Some Successes Lately

[EvenStrongerNow]

I have been staying accountable. No matter how much it hurts and even when I have good moments where PTSD doesn't seem real anymore and I think that I can do it on my own, I am pushing through to still see a trauma specialist.

I purchased health insurance. It will not be effective until March 1st, but I am going to keep going, all the way until I get a "Team Row Boat" as someone else called it here. I made all the calls. I reached out, etc.

I ate two meals yesterday and I ate breakfast today. I showered today, got dressed, and brushed my teeth. Now, I'm going to blow dry my hair and put my makeup on. That's a huge accomplishment. I have been able to utilize some effective coping skills that I found on this forum in the last few weeks.

I also got up early to go see a tax professional on Monday. Even though I have had to purchase a printer to print bank statements, purchase a filing system to get the huge pile of papers and mail atop my kitchen table (haven't tackled the pile yet but I know that I can), and even though I am still not getting out of the house, and even though I am still not functioning well, I am going to do this.

Even though I have anxiety about the weekend approaching, about needing to get things done, etc and about classes starting soon, I am still going to do this. Even though I may get taken out again by a flashback, I am going to do this.

I am going to keep pushing and when I get in to the trauma specialist, I am going to be honest with her about everything I am struggling with no matter how much I think I'm going to be judged or thought of as some crazy person. I don't care anymore. I need the help and I'm going to get myself the proper help this time because I deserve it.

Basically, me staying on this mindset of waiting on and getting the right treatment for PTSD no matter the emotions, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms I experience, is a huge accomplishment and success.

Me being able to sustain this mindset for this amount of time is an even bigger success.

 

[franciemarnie]

Oh man, I am loving your post. One step at a time. That's the only way. Do the next right thing and then the next and it all follows.

I have almost come to anthropomorphize PTSD so that when the times come I am down low and can barely do a thing, deep down inside even then I think - I will outsmart you by never giving up, by taking action the minute I am able. I will never say die. I may be down sometimes, but I am never out. It sounds dramatic but that's where I've been the last few years...

I know PTSD came about with my system trying to help me, but it is so powerful, something to contend with. Maybe someday it will be healed down to the size of a kitten. It will say, mew, mew. Do I sound nuts?

Of course I didn't always have that attitude (illegal drugs!), but I am glad I have it now.

 

[ms spock]

@StrongerNow Way to go! What a group of successes you have there!

 

[Marf]

GOOD FOR YOU!

 

[ms spock]

I may be down sometimes, but I am never out. It sounds dramatic but that's where I've been the last few years...

Sounds like a normal day to me.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

It does sound like a normal day and no, you aren't nuts. Well, at least not in the clinical sense :D

I used to scoff at the idea of "One Step At A Time". What do you mean one step at a time? I never had to do one step at a time before. Why now?

It has been a saving grace to me now. When the thoughts start coming to tell me that one step at a time is bad, I push them away now.

 

[Mercy]

Basically, me staying on this mindset of waiting on and getting the right treatment for PTSD no matter the emotions, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms I experience, is a huge accomplishment and success.

You have a lot of determination, courage and direction. That will take you far in healing. You whole post is like a manifesto for most of us. I will be coming back to your post to inhale the sweet scent of strength and determination. I'm agoraphobic too.

 

[Abstract]

Wow. You are a recovery text book.... :woot:

 

[Everhopeful]

It is so affirming, so very, very wonderful to read about hard-won personal successes on this forum. :tup:

 

[nomedic1]

Well doneStronger now

 

[The Albatross]

Good beginning on taking your life back.

 

[Britt.f7]

Great start! Sometimes the first steps are the hardest. You have this!