It Happened. Now What?

[Abstract]

Darn. How do feel about this now? Do you want to go through your options? Well done for phoning.

 

[Abstract]

Just wondering still if they are more likely to give into your request if you have someone with you advocating for you. Although I have to say I am amazed as you seem to be doing a great job of advocating for yourself.

Does anyone know how long one has after to do an exam?

 

[mytai]

Can you contact your T in the morning? Or even tonight?

I can email her tonight, or phone/email her in the morning. Honestly what can she do though? I have my appointments for the next month booked with her. I see her January 3rd.

How do feel about this now? Do you want to go through your options?

Honestly it really leaves me with two options still, don't go, or go and take the risk of wasting my own time and theirs if I end up needing to leave.

I don't know how long you have after to do one.

 

[TwoDee2ThreeDee]

Honestly what can she do though

I guess I was hoping she could go with you but I don't know how realistic an option that is for you.

 

[mytai]

I guess I was hoping she could go with you but I don't know how realistic an option that is for you.

If that is something she would do I would take it. I don't want to ask her to go with me. I guess I'm afraid of asking and her saying no she can't do that.

 

[Abstract]

It looks like you have 72 hours but that going in after that could still give some benefit. Obviously the earlier the more likely they are to get more out of it.

Do you think you could get yourself to go in and see what happens from there? How would you be going alone or what are your thoughts on this?

I totally understand what you are saying about your t! I think its probably rare for a t to go in like this. Do you think you could email her just to tell her what has happened?

 

[mytai]

@Abstract Thanks for the information.

I can try to psyche myself up to go and see what happens. I don't know how I would be going alone. It's pretty much how I've done everything in regards to doing something up until this point. But I've never gone in for an exam before, it's a whole new level of scary for me.

I would also assume it is pretty rare for a T to accompany someone. Honestly, emailing her when she can't do anything to help me at this point seems more like torturing myself. She can't really offer me a whole ton of support via email.

 

[Abstract]

I would feel the same about the t. It would be too painful for me. I wonder if you can set up some support for afterwards for you though to keep you safe? Could you stay with a friend or family member? Would asking your t for a cancellation appointment earlier if she gets one feel too much?

No pressure but what about asking if someone at victims support can go with you? @mytai

 

[Abstract]

The other thing I was thinking about is that I think I would be better going in as early as possible as the delayed backlash tends to set in stronger and stronger the more time that passes.

I hope you can do lots of nice calming things for yourself too. Eat something nourishing. Maybe some chicken soup and bread and butter. Maybe do some relaxation exercises.

 

[Abstract]

Going to sleep a little but will check in on you when I wake up. Have a think about what support you can set up while you go in and after. Sending you much support and comfort. You are doing really well.

 

[HelenB]

Just wanted to let you know I have been thinking of you and am so glad you made it safey home and hope you have been able to make some decision about how you are going to go forwards. In terms of the exam I was just thinking that I know it would be such a hard thing, but know for me that if I could talk and feed into myself reassurance that this was safe and was to stop the same thing happening again, it would probably help to bring more safety and make it more possible to deal with it. I know you say you would only deal with it if you could be knocked out, but for me I think being knocked out would be hard as there would be no way I could feed into myself that I am safe and now in control as being knocked out I would not be able to have control. That said I would still be able to feed in the reality that the Dr's are safe and that I would be allowing myself to be put in their safe hands, and really hope you are able to go and be able to trust them and also that you are able I find someone who may be able to go with you.

In terms of your therapist I know that they would be unlikely to be able to go with you, but personally I would probably ask, because as long as I expected them to say no I do not think it would negatively effect me if they did as I would be what I expected, but if they did agree it would be so good and would seem to be worth checking. I do not know how you would take it if you asked and she did say no, but wonder if you should consider it and wonder if it would be worth the risk for the benefits which could come from it.

I do hope you have been able to have a better night tonight and that you really can feed in some safety to yourself and treat yourself as you deserve in this time as it is all settling, as I know for me that is when it is most likely to all hit.

God bless
Helen

 

[mytai]

I decided to take the risk and try and go. I tried to ask the nurse who was registering me but they said only the doctor could give me that answer. So I waited for the doctor to come around, and I asked him. He told me the most they could do was give me anti-anxiety drugs but not knock me out for it. He left to go get a nurse, and then I left the hospital. I couldn't make myself stay, started to panic too much.

As for cancellation appointments @Abstract the reason my first appointment with her isn't until Jan 3 is for two reasons. One she is booked solid until then (but usually she has cancellations), and two I work everyday until I go away for New Years for 3 days. Then the first day I'm back I see my T.

I haven't contacted my T yet. Still not sure if I will ahead of time or just wait until I see her at my next appointment.

I am having another hard time sleeping. Stuck in nightmares where I am trying to escape but I can't get away and I'm being hurt. It's 5am here, and I'm trying to fall back asleep for a few more hours before I have to get up and get ready for work. Not doing well at all right now. I feel overwhelmed with very strong emotions that I can't seem to name, but I can't cry to release any of it. It is just building up inside me like a shaken pop bottle.