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Lionheart777
I Have major issue with disassociating during the skills group. I was being triggered from school. The pressure to get it right and the people there asking me continuously if I even I wanted to be there.
I've had major problems regarding disassociating in groups. It is still my least safe place. Overall, the group experience amplifies every member's anxiety, in relationship to their past history in groups-families, schools, churches, etc. For this reason, groups are intense and require a skill set of safety and emotional regulation, to tolerate them.
The best therapy needs to build upon and start with situations where you demonstrate you can associate. Your own wisdom, that groups are triggering, is a sign to me that you may do well to back off from groups, for the time being. In the future, you can always expand your comfort zone into groups by gradually putting yourself, for the time you can tolerate, in groups of 3. Make sure to have one of those people be familiar and safe, to you.
I have been getting triggered while in the skill group for weeks. When I first started the meditation was the one thing I could do with out making my situation worse.
This is a good awareness-a place of safety, and a place to start. Meditations can be a time when the group energy tones down, and can be less triggering. Keep slowly playing with your edge, in your own timing. As pointed out earlier, you can taylor learning DBT in a way that works for you; maybe self-instruction and private therapy.
I got so angry at this stuff I no longer practice as much as I should. I no longer even like to open the book. I have gained some new things from this therapy but nothing seems to help when I am triggered.
Yep, there are times like that. Give ourself a break! Do what you need to do, to create safety, so you move into your equilibrium. It is this walk, of noticing, of feeling, and taking appropriate actions, that are at the heart of DBT. You are doing it, you see, already. This is significant. It may go unnoticed by most, because they haven't started where you started.
One of the reasons DBT has a group component is that
many people with BPD often like to socialize, in addition to it being a setting to help practice self-regulation while dealing with other people. I've noticed for many people with PTSD, including myself, that socializing and being in groups is the least comfortable situation, hence it is often the last skill set to develop.
Lastly, intelligent people (inclusive of all people with all diagnosis') can be challenged by DBT because, these intelligent/ left-brain developed individuals aren't use to 'not' being able to solve a problem quickly-with their mind, alone. DBT, Mindfulness, emotional regulation are MINDBODY and emotional/intellectual/somatic processes; they have a very different time line-their own. You are tending to this integrative process, already. Progress will come, even though it seems impossibly slow, at first. As you practice non-judgement of your process, and develop patience with the timing of emotional relearning, you may begin to have more experiences of success. The benefits are worth it and they will help you, for the rest of your days; you'll be able to open up realities that you wish to embody.
When I started this process, and was frustrated, I'd often default to negative self-talk, like you mentioned. At some point, I came upon some friends who helped me learn to laugh, appreciatively (like helping a child turn make light of a mistake), at myself. Playing 'I Love Lucy' with myself, in 'over the edge' moments, is added to other re-balancing skills, like relaxing, breathing, and noticing, that I practice.
Thanks for you post and this discussion!
