Sexual Assault Pelvic Examinations

[Deleted member 26920]

When I was a child, I was sexually abused. I'm going to leave it at that.

My many health issues (mostly stomachey-digestive stuff) resulted in me needing a pelvic examination. The appointment was scheduled this past week, and needless to say, it didn't go well. The doctor was kind and could see I was very obviously terrified, so she very slowly and very gently made her way down privates, telling me what she was doing all the while. In reality, this did nothing to help considering I was already white knuckled and whimpering like I'd just gotten my tonsils out; I was horrified, and she hadn't even started yet. When the gyno got to my private area, I completely lost it. It was like I wasn't in control anymore. I couldn't do it. I know it's a bit pathetic, but I truly do not have it inside of me to do something like that. Everything about it is sheerly terrifying

The worst part is, I still need the exam, but I'm not sure if I can manage. Does anybody have any advice or tips to help get through a pelvic examination?

 

[Hashi]

Anti-anxiety medication? I'm not being flippant, I'm serious. I don't take regular medication, I'm very much against it for myself personally. But for something like this, I do take either a beta-blocker or a benzodiazepine. And I'm glad to have them. There are things I have to get through, and I have to have help to get through them.

 

[DharmaGirl]

It would take a whole lot of benzos to get me through it.

 

[Deleted member 26920]

The doctor only touched the outsides of my privates before I went hysterical. I'm not sure how I'm going to get this exam done, or if I even can.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I totally understand. I'm so sorry this is so hard. Have you talked to the gyno about your feelings or is it too hard?

 

[Deleted member 26920]

No, I haven't talked to my gyno about it. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

 

[cherryblossom]

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't.

What makes you say that? Do you want to? And why so definitely couldn't?

I know how hard this is, but letting your doctor know how difficult it is for you would be a massive step forward to getting the examination done. You don't have to say a whole lot of details. "I was raped", or "I was sexually abused", or whatever is relevant to your situation should be enough. As an obs /gynae doctor she will have had to deal with this before. You will not be the first patient she has come across who has struggled with this. Then ask if you can sit down with her and discuss how this might be made easier for you. If you can't say the words out loud, then write it down on a piece of paper and hand it to her to read.

Have a think about what might help. It could be some sort of sedation, and/or muscle relaxants. It could be having a good friend/partner with you holding your hand, talking to you, distracting you, helping you with grounding techniques. Or perhaps a nurse if you don't want someone you know with you.

Read up about, learn and practise both grounding techniques, and relaxation techniques.

I think telling your doctor is key, so that between you, you can work on an approach that will help you. That might be to take it slow, talk through everything before it happens, or it might be that you trust her to get on with it while you focus on something else. Perhaps listen to your favourite music and use relaxation techniques while she just does it. We're all different, but your Doctor will have met patients before who struggle just like you do, so don't be embarrassed or ashamed about it. She will no doubt have other techniques she can use to help get you through it and she really is the best person to help you through this.

 

[Deleted member 26920]

@cherryblossom It's a complicated situation... A doctor is legally obligated to report sexual abuse when it pertains to a minor, and I can't have that.

 

[digger]

A doctor is legally obligated to report sexual abuse when it pertains to a minor, and I can't have that.

Are you still a minor now?

 

[Deleted member 26920]

@digger yes

 

[digger]

Okay. Then as she's attempted the exam already and given how you reacted, she will already be aware that it's something that scares you. I'm not sure what your needing the exam for but it might be worth checking if there is a less invasive procedure they could use - external scan maybe?

 

[cherryblossom]

A doctor is legally obligated to report sexual abuse when it pertains to a minor

How old are you? Clearly I don't know where you live, or what this fully means, but if you don't actually give any details, then what is there to report, and to who? Who would she report to?