Thinking About Going Back To College

[Lady of Longbourn]

I am thinking of going back for Spring 2014. I am doing so much better with medication this time around, I feel that maybe going to school is possible when before it wasn't. It's been a year since I last went and I dropped out of that semester becasue of my depression and anxiety symptoms.

So I feel excited about maybe going but then worried I'll mess it all up again. I have about a month to decided if I want to go for the spring or not.

School can really get my symptoms up fast. It's not always very predictable, it's stressful, you have to talk with people but I still really like it despite all that. Then I also will get very competitive with my grades and everything else has to be perfect and that really sets me up because it makes my anxiety worse.

And then it feels so good be there, to learn, to be apart of something. To get that A, to talk with the other students. I can always take just one class, with my favorite teacher and see how that goes.

I just have to be mentally healthy enough for it all. That's the big question right there, if I am ready this year to try again.

Disability services really help too, so I'll have to contact them if I decide to attend.

How do you know if you are ready?

 

[Rissy215]

I think it's fantastic you want to go back to school and I really hope it's a positive experience for you when you do! I think part of 'being ready' is wanting to, if that makes any sense. I'm battling something similar with going back to work. I think I'm making progress though because I'm questioning how I'll know when I'm ready, which is good, but I'm not ready. I started a list this weekend of how I'd know when I was ready and even though I'm done with school I decided to find a class I could audit this Spring and see how it goes. I think it'll help keep my brain from turning to mush, be a positive distraction, and allow me to try to re-socialize without a ton of pressure on me. I think (and my therapist and doctors agree) that if I go back to work before I'm ready I'll hurt my career. It makes sense but I feel like I just need something productive in my life so I'm hoping auditing a class will give me that sense of productivity and help me regain my life. I have significant non-mental health issues that are holding me back as well but most of my physical symptoms are worsened by PTSD and anxiety so I'm really focusing on getting those under control and I think the rest will be manageable enough for me to go back to work with.

 

[Ghostybear73]

School can be a great distraction. I think its great that you are at least thinking about it. It sounds to me that you are ready just by reading your posts. Remember, there should be a drop period if you start to feel too overwhelmed and it sets off triggers for you and its just too much. What type of degree are you looking to get?

 

[EverOnly358]

I think you sound really excited and hopeful and you should go for it! I think it will be good in regards to PTSD - it will be getting out, doing something you love, and you'll be motivated to work at controlling your symptoms. Maybe prepare in advance... figure out *exactly* how you'll deal with some of the stresses that pop up. Figure out ways you'll take extra good care of yourself. And maybe... I don't know... relax a little about the straight A's (this is so utterly ridiculous coming from me :confused: ;)... I'm so obsessive and competitive and a perfectionist... or I *was*, I'm working on it). Just go to learn and enjoy and try to take as much pressure off yourself as possible. That's what I think. I envy you, I wish I could go to college.

 

[Reds]

I think you should go back to school, it can be really hard but I also believe you'll make it. Early this year I went back to complete my degree and it was really hard, my t helped me a lot. At times I would panic so much that I'd miss tests and she'd contact the university for me. She supported me so much that at times we used the sessions to discuss school work that was frustrating me. I manage to complete and graduated in September.

I think if you have all the support you need you'll make it. So I say go back and get those A's

 

[Rissy215]

That's great, @Reds! Congratulations!

 

[DMerish]

Ayesha,

I think your aim of going back to school is fabulous! It is tough, even for folks without PTSD. IMHO I think it's tougher than having a job. However, it's great way to stretch yourself and add to one's positive self esteem. My only suggestion is to be involved at the level that you feel you have a reasonable expectation that you'll be able to handle it. I had to do it over several years - sometimes one class at a time. Not only because of my PTSD but needing to work and raise my children. Nevertheless, I did it. It was a great experience, very rewarding, and helped to lift my insecurities. Good luck to you!

Drew

 

[FindingMyself88]

I think it is great that you are wanting to go back to school! There is nothing like showing yourself that you can do it! I myself am struggling through right now. In the spring I'm considering taking only 7 hours instead of the normal 12-15.

May I ask you a question? In what ways did disability services help you? I'm thinking about talking to them myself.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

@FindingMyself88,

Every case is different. There is a long list of *possible* accommodations that are available but your doctor must back up any accommodation you request. I am permitted time and a half on tests, I can take all tests in the testing center, my instructors know I may need a break from class if my anxiety is high, and I'm allowed to take notes on my laptop if I so desire. Ayesha's accommodations may be completely different depending on her symptoms.

My advisor in the disability center helps if I'm having issues with a class or instructor. My instructors, for the most part, have been understanding but I did have one who expected advanced notice of any issues and refused to help when I was falling behind because of my symptoms. He said he already accommodated me according to my plan and wouldn't go any further. He was an arse and I dropped the class (it was a review class and I didn't need the credit).

 

[Candleflames]

I have to say that you sound both excited and very thoughtful in your post. You have some really great ideas of how you can make it work for you which, to me, shows you are contemplating this is a very good head space. I'm glad the new medication is helping you feel like you might be able to do this now.

It's reasonable to expect that going back to school is going to change things, that is after all the point. It'd be nice if only positive changes occur and that might just be the case for you this time around. It's still a good idea to think about how it might push up any symptoms so you can ready a game plan to deal with them. It might not and just being ready for the negative might just keep the symptoms in check. You have a whole month to come up with some techniques to deal with the "just-in-case."

As for how to know if you are ready, I don't know that we can until we actually try. I think that there are some good indications, from this and other posts, that you probably are ready. I know it's scary, I just applied myself but all the best successes start with a little trepidation. Please don't let the unpredictable nature of life stop you. If we let that stop us from one thing then it'll be another and another until our world is very small.

If you find it's is still too much, then what? The world will not end and you will not end. You will not have failed but you will have learned something valuable about caring for yourself. You will take some time, make some adjustments and try again!!! I've had to do that a few times. Still doing it too.

 

[therisa]

@Ayesha, you will never realize, how proud, I am reading this post of your. I wish I was healthy enough to go back to university, again, and get another degree, which would increase my chances of getting a job.

Here, are a few thoughts, you might want to think about, when you start university/college, again. Instead of attending classes, in person, you can take them, over the Internet, through distant learning programs, which would eliminate some of your anxiety triggers. Definitely, contact the special needs office, as @Solara mentioned, they are very helpful. Start small, in the number of courses, you enroll in, until you find your comfort level, regarding workload and stress. A lesson, I had to learn the hard way, as I dealt with my learning disabilities and mental health concerns.

Either way, good luck, Ayesha, on your winter enrollment or next fall.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I looked up my favorite teacher in the college so far. She is teaching my 2nd required English course so I will probably take her class. The timings are perfect for my schedule. She is also teaching a fun class 45 minutes after that and I remember her talking about it last year but I don't remember the details so I am thinking of and working on the courage to email her and ask her becasue there doesn't seem to be a description.

Last night I was trying to sleep and I suddenly got really worried. I remembered what we had been learning before I had to leave the class and I got really worried. Worried that I didn't understand or couldn't do it. I had to calm myself down and remind myself that it's been almost a whole year since then.

So my plan is to take the English course, which is 3 credits and maybe that fun class which is only one. I have the materials for the class already. Maybe just a new planner or something.

I also started looking into study books, helpful books about college to help me manage my time a bit better, study better. Reading usually helps.