When You Read A Post About Wrongful Accusations And Are Suspicious

[Guhen]

What do you do if you read someone saying they were wrongly accused of abuse and there are things that somehow make you suspicious? If you question them maybe you too are wrongly accusing. So do you ignore it and leave other members to support the person without checking it out?

 

[Lajecez]

Here on these forums?

Maybe see to find balance between not choseing to trust, but also not choosing to accuse. You could ask clarifying questions- in a very easy going and "please help me understand" kind of tone.

You could also be picking up on some way that they present themselves that is leading to false accusations, and you could gently point out, hey, when you do XYZ, it might be leading people to become suspicious of you.

Or, you could also just step back and observe and let other members support the person - which could be a good option as well since they didn't come here for the purpose of needing to prove themselves, but to get support.

Very tough call.

 

[Atufu]

OP here. Thank for the reply.

I'm suspicious that they're not innocent. If there fishing for ideas for how to play the PTSD card I don't want to help by giving feedback.

They might be innocent and deserve support. Although what they posted doesn't add up.

It is a tough call.

Thinking...

 

[Efig]

Sorry yes here on the forums.

 

[Ogene]

I cannot imagine how PTSD could be used as any form of 'excuse' or 'reason' or ;card' for getting off charges of abuse. So if anyone was trying to do so, good luck to them, cos they'd need it!

No matter how mentally ill someone might be, they are always responsible for their crimes - UNLESS they are psychotic at the time. PTSD would not mean someone is not responsible for everything they did, no matter how ill they might be, or how dissociated or whatever other symptom.

Does this person have PTSD - have they been posting on here for a while before posting for support relating to being accused of abuse? If someone has just joined and immediately seeking support cos they are facing charges, THAT in itself is suspicious.

 

[Zocim]

The day they joined they posted about being falsely accused. They haven't posted anything before or since. What they said about their PTSD and their treatment, I've never heard anyone talk about it like that. It was all perfection. They are perfection, their treatment is perfection, their relationship is perfection although later they say things abouit their partner that don't sound like perfection to me.

I know that all this could go either way. I'm very suspicious, maybe too suspicious. I know that maybe I'm too suspicious. I realise that.

They said one thing that was factually wrong. They couldn't have known what they said they knew. If I questioned them, I'm sure they'd correct it. Say they accidentally wrote the wrong dates or something. But what they said so far can't be right.

I decided that if they posted again and the new post didn't change my suspicions I'd report them. They haven't posted again.

It makes me feel sick, the possibility that someone abusive might be using the forum to get information to help them pretend to have PTSD and be innocent.

Maybe that isn't the case. Maybe they really have PTSD and have really been wrongly accused and needed support.

Maybe.

 

[Nenoj]

It makes me feel sick, the possibility that someone abusive might be using the forum to get information to help them pretend to have PTSD and be innocent..

Do you honestly think they would be the first here to do so? I don't...

 

[Zutun]

This is the internet, and the internet, by its very nature, provides a platform for people to pretend to be something they're not.

In that way, it's healthy sometimes to trust your instincts as guidance for yourself. This doesn't mean you have to believe your initial instinct to be the absolute truth of the matter - because it's very easy to misjudge on the internet and to misjudge because of our own history. So, accept what you feel, but try to handle it as a possibility, rather than a reality.

If you feel emotionally ok to do so, ask the person questions to clarify things that you are unsure about. If not, step away and allow yourself not to get involved. Whilst there is a down side to the anonymity that the internet provides (people pretending), there is also an up side, and that is, that they can't get to you, and you can walk away from people much easier than you can if they were there physically. In that way, even if they were an abuser, you are safe as long as you don't give out your personal address etc.

 

[Ruvuhub]

I decided that if they posted again and the new post didn't change my suspicions I'd report them. They haven't posted again.

Do you mean report them to forum moderators? Did they violate forum rules? Are they asking for anything other than responses? If all they are asking for is support and they are not violating forum rules, and you just don't think you believe them, then I'm not sure what you could report them for.

Or do you mean report them to law enforcement?

 

[Ucu]

I think I know the post you speak of and I think it's best to leave it alone. I've called out others for their suspicious behavior, but I believe him when he says that he did not do the abusing yet is having his PTSD status held against him. I don't think that it is our job to jump all over this guy. I think that many think that once someone is accused of abusing, just throw away the key, they are guilty. In our society, this is not always the case. Give this guy his day in court and get that baby away from the mother who was there while the babies bones were broken. (The PTSD sufferer was already removed from the home at this point.)

 

[Nenoj]

When in doubt, report the post so staff are aware of the issue and can atleast watch the member to see whether such suspicions have merit from their view.

 

[Kahaw]

Anthony is pretty aware of what goes on here, and vigilant to fakes and predators posing as prey. If something seemed sus to you then it may have also registered with him, and he'd already be onto it and watching the person closely. but as Nenoj says, if in doubt, report to staff and they can keep an eye on the person for further discrepancies that don't add up.