Struggling - Is Medication The Answer?

[J_trustno1]

@ghotiff : sorry to hear this about your friend saying "sexual abuse" being classed normal! No!! it isn't normal, yes it happens to a lot of kids (including me!) but that does NOT make it normal. I feel sorry for your friend for making this sound as an okay thing. I am really sorry that you had to tolerate such comments. There is nothing wrong with you but the kind of people you dealt with in the past. Hope things start becoming better for you.

 

[ghotiff]

that does NOT make it normal

Thanks Jess....these type of comments really get to me and sometimes its hard to work out whether the comment is inappropriate, or I'm just too sensitive.

 

[J_trustno1]

nah there is nothing wrong with you, it's just that we are living in a very f*cked up society with lots of morons who do anything to put you down. I know some and deal with them constantly. No you are not too sensitive but that was a wrong sentence. It's exactly like saying depression is just an excuse! Don't listen to those low life morons, you are much better than them actually no comparison between them and you, you are the best :).

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I can relate to so much in your post. I started therapy a little under a year ago and I had no idea what I was getting into. I had this idea that I'd go to therapy for a few months, learn a few strategies, and be on my way. That is definitely not how this has played out and there are so many more things that trigger me. However, I know I chose the right path because I know I was already spiraling downward.

I do not take medication, but I can see how helpful it can be. It is a huge trigger for me so for now it is not an option. I have been struggling to figure out the right path to healing, but I am totally lost for now. This is probably not much help for you at the moment, but I just wanted to tell your post reminded me that I am not alone and I hope with everyone's responses that you know you are not alone or just being overly sensitive.

 

[anthony]

@ghotiff I don't really understand... if your life was good before therapy, then why did you start therapy? If therapy is making your life so much worse, then why haven't you stopped it OR someone recommended you towards medication already? Medication during therapy is quite normal. I still just don't really understand the initial going into therapy, as my interpretation of your post is that your life was ok and you were coping without it.

Trauma therapy will turn your life upside down, it will make every symptom worse, before any of it gets better. If I was coping, I wouldn't have even started any type of therapy. Shit... it wasn't until I broke down that I needed therapy to work out why and how to put the pieces back together again.

I'm just the type of person though, "if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it."

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am finally on medication that has stabilized me. My life will never be the same as it was.

I am feeling good and have been changing, learning and growing since I started therapy in1985. It has been a long and painful journey for me but the benefits of it are coming to me at long last.

I got severe anxiety when my husband was diagnoses with dementia and I had to do everything because he could no longer do anything anymore. He died a year ago and I am thinking that I am grateful for the medication that is helping me so much. I have a great psychiatrist that sees and hears me. The best one I have ever had. My only hope is that he does not leave.

My life now is real. And it is mine. I have survived and and moving on with my life now.

I wish the best for you on your healing journey. I have been depressed my entire life but today it does not hit and take me down like it used to.

 

[Alien Goodness]

Wish I had some words of wisdom to help you @ghotiff but I honestly don't know what to say.

All I can add is that therapy doesn't always help and I too have had the experience of being in a worse place after therapy than before I started, and this is f*cked up since the primary purpose of therapy is to help, not hurt.

That said: I've had a variety of therapists over 18 years and overall I've benefited from therapy, but I'm still angry about my last therapist who left me in a worse place. Personally I don't think I'll return to therapy...

Not sure if sharing this helps you @ghotiff but I sense in your posts a strong desire to experience healing and I want to affirm that - and encourage you to believe in your own inner wisdom to make the right choice.

 

[silkleaves]

I think, sometimes too, you just have to be ready for it. I believe, one could have the most skilled, professional, caring therapist, but if you are not ready to go down that path, its going to do more harm than good to try. The first time I went to therapy was about 15 years ago, and I think I came away from it needing therapy for my therapy. I went through three therapists in about 2 months time, and it was horrible. Even worse because I *had* to go...I didnt have the option to just stop. I don't think anyone should ever have to be in that position.

This time, last year I was ready for it, but then again, maybe I only thought I was ready, because I ended up getting kicked out of my group and I still feel pangs of guilt for taking that space away from someone else who needed it and would actully show up every week in an effort to get better. Eventually I will try again. But I think for anyone...you have to be ready so that when things get worse, you are determined to push through instead of lash out or hide.

 

[ghotiff]

I think I will ask her about possible medication.

I just saw my T, and she brought up medication....my instant thought was one of paranoia, is she following me on this forum. (Note to T: If you are, that is fine, but can you tell me please).

Not sure if sharing this helps you @ghotiff but I sense in your posts a strong desire to experience healing and I want to affirm that - and encourage you to believe in your own inner wisdom to make the right choice

Thanks for this. I really do want to heal. I want to be better particularly so my kids are less impacted by my issues. As they grow older, they will be more impacted and also more aware of my issues. My childhood didn't work out that well for me....I really want my kids childhood to be okay.

I think, sometimes too, you just have to be ready for it.

I tried therapy 2 decades ago and froze outside the building....I physically couldn't enter. I think I waited until my life was strong and stable enough that I could take the risk of therapy. While I think this was a good choice, it has made the drop from high functioning to low functioning more extreme.

Thanks everyone.

 

[GWhizz]

Hi ghotiff,

I can't tell you whether medication is right for you and your individual circumstances, though I can share my personal experience on it, be it quite recent and short term so far.

I began therapy back in December, due to postnatal depression which it turns out was mainly triggered by underlying past trauma/abuse from my childhood. Initially I wasn't coping at all and therapy only made me feel worse (it still does a lot of the time). So my T and gp both discussed things (with my consent that they talk to eachother) and asked that I start meds. Mainly as I refused to go to hospital (I was suicidal and have a history of attempts as a teen) due to negative past experiences in hospital.

Although I am a nurse myself, I'm a bit of an au naturale organic hippy lol and was totally against meds. My therapist and gp were both really kind and respectful about it though. They assured me they didn't think I was 'mad' or anything, that I just had too much to cope with hence the situation I found myself in. They helped me see that meds were only temporary and would serve to help lift my mood while I deal with all my overwhelming pressure and exhaustion I was under.

I started meds late Jan, had to titrate dosages a bit as I got more tired and temperamental initially, but since last month I am now weaning down my dosage. I have been on sick leave from work since Feb when my maternity leave ended but am now fit to return to work as of next month. I should be completely weaned off the meds by that time but if not it's no biggie either imo.

I just wanted to share the experience of someone skeptical of meds and my perceived benefits from them. I still have a long way to go in terms of continuing therapy and actually getting into the nitty gritty in therapy, but I'm no longer as low moodwise as before the meds. I'd like to believe they helped me through a particularly rough patch. They're certainly not one fits all, but they have their benefits. At the end of the day, they could be worth a trial but of course your doc will be the one deciding.

I hope you reach a positive decision and good outcome. Stay strong for you and your kiddos