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I will get last it though, after all she is human like me and just as imperfect and flawed. I expect way too much of her in that aspect. We all have our transgressions, it's up to me to decide how I let it affect me.I am very sorry to hear that. It does make it totally different. I think when trust is difficult then someone doing something like that is hard to get past.
Thank you all for the support. I know that I have a long and tough road ahead of me. I have to work today, my job is on shaky ground too but I think I'm going to talk to hr and see if I can take time off. I've always been the breadwinner and right now it's hard to do that. I contacted a therapist last night.