Turn a bad coping skill into a second income?

barefoot

Sponsor
I’m coming a bit late to this and see that you’ve already talked to your T about it. I think you’ve come up with a good approach together - it could be a healthier outlet than the sexting as long as not getting into re-enactments/things that reinforce negative cognitions etc,

I used to write erotic fiction for book anthologies but haven’t done so for about ten years. By the time I stopped, there was so much free - and often user generated - content that the genre was on its knees with very little new stuff being commissioned and numerous publishing imprints (even in big publishing houses) closing.

So, very little market at that point (I’m in the U.K. - the US market has always been bigger) and little money to be made. Even the more buoyant US market paid squirrel nuts.

And then there was 50 Shades! Which gave the genre a boost again and suddenly publishers/agents were on a mission to discover the next big name in erotic fiction and trying to ride the crest of the wave of this phenomenon.
Novel after novel was churned out...“if you liked 50 shades you’ll love this...!” Not sure whether it also reignited the short story market (the short story in any genre is a struggling form)

I think it sounds worth a go - to see if writing can be a more healthy outlet for you.

And I agree with @Friday - if you’re going to write it for publication, you may as well try to get it published rather than pay yourself to self-publish.

I guess my word of caution would be: you’re probably not going to make much money out of it. If any. (And if you self-publish you may end up being at a loss) Not trying to be negative or not encouraging - but as you were talking about this as a second income stream, I think where you set your expectations is important.

And, I know I’ve been out of that for a number of years so I may not be up to speed - perhaps pay/opportunity is now increased. I suspect not. But, if I’m wrong, hopefully someone can post with more up-to-date info.

And also to echo @Friday ‘s post - if you go the publishing rather than self-publishing road, be prepared to not get read/not hear back/receive rejection. If that might be difficult to deal with, may be not the best idea!

Final thing - even publishing under a pseudonym May feel vulnerable/a bit exposing. Even if there’s just one editor who you write for and have to communicate eith...that one person knows you a) have these thoughts and b) you think they’re at least potentially erotic. That was always a bit of a strange feeling for me! I guess I’m just meaning, if you go down this road, you may find unexpected triggers along the way that aren’t necessarily about the content itself. So just something to be aware of/try to predict where those points may come in the process.

Keen to hear whether you give it a go. If you do, I hope you enjoy. It can be fun! ?
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
@barefoot thank you for the input. For now I am writing and seeing what comes out. I will see if there is anything that I want to send out for rejection/publication after I have 20-30 stories under my belt. In terms of a second income stream I don't expect to make thousands of dollars I would be happy to make enough to pay my monthly mani/pedi habit so less than a hundred a month would be cool.
 

RussellSue

Not Active
@FauxLiz, I saw an ad today for erotica writers on Indeed. If you are still interested in this, it may be worth looking at. The title is Sales- Erotica Writers, it is a remote position and it was posted today. It is commission-based, so not real high paying and may be plain crap, but since it was for erotica writers, it made me think of this thread.
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
@FauxLiz, I saw an ad today for erotica writers on Indeed. If you are still interested in this, it may be worth looking at. The title is Sales- Erotica Writers, it is a remote position and it was posted today. It is commission-based, so not real high paying and may be plain crap, but since it was for erotica writers, it made me think of this thread.
Thanks I will check it out!
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
To me this sounds normal. Like this is how I am and how I’ve always been. I wrote just the other day about making money with “how I am”. I saw the erotic writer ads too, having been searching the internet for years about making money from home. Hope you are feeling ok. I should ad I’m generalising, my exact behavior is different . The overall theme is the same. : )
 
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FauxLiz

Sponsor
@Mach123 thanks for the support. I haven't made any money at it yet but the writing does keep me from taking the ideas/thoughts out of my head and into the real world. I am still polishing my stories. 2020 was a tough year for me in a lot of ways not just the pandemic but struggles and now almost complete divestment from my family of origin. It would be nice to make extra money exercising my demons on paper rather than on myself.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Coming back to this because it really interests me and I'm really hoping you do well with it!

This is one of my questions/concerns to an extent I would need to have someone hold me accountable limiting the number or length of the stories
If you write for publications, they will provide a limit on the length and number of stories you can submit. For me, this is a very good way to keep my writing tight and not get crazy with the length.
- First win = getting a form letter back, meaning it was good enough to actually reject, rather than just moving onto the next piece in the slush pile.
Most of the writers I know - both starting out and well-known - hate rejection letters. Writers often struggle with low esteem (with regard to their writing) and a pile of rejection letters doesn't say "wow, this is great. At least they read it." It's demoralizing for many. And I am friends with several national and international award-winning writers. It's the same for all of them.
I DO know that very very few publishers accept unsolicited manuscripts these days.
As I mentioned earlier, this list is growing. There's an email list for subscription that lists these every once-in-a-while. It's called Authors Publish Magazine.
Even if you become obsessed with it and the sexual nature is above and beyond whatever that is considered healthy, I think if you can put into words, make a story and make a living out of it as an artist or as an author, you will no longer be considered having this as issue (except as you see yourself) or maladaptive . There are a lot of amazing artists, authors, intellectual who do weird things and make their weird (or result of abuse) or fetish or whatever into livelihood. Your post sort of reminded me Dali and Anaïs Nin, both were sort of freakish artist and writer about erotic and sometimes weird sexual escapades.
Really well said. And I completely agree.
if you’re going to write it for publication, you may as well try to get it published rather than pay yourself to self-publish.
I think you must mean "get it [traditionally] published?" Because self- or hybrid publishing is true publishing and it is gaining acceptance more and more each day. I have a book that's finished and one that is almost done, and I have decided to self-publish one and use a publishing service for the other. I am a licensed publisher with a press, so have a little bit of knowledge about what's available and am learning more all the time. I also belong to several writers and editors groups - I'd love to have my stuff published traditionally, but it's very difficult and requires a lot more strength than I have. I don't handle repeated rejections very well, and you really have to if you decide to go traditional. Traditional publishing is the way to go if you can, but you have to be aware of the pitfalls. And, of course, you can always try traditional, and if it doesn't work out, go the self-publishing route.
For now I am writing and seeing what comes out. I will see if there is anything that I want to send out for rejection/publication after I have 20-30 stories under my belt. In terms of a second income stream I don't expect to make thousands of dollars I would be happy to make enough to pay my monthly mani/pedi habit so less than a hundred a month would be cool.
This is awesome! Be sure if you decide to publish (whatever way) to work with an editor beforehand. Having a second pair of eyes to help pick up inconsistencies and grammar/punctuation is invaluable. It will make your work more attractive to readers.
I haven't made any money at it yet but the writing does keep me from taking the ideas/thoughts out of my head and into the real world. I am still polishing my stories. 2020 was a tough year for me in a lot of ways not just the pandemic but struggles and now almost complete divestment from my family of origin. It would be nice to make extra money exercising my demons on paper rather than on myself.
Keep at it! I'm excited for you!
 
I have not found any other form of exercise that gives me the mind-body connection that running gives me which fills that need.
Try swimming - I mean lap swimming. Get good at it, learn technique stroke and do it regularly. You'll recapture that endorphin rush. That's what I'm doing and it doesn't screw my joints or body over while I'm in there. Plus plenty of 'thinking' time while you're doing it.
earn some money would you?
Yes. I would. But as others have said - the market is awash with writers trying to make money too. However, like all things, a bit of luck, a lot of rejections and catching the eye of just the right person could mean you will have a second income stream for the little luxuries you like to have.

Best of luck.
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
Try swimming - I mean lap swimming. Get good at it, learn technique stroke and do it regularly. You'll recapture that endorphin rush. That's what I'm doing and it doesn't screw my joints or body over while I'm in there. Plus plenty of 'thinking' time while you're doing it.

Yes. I would. But as others have said - the market is awash with writers trying to make money too. However, like all things, a bit of luck, a lot of rejections and catching the eye of just the right person could mean you will have a second income stream for the little luxuries you like to have.

Best of luck.
@blackemerald1 I wish that I could but I am 40 miles from the closest indoor or outdoor public swimming pool for that matter. It is currently 14 degrees with a 5 degree wind chill (all Fahrenheit) and though there are lakes nearby they are all frozen solid.
 
Okay well I don't know what facilities are around any forum member so it was a suggestion.

When the pool is not viable for me, I have a bicycle on a trainer in my living room in front of the telly. I hop on it and do an hour to get my legs moving and catch up on something on the telly.

That means no fees, no facing the elements no risk from covid and not much outlay for equipment. Is that an option for at least getting some cardio ex in?

ATE: Also on yt there are some very, very good Tai Chi instructors who give entire sessions for free. For me that's better than yoga and it builds strength and balance without high impact. Over time and with regular practice it's quite good for your body.
 

FauxLiz

Sponsor
Okay well I don't know what facilities are around any forum member so it was a suggestion.

When the pool is not viable for me, I have a bicycle on a trainer in my living room in front of the telly. I hop on it and do an hour to get my legs moving and catch up on something on the telly.

That means no fees, no facing the elements no risk from covid and not much outlay for equipment. Is that an option for at least getting some cardio ex in?

ATE: Also on yt there are some very, very good Tai Chi instructors who give entire sessions for free. For me that's better than yoga and it builds strength and balance without high impact. Over time and with regular practice it's quite good for your body.
I do get some cardio in by doing 30 min to an hour with a recumbent bike in front of the TV currently, but that doesn't take to urge/desire for human contact away. Nor does it resolve the thoughts that still go through my head that scream I deserved it, I wanted it, It is what like, who I am. Also, writing stories keeps me from reaching out and acting on my negative coping skills that I struggle to keep under control when I feel like the rest of my life is out of control and completely overwhelming.
 
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