 

[ms spock]

Please only think of the repercussions for you when deciding what to do. Don't feel obliged though if it would cause a worsening of symptoms that would make things harder for you.

I agree.

 

[Abstract]

Just went back to this thread because I was wondering how much you have told your new T about the past and it's effect on you. Do you see what you ex t did as abuse or how do you view it? If you feel OK to say. I am sure it must be hard to discuss.

 

[Reds]

@Abstract, I think that is the problem right there how do I classify it as abuse when I willingly got onto the relationship with her? She didn't force me, I made a decision as an adult to be with her. Maybe I am missing the point.

My current t believes it to be abuse as well, but I understand abuse as being forceful or unpleasant. I enjoyed being with my ex t even though the break up got me wounded. Do not get me wrong I will never date a t again in my life. And I do not have any sexual feelings for my current t.