Sexual Assault Pelvic Examinations

[Deleted member 26920]

@cherryblossom by "report" I meant she would have to tell my mom.

 

[catjudo]

How old are you? Clearly I don't know where you live, or what this fully means, but if you don't actually give any details, then what is there to report, and to who? Who would she report to?

In the United States there are some professions that are mandatory reporters. These are people like doctors, teachers, therapists, social workers, etc. If someone is a mandatory reporter (like her doctor) and knows (or even has reasonable cause to think) that a minor (anyone under the age of 18) has been abused they are legally required to report it to the police or children services. They do not need to know all of the details. If they reasonably believe that a minor is or has been abused and it has not previously been reported, they are required to make a report with as much information as they have. These laws are in place to try to help children, make sure they get the help they need, make sure they are safe and to make sure perpetrators are held accountable so they cannot hurt others. If the assault or abuse has previously been reported, then letting the doctor know that will prevent them from having to make a report. If someone is a mandatory reporter and it is discovered that they have not made a report of abuse when they should have, they are subject to disciplinary action including losing their license to practice.

 

[bluebird]

Hi, @MaltOMeal , as for myself - I went to see a gynaecologist recently - non-invasive procedure, but I was still really terrified. I took a friend with me and she was holding my hand the whole time and after then we went to buy ourselves ice-cream... Do you have somebody to go with you? It´s ok to do so - many girls are frightened... Or - you know, you can "create" a covering story - like that you have heard some terrible stories about how does these examinations hurt and that you need the doctor to talk with you all the time...

Might I ask - please, feel free in case you do not want to answer, I totally respect your privacy - but I´ve been wondering what reasons stop you from telling somebody? Is there any way in which the circumstances would have changed and you would have recognised telling your mom as a possibility?

@catjudo - same in my country...

 

[cherryblossom]

@catjudo - thanks for helping me understand, useful information :)

 

[Deleted member 26920]

@bluebird it's a complicated situation, but in short, if I were to "come out," it would unnecessarily hurt many of the people I love.

 

[catjudo]

I don't know the history of your abuse. Is there any adult in your life who knows what happened to you? You're 15 years old...it's not your job to try to protect everyone around you. Someone should be taking care of you.

 

[joeylittle]

@cherryblossom by "report" I meant she would have to tell my mom.

Double-check your state laws. Generally the parent is not the one who is reported to, it is police (adult) and DCS (minor).

 

[shell]

If you are trying to protect others, does this mean that the abuse is still occurring? It's a parents job to protect you, not a child's job to protect their parents, I can't think of a single parent who wouldn't be upset more by the thought that their child couldn't talk to them about something so important. I hope you can find someone safe to confide in.

 

[Lucycat]

I cannot imagine in a million years getting a pelvic exam when I was 15. I would have thought somebody - such as your Mum or a close friend would go with you. I don't think in the UK many gynaecologists would be happy to examine an unaccompanied child.

I do think the others are right though. If this creates so much anxiety I would expect you to be offered anti-anxiety medication or an anaesthetic. Many children have an anaesthetic for examinations that they simply can't handle because of their age ( and they do not need to know of the abuse - just that you need help with this)

 

[EternallyChildish]

This situation is what lead to my doctor's discovery of my PTSD. I'm nearly 30 now, I still panic and hyperventilate every time. Most recently I've had to take multiple days off of work and schedule some reward activities with my significant other, to force myself to make it. I try to tell myself that this is just a normal physical like all women dislike, something unpleasant all adult women put up with. It's a challenge every time.

My trauma went on for ten years, ended thirteen years ago. I don't expect to ever feel casual about these types of exams, but I'd like to not end up sobbing and breathless eventually.