What Helps You Get Through Your Bad Days

[trappedinlife]

Ive been having a lot of bad days lately. I feel as if I am in a deep deep hole that im never going to get out of. Everything is such an effort to and I just dont enjoy much in life anymore.

What helps you get through your bad days and make everything seem like its all going to be okay.

I'm trying to be strong but I dont know how much more I can handle but I am waiting to get on some new meds and im hoping they will help me.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Hi Brooke.

I feel that way too, but everytime I do, things get better again afterwards. Even if they only get slightly better, almost unnoticeably better. It's handy to keep a diary to keep track of your mood. I had one app for iphone, mood-tracker. It helps you see that there are really really bad days, and then really bad days, and "just bad" days. It's not always the same, but we tend to forget that when all of our days are bad.

I hope you get your new medication fast. So far it has been helping me. What also helps is having some kind of routine where you just care for yourself without struggling against it, you become like a good parent to yourself... I'm not sure what is bothering you, I seek distractions in videogames and series. Also it is important to have some professional help at your side and somebody to talk to, a friend or relative.

If I come across as vague right now, I blame it on the meds ;)

 

[digger]

Letting the little things count helps me get through the bad days. By this I mean letting the things that make even the smallest of smiles flicker on your face for moment have value and recognising small achievements as achievements nonetheless.

Achieve one thing - I might for example write a list of things that need doing in the house and if I manage one of them, even if it's just washing the bloody dishes, it is one thing that I got done.

Small things that might make you smile, write them down maybe so you can go back to them if you can't remember in the darker moments so you have memories to make you smile too.

Walking helps me to, but it is hard sometimes to make myself go out. When you are having a better moment it might be a good idea to write down some of the things you know make you feel a little better, so you have them to refer to when you need them.

 

[Barconian]

Keep looking for ways to dig out of your hole even when you are at your worst... In time it will start to happen and learn patience

 

[macca]

I've been in that hole recently too. Today I feel a little better. It's like Bilbo in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug *Spoiler Alert* when Bilbo climbs that tree out of the stifling, frightening forest and feels the sun and fresh air on his face. He's not out of the forest, in fact he isn't out of danger yet, but it was one moment when he could just breathe... That's kind of how I'm thinking of the PTSD - there's so much to go through yet, but I'm taking this breath and enjoying it while I can.

 

[Tympre]

My way out of the pit is a wide variety of things, none of which work all the time. First is to focus on the little sucesses and happy things. I usualy greet people with 'It's a Beautiful Day", regardless of the weather, because the weather is free to act as it will, it is no controlled by anyone. Yet. I craft alot usually 4-6 hours a day. Currently I crochet, and I am pretty good at it. Other times I quilt, or cross stitch. I find keeping my hands busy witout over tasking my attention very relaxing and at then end I can visibly see my work or progress. I like to do aerobic excersize for at least a hour three times a week. Currently I utilize the elliptical at my job's gym. I push till I pour sweat and it is cleansing to me. I play online games to escape for a bit or watch a movie. I play with my kids, either crafting, or rough house normally, but I do some pretend play. I write my spouse a love letter, thanking him for all the wonderful things he does for me.I could go one, but you get the point. Despite having a lengthy list to use I still have a very difficult time even inching my way out of the pit. Most of the time if I get in the pit, I feel like a inchworm trying to scale the sides back out.

 

[zaniara]

Achieve one thing - I might for example write a list of things that need doing in the house and if I manage one of them, even if it's just washing the bloody dishes, it is one thing that I got done.

I agree with everything digger said. To let the small things count was a very good thought: I hadn't thought about it like that. I tend to be pretty self-critical, and shame my self for a lot of things. (Doh! Part of the PTSD-shit as well: results from all the abuse: shame and taking over the abusers way of viewing life/me/things.) The advice about making lists can really help me a bit as well. Not too long lists. Just one for the day. And then struggle to do at least some of the things on it. Making it very simple, and trying to make it realistic. Sinking into passivity doesn't help me, unless I am crying real tears(not the depressed ones or the feel-sorry-for-my-self-ones) and grieving. Then I might need to lay down/sit down and cry and let go of everything else. (But I rarely cry like that: I think I've only done it a handful of times the last year.)

Sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. I'm having bad days my self right now, but it's more of a emotional flashbacks than depression, so I really need to try to make those lists, and get through one day at a time. And sometimes one minute at a time. Try to relax, breathe, do what I can to get through the day. Painting can help me when the anxiety is at it's worst. Or writing(sometimes). Trying to call a friend. (But talking doesn't always help me.) Going for a walk if I can get my self through the door. (Not much right now.) Doing yoga. Etc. Etc. There can be many ways: and some work sometimes, and not other times, so it's good trying to make a list of them and remind one self of what one can do to try to help one self.

Is there some things that can make you feel a bit better for a while? Is there someone you can ask for comfort from? Is there any activities that make you feel a bit better? Can you talk comforting to your self? Do you have a therapist?

 

[digger]

Not too long lists. Just one for the day. And then struggle to do at least some of the things on it

I think this is quite key, that you don't necessarily make it your goal to complete everything on the list. Your goal can be to check one thing of the list. If you manage more - bonus! :)


**edit to add**
The other thing with lists I found especially helpful when I have been physically unable to do much as well as mentally not feeling up to it, is to break things down into smaller bites. So instead of writing say 'clean kitchen' on the list, I would break it down into the smaller individual jobs that needed doing in the kitchen to make it a clean kitchen...
And add self care things to the list like 'take a break' ;)

 

[zaniara]

to check one thing of the list. If you manage more - bonus! :)

Exactly. And I use a read or colorful pen to check them off the list when they're done. That make me feel some sense of pride for at least achieving one thing. (Yes I'm pretty childish.. :D )

 

[LilBit]

I am a supporter, not a sufferer. But I am a compulsive list maker. The day I realized how bad was when my lead (supervisor) at work started revising my list!! The first time I found my list with a DO THIS FIRST on it at the top I cracked up. I do it at home and at work when I had that job. I try to always put the most important item or the first stop on my trip first. Or just make the list bare necessities, that way I won't get discouraged. But yes, it thrills me to cross stuff off!!

 

[Seasounds]

In a slump, I:

• Let myself write about any feelings I'm experiencing.
• Spend time with a friend.
• Take an hour walk.
• Watch a funny movie.
• Make an extra appointment with my therapist or psychiatrist.
• Do relaxation techniques and meditate.
• Stretch my muscles through doing yoga.
• Take a bubble or sea salt bath.
• Turn on music that relaxes me, or that I like to dance to.
• Go to an Alanon meeting.
• Sing-asong that changes my mood.
• Remind myself that, moods and perceptions shift. "This to shall pass."

 

[AlamedaSunshine]

I'm learning no matter if nothing bad is going on in my "day to day" life I STILL have triggers/flashback/anxiety and night sweats. WHY does this happen? I hate that I cannot control this.

So I totally relate to your feeling :sorry: