Sufferer Hi,recently Diagnosed After Violent Attack

[Attheseams]

Hi, this is all very new to me. I was attacked by 5 people 1 year ago, I haven't been myself for sometime and have been referred for CBT. I am normally the leaning post for my wife and others. Feeling confused and little isolated as I don't want how I feel to affect my family.

 

[InsideAWord]

I know it's rough especially when you don't want your PTSD to affect your family. I'm actually facing that battle right now, especially since I'm in a household that just wants my PTSD to go away. The feelings of guilt don't ever help the PTSD.

You're not alone. Welcome to the forum.

 

[gone]

Welcome @Attheseams. Sorry to hear of your struggle. Believe me, I don't know the answer, but I have a feeling that the energy spent trying to "protect" your family might be energy taken away from the work you'll be doing trying to dial the PTSD down from 11 (which might just make everything take longer). It also potentially robs you of support from people who might really want to support you, even in some small way, at this time...? Sorry if this is way off base. At any rate, you're among likeminds here.

 

[macca]

Welcome to the forum. I know I've worried very much about the same thing - affecting my family. Especially if I've been triggered and they've witnessed it - that feels unbearable. One thing that's helped is everyone having more understanding of what's going on. For this, I thoroughly recommend an article on here under the Articles tab - "Understanding PTSD". Another thing I realised - I would affect them much more if I wasn't seeking treatment, so you are doing everything you can. If you're used to being the "strong one" it can feel weird as well - but it's ok to lean on others. You are human!

 

[Barconian]

It's hard to lean on others

 

[macca]

Yes, I agree @Barconian it's very hard to lean on others. Here I am giving out that advice, but have trouble following it. :banghead:

 

[intothelight]

Hi Attheseams,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

One of the harder aspects of dealing with PTSD is that concern that a person is no longer able to function as they did before and it gets all tied up with feelings of failure and/or worthlessness in regard to our families and those around us. Forgive me if I am off topic, as I am making some assumptions at this point that those may be some of the issues that you are dealing with.

If a person was in an accident and broke both their legs and arms, they would be out of commission for a while and have to depend upon their family to a greater degree. The problem is, when dealing with a mental disorder, there tends to be a lot of "shame" associated with it and that only makes the matter worse.

Having PTSD is no different than any other illness. You need to focus on recovery and recovery is a realistic goal. Honest and open communication is the best way to address the concerns, especially with a spouse. Let them make their own decision and allow them the personal growth of being supportive and taking on different responsibilities. It doesn't have to be a negative thing and can be very positive and draw people closer in the long run.

I hope you find the information and support here beneficial.

Debbie

 

[Attheseams]

Thank you all very much for the replies. I absolutely agree that the energy used in trying to keep this all under wraps would be better focused on working towards self healing ,but as a dad it is a very hard habit to break.

As to what my feelings are , to be honest how ,why and what I feel is all very confusing . I have no clarity to my thoughts and seem to just feel everything at once and as my title at times feel I am falling apart at the seams, and try as I do I can't rationalize any of it, but certainly as regards to my family I do feel embarrassed,weak and worthless as if I can't protect myself how can I protect them.

I would never have dreamt that I would be sat here typing this ,but as you say it is a huge help to be among like minded people who understand what I am saying. I am sure that this forum will help me. Thanks again so much for the welcome and I likewise will here for you all also.

 

[macca]

I have no clarity to my thoughts and seem to just feel everything at once

This is common among PTSD sufferers I think. When I finally saw a therapist, and she asked me at the end of that first session what I hoped to get from coming to therapy - "clarity" was one of the most important things for me, for the reasons you mention. I was sick of being confused and messed up.

 

[Attheseams]

Thanks macca, that is exactly it. I have home from been measured, and very stable to been completely mixed up messed up,angry confused really low feeling very isolated. So many feelings and things buzzing around that you don't know where to start. I have had one meet with a therapist and she has referred me for CBT and I said the same no clarity. I'm sure it will come back in time.