Dissociation Upon Waking That Lasts For Hours - Why?

[macca]

Does anyone else have this? I've had it before, but never to this extent. I've been dreaming a lot lately, but don't know what I'm dreaming, just that there seems to be a lot going on in the dreams. Several nights ago I had flashbacks and nightmares all night. When that happens, I'm hyperaroused more than usual for a couple of days afterwards.

What seems to be happening more often though is that when I wake after dreaming, I am really dissociated afterwards. I had a nap today, for about 90mins (as I haven't been sleeping well and am really tired). I woke up and just couldn't come out of that dream-type state. Like I was stuck in the dream still, but I don't remember what the dream was. I was really groggy, couldn't follow conversations, spacing out and forgetting things instantly, feeling like I was out of step with reality. It has taken 5-6 hours to be able to sit down and write about it here. I've been having flashes of intense sadness and distress within it that last for a few minutes at a time, then I'm straight back to being "gone".

I was wondering why I'm having this happen more often, and for much longer periods of time. Anyone experienced this before? It's really frustrating, as I'm having trouble even doing basic things like putting clothes away.

 

[macca]

Actually, I've been having trouble doing basic things ever since my PTSD hit me full-blown a few months ago, so that's not new.

 

[Echo]

Hi @macca - you exactly describe how things are often with me. I've had two major phases of this, and I'm in one now, too. I presume that stuff is emerging, maybe not into our conscious minds, but emerging nonetheless, and we are processing it in our nighttime states. I suppose it must rob us of any proper sleep and we must be numbing out because it is unpleasant stuff. I don't know what the solution is, other than perhaps allowing it to happen. Yes, and my ordinary life descends into chaos, because if I don't do the cleaning and washing-up, etc. it doesn't happen. Be kind to yourself. I trust it will pass.

 

[HelenB]

I also go through phases of this when more emotions and things are coming to the surface, and though it is hard would agree that perhaps just letting it happen and giving yourself the care and nurture you deserve as you get past it is the best way, so that these emotions can surface and you can get past them and find the safety and grounding you so need in your life for now.

God bless
Helen

 

[Hope4Now]

Hi Macca, I'm new to all this stuff (well, not really new but just beginning to understand it). I haven't remembered my dreams at all for years now, but I wake up almost every morning either massively hyper-aroused or totally out of it. This happens too when I take naps (which I don't get to do very often). At some people's suggestions over the past couple of months, I simply try to notice what I am feeling physically and mentally without getting creeped out or freaked out by it. Then I count my breaths for about 10 (saying to myself "in" on the in-breath and "out" on the out-breath) and visualize myself in a safe place. Sometimes I get too reactive to count 10 breaths, but I try to get there. The goals are a)stay in your body at the present and b)notice the physical feelings and any emotion if you can without letting yourself be pulled into the vortex of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves (e.g., how bad, ashamed, worthless, weird...whatever the flavors of the day are).

Then, like Echo, I have to leap into action making breakfasts, lunches, taking care of dog, getting showered/ready for work...it works best if I can stick to a really clear routine of what to do first, then, next...etc. Sometimes I have to say things out loud to myself ("Now I am in the shower. Now I am washing my hair. etc.")

Of course, a lot of this doesn't work for me on a regular basis either. I am well-practiced at dissociation. But the more I do the things I said, the better I am getting at staying in my body and in the present (two different things for me). This is not always pleasant.

I found listening to Pema Chodron's audio lectures on "Getting Unstuck" quite helpful for understanding how to do some of this stuff. She's a tibetan buddhist nun and great to listen to if you can get hold of her stuff either through your library or online. Sharon Salzburg's book Real Happiness also has some really short and simple mindfulness meditations that I've found hugely helpful.

 

[Barconian]

A friend of mine was dreaming about scotch finger biscuits last night. She went to the cupboard this morning feeling totally ripped off, because it was just a dream :)

 

[joeygn72]

Some mornings I wake up ok.. Most mornings I wake up and just want the world to burn. I can't say why that is,I want to say it's because of the nightmares and night terrors I have but I don't know. The part thats scary is it's sorta like having an alcoholic parent. You never know who you're gonna come home from school to. I don't know who I am going to wake up to every morning.

It's frightening to not know what version of yourself you are going to be at any given time.

 

[billie]

This happens a lot to me when psychotherapy sessions induce a transferance stage in my development. Aparently it's a good sign. Are you in therapy? hope your okay.

 

[Barconian]

Tomorrow will be a good day

 

[macca]

@billie I'm in therapy, but haven't seen my T in nearly a month, as she's been overseas on holidays. I did an EMDR, my first, earlier this year, and it's been ever since then. So maybe you are on to something. I'd like to think it's a good sign! It's been a rough ride lately, but I'm still on the horse.

 

[Hope4Now]

It's been a rough ride lately, but I'm still on the horse.

That's what it's all about. Staying on the horse! I'm so glad you used this metaphor! I used to ride horses bareback through the country. I was not a highly experienced rider, but rather a teacher who was going along with the kids for their lessons, so the instructor always gave me a horse. I think he assumed I was far more competent than I actually was. Whenever I got scared because my horse was going too fast or jumping over things, or I was afraid I was losing control, my ride was MISERABLE because I was fighting the natural movements of my body with the horse. Once I could just let go (in my mind that is!) and go with the ride, it was exhilarating. Scary as all hell but it was life in the here and now! So yes, stay on the horse!