News Woody Allen Is Not A Monster. He Is A Person. Like My Father.

[scout86]

Maybe someday, I'll be evolved enough to see a child abuser as more than just a monster. Right now, "monster" works for me. But, a "successful monster" doesn't look like a monster. How could you possibly succeed at something like molesting kids if you looked like a monster? I've said that to a fair number of people the last few years. They nearly always look surprised. "Successful" serial killers, "successful" child abusers, they look like the guy next door. They look like Donna Reed. They walk among us and they blend in.

It was a good article and thanks for the link. I hope the author is really as ok as they seem.

 

[Pencil]

[duplicate post deleted]

 

[Pencil]

I also don't feel that we need to cover all aspects of something in an article for it to have value.

Precisely. The writer (who uses a pseudonym) is not a mental health professional. He simply writes about his own experience - see it as an exercise in catharsis rather than an article - and reflects on that experience. He does not even begin to pretend to have any answers or to be informative. And I don't see why he has to be.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

Maybe someday, I'll be evolved enough to see a child abuser as more than just a monster.

Scout86 you're already at the top of evolution.

How many years did it take for humans to learn to use a simple fork? How sad is that? ~Sigh~ Such a slow process.. Maybe someday child abusers will be evolved enough to stop acting like animals.

 

[ms spock]

Thanks for posting.

I believe children's accusations of sexual abuse and seriously doubt there's any reality to the idea of "planting" memories.

There's a bunch of people out there that make a living out of denying that repressed memories are real. Some of those are university professors. It's disgusting!

If you read the history of how that came about it is quite interesting. A major vested interest.

The other thing is that the first child abuse case was prosecuted under the cruelty to animals act. Fascinating stuff.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

I have come to believe that if we don't see the normal people as they are both normal and child rapists then we will never stop it. That dichotomy gives them the room to operate.

They aren't normal people. Sheez! Well....before we start giving our rapist a compassionate hug in an inane effort for change. How about lets give the Alex Balwin's of the world a whirl first.

What was it he said again. He unremarkably told Dylan it was a private matter and hushed her back to the darkside so he didn't have to deal with it.

There's your problem. Educate them first. How many people in this thread tried to reach out to adults and watched them turn a blind eye?

 

[Valentino]

We don't really just condemn the sexualization of children. Instead, we condemn the very existence of child abuse altogether. It's as if the crime includes being victimized by it, or responsible for bringing it into the light. We take an ontological roach spray to the whole event, either denying its status in reality altogether, or competing with one another to proclaim the most exquisite forms of torture for the perpetrators. I can't count how many times I've seen the most strident liberal break character to loudly call for the prison rape of perpetrators.

That this darkness is actually woven into and throughout the fabric of our society—that these abusers are among us—is simply too much to bear. So the darkness is ignored except for the most distilled, theatrical, and viscerally repellent cases.

These are amazing and deep challenging points that this writer makes. It is likely written under a pseudonym partially because trying to talk about the darkness that's an integral part of human nature in public is simply too personally risky. It's very easy to 'attack the messenger' instead of considering the message first before throwing it out.

I agree that the need to keep our human darkness secret is a huge point. This might be why 'blame the victim' and 'just world theory' beliefs are so pervasive in society, those beliefs alone can re-traumatize and further isolate trauma survivors.
-----
The story behind Jesse Ryan Loskarn's suicide note is also a sheer tragedy if it's true. He sounds like a genuine victim of childhood sex abuse, who sought out child porn as an attempt to understand his childhood. Possibly searching to recover or heal from that trauma. He then gets stigmatized in public after his child porn collection gets exposed through some sort of postal service investigation. There were no charges or evidence of him being a child abuser.

Excerpts from his note:

http://www.jesseryanloskarnslastmessage.com/333880300
"I found myself drawn to videos that matched my own childhood abuse. It’s painful and humiliating to admit to myself, let alone the whole world, but I pictured myself as a child in the image or video. The more an image mirrored some element of my memories and took me back, the more I felt a connection. "
...
"As an adult I thought I was a tougher man because of the experience; that I was mentally stronger and less emotional than most. I told myself that I was superior to other people because I had dealt with this thing on my own.
Those I worked with on the Hill would likely describe me as a controlled, independent, and rational person who could analyze a situation with little or no emotion. That’s how I viewed myself. In retrospect, the qualities that helped me succeed on Capitol Hill were probably developed partly as a result of the abuse and how it shaped me."

 

[ms spock]

They aren't normal people. Sheez! Well....before we start giving our rapist a compassionate hug in an inane effort for change.

That is a bit of a straw man argument. I am not advocating giving our child rapists a hug be they male or female. I am talking about clear and precise acknowledgment and management of the situation. Otherwise people unwittingly allow child rapists to sexually abuse their children because they have no strategies on child protection. Because they weren't protected themselves.

To be fair to you I was in your camp very strongly for a very, very long time. Until I realised that after 30 years of being involved in sexual assault communities I didn't know anyone who didn't have children that weren't sexually abused they might have protected them against their families, but friends of the family had got to them.

I ended homeless and losing everything because of my disclosure of my sexual abuse and telling the extended family.

What was it he said again. He unremarkably told Dylan it was a private matter and hushed her back to the darkside so he didn't have to deal with it.

Yeah and I am sure you know what that feels like.

I certainly was threatened with death and it was terribly violent.

There's your problem. Educate them first. How many people in this thread tried to reach out to adults and watched them turn a blind eye?

I did many, many times.

And I have been involved in things like awareness weeks to national conferences. What we are doing is not working.

 

[Pencil]

'blame the victim'

Judith Herman explains this very well:

"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim ask the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering." (A tendency to render the victim invisible; to look the other way.) From Trauma and Recovery

 

[ms spock]

Maybe someday child abusers will be evolved enough to stop acting like animals.

There is no where on this planet that claims that they have come up with a treatment that works for child rapists. So what do we do? Be in denial as it goes from generation to generation?

There is no reason for them to stop acting like they do. So do we pretend they are not there and allow them to do their own families over and then move on to friend's families?

 

[ms spock]

Woody Allen likes them young. No dispute there!

And thus the young need to be protected from him.

 

[ms spock]

Judith Herman explains this very well:

"It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim ask the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering." (A tendency to render the victim invisible; to look the other way.) From Trauma and Recovery

She nails it. She absolutely gets it.