Spiritual Abuse From Toxic Christianity.

[Deleted member 12723]

In my search for real truths, I came to a cult like church. I was innocent and naïve and gullible. I was also vulnerable and desperately needed help and support.

I ended up being outcasted for speaking my truth out loud and shunned so I withdrew my membership from the church. I was gossiped about and the rumor mills were on alert. My children were gossiped about and labeled.

My daughter was a goth and I was told that my daughter was demon possessed and I was demon possessed.

I had no help and support for what I was going through.

By accident I came across some books that called what happened to me and my family Spiritual Abuse.

I have read it is a branding experience that so messes with peoples heads I was shattered and crumbling. I lived in a very Toxic Christian small town and so many people are zeolots.

I digress, I dyed my hair black and started to wear only black clothes because I was so angry.

I now know more about the dynamics of Spiritual Abuse. It is rampant in homes and churches, cults.

It takes a long long time to heal from this. It is compared to the incest dynamic where people with big egos speak as though they had a hot line from God.

I have heard that there are some churches that are healthy. But I have never found one. I am done with religion and churches. The people who are brainwashed do so much damage thinking they are superior over the needy and the broken.

There is more to my story than I am telling at this time.

I am still on my search for truth. The fact is there was no truth at all in that church. The pastor who did a demon exorcism on me got fired for other things and I felt like that was justice for me. It took two years for that to happen but I felt vindicated. He continued to live in the town and had a large cult following.

I try to look for anything real about them and I find none. I try to look for some crumb of humanity but I find none.

I know I have a long ways to go in healing and recovering from this wound.

I am speaking about this because I think it literally drives people away from the Creator. I keep hearing on this forum how often this sort of thing happens.

One of the elders of that church accused me of causing a miscarriage. It was like living in the dark ages.

Any comments on this?

 

[WillyKat]

I'm sorry you have to deal with such garbage. I saw a quote recently that religion needs spirituality, but spirituality doesn't need religion. In other words, you can truths in being spiritual w/o needing the approval of some religion.

I can only relate to your experience in a small way. About two years after I finished high school (back in the late 70s) there was a religious revival sweeping the US. People called it born again christianity. A great many people where I grew up joined in, as did most of my high school buddies. I didn't. I've always been too independent minded and had too much wonder and too many questions to assume there was an answer.

More importantly, most of my soon-to-be-ex-friends weren't out to do good in the world; they were out to make everyone think the same thing. And they seemed to prefer clubs to the persuasiveness of their ideas. There was such a low bar for entry too. I'm sure that if I went out and bought a bible, said I had gone to church, they would have declared me "saved" and gone on with their day. They did that a lot: talk about other classmates and acquaintances as being either "saved" or the other thing, as if they were the ones to make such a judgement. To cut a long story short, I haven't been in contact with any of those guys for 30 years or more. I did bump into one maybe 15 years ago and we just said hi, but that's it.

I did witness something in those days that really bothers me. I lived across the street from what used to be a sorority house that had been converted to some kind of religious institution. It may have been called Maranatha but I'm not sure about it. In any case, one young woman was on the sidewalk coughing and sort of choking, like something had gone the wrong way. All this time, a few other women with her were preaching about the lord or the devil, not even bothering to pat her on the back or ask if she was ok.

And people wonder why religion is becoming less important in people's lives. What a mystery.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have a very similar experiences with churches. I really do believe they can be more harmful than helpful. I am sure good churches exist, but i haven't had that experience, and I have been to a lot.

Most of my abusers have been very involved with churches in someway and used the bible to as a tool in their abuse, so I had to walk away from Christianity a long time ago for my sanity.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I so agree with you WillyKat. I was so naïve, so gullible and so trusting and desperate for help and support. That lesson was very painful and costly to me and I still have to try to heal the branding wound.

It is such a betrayal of people. That poor girl coughing and everyone blind to her problem just kept on talking and talking.
I know what you mean about religion becoming less important in peoples lives.

Thanks for weighing in. I really appreciate it.[DOUBLEPOST=1400790249,1400790002][/DOUBLEPOST]Fadeaway I can relate to what you said. I understand the Toxic Christianity ruined a spiritual experience for you. I have tried two times to go to a church and it just is not me anymore.

I am amazed at the great crowd of people who have been Spiritually Abused. I have a long way to on my healing and recovery over this experience. Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate it.

 

[Fadeaway]

Getting rid of branding, was so liberating for me.

One of the big things I dealt with was people always telling me, "If you had more faith, you wouldn't be in this mess." or "If you had prayed harder *insert random event* wouldn't have happened. I so took all the blame on my self and really struggled with guilt over it. Once I was able to accept my faith or lack of faith had nothing to do with any of it, I felt a million times better.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Fadeaway I know what you mean about being liberated from the branding. I act like an atheist but I have my faith which has been a good experience for me. I tend to avoid talking about religion and I realize that there are so many trigger words from the experience of being abused.

 

[Pencil]

I dyed my hair black and started to wear only black clothes because I was so angry.

This is very unexpected coming from you, gizmo and therefore very funny. I just love it.[DOUBLEPOST=1400791457,1400791340][/DOUBLEPOST]I've never had anything but bad experiences with churches.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You had to be there Pencil. It drove my people pleasing husband nuts. But I had fun with it. I figured I would join with my daughter and vindicate her.[DOUBLEPOST=1400791623,1400791538][/DOUBLEPOST]Pencil lack of information about Spiritual Abuse has destroyed so many people. At the time I thought I was the only one.

 

[Fadeaway]

I would be very interested in knowing what those books are. I think they might be good for me to read.

 

[Laura 2]

I must say that, throughout my nightmare, my Christian friends were often horrid. Most turned a blind eye to the crime and my suffering. In fact, I can honestly say that my atheist friends have been far more supportive and kind.

It's been a real source of pain and great mystery as to why Christians - those who profess to be following Jesus's teaching of 'love thy neighbour as thyself' - could be so callous.

I'm sad you've had this pernicious experience, gizmo. I hope, as time goes on, you'll see that these 'christians' are simply not important enough for you to even think about let alone be so bothered by. As far as my experience goes, the real truth is not to be found in churches or cults - in my book, it's to be found in kind and compassion actions and the natural wonder and beauty of the world.:happy:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Laura 2 I could not have said it better than you. It is so true. Your comments helped me to rethink some things.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Just want to say that I find it very brave of you to share this here.
I'm glad you're away from those toxic people now.