Passing Judgment on Severity of Symptoms

[Eagle]

Kathy,

Thanks for this post. I really like how you stated this point which is an important one. I would add that sometimes a person can be very well controlled symptom wise for long periods of time and then have a traumatic memory surface that can put them is very great distress. Severe symptoms can persist for long periods of time. I appreciate your point.

Eagle

 

[hodge]

One more thing about the work issue. I would LOVE to work right now. If I had a choice, I would totally be working right now. But I don't have a choice, that's the point. . . .

I am in same boat right now. Except that I was fortunate to be able to work for many years until my symptoms got this bad. Now I fall apart if I have to go one place a day and have to rest for a few hours. And I used to work at home!

Does everyone here know that more than 60% of all homeless people are mentally ill? Do we say those people have a choice to work or not? Some very insensitive people might. But most realize those people are very ill and don't have a choice.

Excellent point. This is true in the U.S. as well. In fact, the percentage may be even higher than 60% here.

I don't believe not being able to work at the moment is a reflection of my character or lack thereof, I'm simply not capable of it for now and I accept my limitations. It's a goal I hope to achieve in the future though.

Thanks for expressing how I feel so well.

We've been living on my severance, which will end this month. If I can't get some arrangement on unemployment or disability, I don't know how we're going to make it on my husband's earnings. I'm still going to try to do some really pretty small freelance projects and pray I can do enough to help keep us afloat for a few more months. But as for a normal type of freelance commitment or job? I can't handle it. Maybe with the right meds, eventually, but for now I am accepting my limitations. I have no choice about that. And, yes, I hate admitting that. But it's the truth.

 

[anthony]

I do keep saying to you Hope..... you should be an editor here.

 

[becvan]

Anthony... would you be willing to summarize, what you said in your first post?

I just want to make sure I understood it right, as I've read it a few times.. and could see a few different angles.. but I'm not totally sure which ones your driving at?

Hope you wouldn't mind clarifying?

bec

 

[anthony]

I think I'm going to just write that ebook I am thinking about writing, outlining the simplistic facts from the birth of PTSD to learning how to cope with it.... a job for next year.

 

[becvan]

Okay.. I gotta ask this?

Am I wrong here? Is my thinking skewed or off kilter somehow?

I really thought.. that comparing symptoms is mean, rude and insensitive. Whether it's I have severe PTSD so you can't understand me if you have mild, or the other way around, it's just not going to work.

It hurts people's feelings, it alienates us from each other.

This thread was not and is not about work. That was an example. That was pulled out of the air. It was not specific. It was not aimed at one person. If it was.. I would have named and quoted that person. Or I would have quoted many people. My point is, this is not a personal attack on you She Cat. And it's not about just work. It's about all of it.


My point is the us against them.. mild vs. severe. is getting old. It's pointless and doesn't help anyone. I've been on the receiving end of it and it hurts. I resent being treated like that. I've been here over a year. It's nothing new. It's been here the whole time.

So again, is my thinking really that ****ed up?

bec

 

[hodge]

Bec,

Sorry - I know I took off on the work subject, because for me it's a huge example of my new limitations.

I don't think you're off. I agree that it's hurtful to assume that just because we all have ptsd means we all experience it the same. Reading this forum makes that obvious, I think.

One thing I take from Anthony's post is that it's because we're all individuals and we need to be mindful of that. While we're waiting for your ebook, Anthony, I would also appreciate it if you could put your main points on the subject of comparing symptoms in this forum in bullet points or something.

 

[anthony]

Bec, what your saying is exactly the point. Well said. People merely seem to look for other issues to concern themselves over, when in fact it is quite easy. You focus on your trauma and finding solutions that best suit you as an individual. This being a collective statement which applies to us all. It does nothing to worry about how bad one was treated over the other, how one's progress is compared to another, etc etc.... way to many variables to even consider nor factor equivalency for any type of pissing contest.

Pissing contests are what you see on military PTSD related forums, not here. Trauma is the focus, how to heal trauma uniquely, then how to manage it uniquely that best suits individual by individual.

 

[becvan]

Thank you Anthony... I was worried there! Was thinking I'd lost touch or something.. lol never know with x-mas stress and all!

bec

 

[Awakening]

Thank you Kathy for your original post, it was very helpful and likewise Anthony your thoughts were most informative.

I'm going to keep re-reading over this because it actually raises a lot of good points about the variety in mental illness in general not just PTSD. It gives me an understanding of why I can do some things you think would be hard rather easily and others are impossible. My FIL has bipolar & asking him to work would be like asking a paraplegic to walk 'if you just try a bit harder'. He will never be able to work regardless of drugs or therapy.

I certainly hope I've never posted anything insensitive and if I have that it would be pointed out so that I would have the chance to explain myself and/or correct my behaviour.

To be honest, I still struggle enormously with the ins and outs of PTSD, despite all my readings on it. In part, maybe because to be really honest despite being on this forum I find myself from time to time thinking/hoping that I don't have it.

As yet I've not got a firm diagnosis, nor have I really sought to get a diagnosis.

My T says I have some clusters of the symptoms but let's not focus on a diagnosis at this time. Not give it too much importance.

My GP diagnosis is 'clinicial depression, but noting characteristics of PTSD'

The quiz I did on here I think said 'complex PTSD', but what does that really mean?

Sometimes when I'm on here I'm relieved to have an answer, to be able to relate so much to posts and at other times, I'm daunted by the fact that over and over I read there is no cure. That's the bit I have trouble accepting, and is probably denial, and something I need to work on.

My therapist is often accusing me of over analysing, thinking too much, intellectualising, avoiding etc. I do everything I can to go around and around talking about the traumas in an attempt to find something else to talk about! When I do manage to talk even the slightest about it - like it happened on a Wednesday in October - my symptoms increase dramatically, so I go back to 'well maybe I don't have it, maybe it (trauma) wasn't that bad, maybe if I try a bit harder I won't have the symptoms'.

Anyway now I'm making it all about me, when really I just wanted to thank you for this thread, it has certainly given me food for thought.

 

[Awakening]

P.S. Forgot to add Anthony when you were saying that 'all people lie' it made me think of House (the TV show). If you are not familiar with the show Dr House's basic principle of treating his patient is firstly 'what lies are they telling, what aren't they telling me'.

 

[cookie]

i makes me sad to feel some of the bitterness here. i think the ideal for the forum was more of comradery than comparison, on any level. it's not my forum, though, so i'm not sure. i only know that for myself, i received a lot of good information here and was able to educate myself about ptsd, and learn things like symptom control from others. who cares who works, and who doesn't? that's a personal matter, and totally indivdualized. i don't want anyone to suffer with ptsd, and i don't think there's any such thing as a "little" ptsd. not from where i stand.

i am working, there was a time i shouldn't have been. i think working with children is somehow easier, but not always easy, either. i don't feel like someone that can't work is a bad person. they have different needs. i plan on this being my last year teaching, because it is still stressful. i will prob do something part-time, to keep me getting out of bed, lol.

all of us can grow and learn and help ourselves more every day with practice and patience. that does not mean that every one will be able to work. that does not mean that they won't, either.

by the way, some work here. paid or not, work is work.
i have never looked down on anyone that doesn't work,nor any that do. it seems some of both is going on, in my opinion. (and ya, nobody asked for my opinion, either)
it seems very much that the holidays are hard on many of us, and we need to remember that our stress levels are elevated. i have to kick myself all the time to remember that my perception is often what makes me feel bad, not the intention of others.

i don't know everyone any more, but i do care that we can all help one another. i'm not much help right now, i've not been here much. but i would like to encourage all, i have come so far this last year. i am off of meds now. still in therapy, and prob will be to some extent for a while. my symptoms are much better, i have learned many techniques for calming, grounding, and so forth. sometimes they still run away. but i am still working on it. keep trying. keep edifying others here. don't let anyone make you feel less than you are.

i respect everyone's religion/non-religion, but know that i am praying for all here. i doesn't matter that i don't know you, He does.
cathy