Poll What Are Your Thoughts On Sarcasm As A Coping Skill For Ptsd?

[Philippa]

I recently made a comment in reaction to a meme that was posted onto my facebook page, which basically stated that people who use sarcasm have the healthiest brains, and I was of the opinion that sarcasm is aggression and anger thinly disguised and used as a weapon to put someone down, which indicated unhealthy and ineffective communicating.

I was met with quite a few replies, most of which disagreed...well, all did actually. :D

There was one woman who gave her input and admitted to having PTSD, and said that she uses sarcasm as a tool for healing, and also to teach critical thinking in her children. It got me wondering how many here think the same way and use sarcasm as a tool to heal with?

What are your individual opinions about sarcasm? Do you think it is the best form of humour? Do you find it to be the "lowest form of wit"? Do you think it is harmful or do you think it all depends on the intent in which it is used on others?

 

[jd9900]

Hello. I actually have some experience in this regard. Let's just say that...*thinks* ... Well, with PTSD, I use sarcasm and wit as a defense mechanism. I don't have to reveal to anyone how afraid I am, yet can convey in a snarky manner just what I think of them. I have sadly become very effective in communicating this way; a flaw I am working to fix.

As a PTSD sufferer, I have found that sarcasm affords me much of what I am looking for instinctively when I am triggered - it gives me a means of speaking without lying, as well as a means of not having to reveal my true emotions. It is a barrier for my fears.

I think people that do not suffer from PTSD and are also sarcastic do not use their sarcasm in this way. I think they just don't have the same fears I do, and are likely using it as sarcasm was truly intended...to be sarcastic, not to defend themselves (yes, I know I just defined a word with the same word, I don't sleep so well, please allow me some creative freedom. :) )

I find, with PTSD, my sarcasm is in no way helping me heal - it is usually a reaction to a trigger. It's actually a warning sign for me, that I am starting to lose whatever control I am trying to hold onto and starting to grasp wildly in the air.

 

[maddog]

I don't personally equate sarcasm with healing, nor do I necessarily relate it to PTSD in any specific way, other than as a form of humour, which can be a very effective coping and stress management strategy for anyone, PTSD sufferer or not.

As a form of humour, I think it has its place and is appropriate and effective if well placed and well timed. It works for some people, to whom it comes naturally, but can seem forced and cumbersome and potentially offensive when used by others, or in certain contexts. As with all forms of humour, I think its success/appropriateness lies in its intent. If it's designed to be nasty and condemning, it will probably come across this way. If it is designed to be witty and clever, and the person using it has a good grasp of the art form, then it will probably also hit its mark.

Like all forms of humour, it has a time and a place, and can fall flat and painfully when wrongly applied.

I am a huge fan of humour as a coping strategy, again, for all people, PTSD or not. I think well placed humour is a universal language of connection and friendliness that can break down many barriers and smooth many awkwardnesses in social contexts.

Maddog

 

[jd9900]

I definitely agree; I don't believe humor (humour, sorry, you must be from across the pond...:) ) is in any way bad. And with much humbleness, I find myself to be a humorous person. I do notice, though, when I go to sarcasm as my "humor outlet" if you will, it tends to be because I am...reacting. My sarcasm seems to be a protection mechanism. EDIT - when it comes to humor, it is vital that you know your audience, especially on web sites and whatnot, as the tone of your voice and body language cannot be read. This is something I have run into myself many times.

 

[Philippa]

Thankyou for your honest responses jd9900 and maddog.

I do think that perhaps I was condemning sarcasm as only being a way of putting someone down for saying something stupid or asking a stupid question. Some of the other commenters were saying that sarcasm is much needed to "let the idiots know they are idiots, so they can improve and become smarter" which I found to be a shaming method and misuse of sarcasm...as well as not an effective way of 'making someone become smarter' as it would only lower their self-esteem and cause them to avoid asking any questions in the future in case they were attacked again for it and made to look and feel stupid.

It seems to be that humans have a belief system that says that "If I am nasty to you, it's for your own good", which is a form of abuse in my opinion. In this context I think it is ineffective as a form of communicating. But as a source of humor it can definitely be a positive coping mechanism. I have no problem with that.

 

[jd9900]

I love your conclusions, Philippa. They have actually given me some things to consider that I hadn't.

 

[Philippa]

I'm so happy to hear that jd9900. :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. But my sarcasm sort of evolved into a very dry sense of humor. Which is odd because I hate a dry sense of humor in others. If that makes sense.

 

[Barberian]

If I use sarcasm, I try to make it a playful attempt at humor. I have to be careful, because I have very sharp, biting whit if I'm not careful, and can cut someone to the bone (figuratively). I spend a lot of time watching people, learning what makes them tick. This leads to an insight that can hurt before I realize what I've said.

 

[jd9900]

I used to be very vibrant when it came to my humor. Mostly because my humor stems from my storytelling. After my trauma I found I am much more reserved, and sarcasm is a way to still allow me to be funny without having to open myself up anymore. Basically, it is my way of maintaining my personality as best as I can before what happened and still try to be the person I want. It is exceedingly difficult to explain.

 

[Mayday]

As with all forms of humour, I think its success/appropriateness lies in its intent

Would agree with that. I use humour a lot, to deflect, to deal with things, to relax. Sometimes I don't use it appropriately, though usually I have enough insight to either realise just after I've said something if it was inappropriate. I don't think I use sarcasm so much, because I find it's more prone to being used passive aggressively, or maybe I'm just more prone to seeing it used that way.

 

[Abstract]

"let the idiots know they are idiots, so they can improve and become smarter" which I found to be a shaming method and misuse of sarcasm.

Agreed totally Philippa.

I think its success/appropriateness lies in its intent. If it's designed to be nasty and condemning, it will probably come across this way. If it is designed to be witty and clever, and the person using it has a good grasp of the art form, then it will probably also hit its mark.

Very well put MD and I agree.

When used as a reaction or defence sarcasm is passive aggressive. It can feel easier as it is less easy for the person on the receiving end to respond whilst still being aggressed. It is a sneaky way of putting a blow in that slightly ties the hands of the person on the receiving end in how they respond and therefore protects the aggressor. If the receiving person reacts then accusations of not having a sense of humour and being over sensitive are used or can be implied. Otherwise the person has to swallow the offence silently.

There are ways in which it can be used that are not aimed at belittling and swiping at others and in my mind those are the clever forms of it and I do appreciate them. I don't find aggressive sarcasm clever in any way and normally see it as a little cowardly and often manipulative. Not fond of manipulation personally.

So Philippa, I agree with a lot of what you say here. Particularly don't like anything aimed at causing shame and humiliation in others and I find that is the case fairly often. Humour as a coping mechanism is a wonderful thing though. Just not at the expense of someone else.

PS. Mayday, it is listed as a form of passive aggressive behaviour so you are right.