Sexual Assault Intrusive Sexual Thoughts

[Tina]

Is it normal for an abused victim to have unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings often?

 

[precious-things]

I'm not entirely sure. I've heard some victims have an increased sex drive. I was abused at a young age (14-15) but I had just about no sex drive before that and quite an intense one ever since. I never thought it was related, but I suppose it could be.

 

[cherryblossom]

Is it normal for an abused victim to have unwanted sexual thoughts and feelings often?

Perhaps you can explain more? I'm not really understanding what you are asking. (Sorry).

 

[Tina]

Perhaps you can explain more? I'm not really understanding what you are asking. (Sorry).

Oh,wow it's embarrassing and awful. It's like I get these awful images in my head and it difficult to push them out. I have it literally tell myself to stop them. There sick sexual fantasies of all kinds, even about my family members and I hate that! Sometimes I can't even use the bathroom without something terrible popping into my head or pet my dog without a weird thought steering me to do something awful. It's like am possessed and I am powerless. Sometimes I just want to die and I will be free from this craziness.

 

[Tina]

Idk. I might as well accept the fact that I could be some kind of weirdo pervert with awful thoughts and feelings. and that there's not a damn thing I can do about it. This is do bad . I can't even be happy if I tired. I do t think my life will last long.

 

[wolfster205]

Tina, I get it too. Had a dream yesterday that some man was beating me with a pole and molesting me. Kept asking myself if there was something wrong with me till I found out that dreams like these are probably trauma related.

 

[Lucycat]

There sick sexual fantasies of all kinds, even about my family members and I hate that!

In my first year of therapy I had a dreadful dream about my brother. I think kind of what you are perhaps describing here. Not that he was abusing or assaulting me, but that I wanted it. I was devastated by the dream and deeply embarrassed. It took a lot of courage to tell T about it. He explained it as simply my confused brain trying to make sense of everything. He said it does not mean anything and certainly did not mean I had a sick mind.

 

[Tina]

Yeah

In my first year of therapy I had a dreadful dream about my brother. I think kind of what you are perhaps describing here. Not that he was abusing or assaulting me, but that I wanted it. I was devastated by the dream and deeply embarrassed. It took a lot of courage to tell T about it. He explained it as simply my confused brain trying to make sense of everything. He said it does not mean anything and certainly did not mean I had a sick mind.

Yeah. Why are our brains so confused? It's like the wiring isn't right or something. This totally is not me. This is not normal at all.i feel like am possessed or my mind is possessed and it sometimes steers me in the wrong direction to do bad things but I all ways try to fight it. I would never hurt anyone and am to old to be acting out.

 

[Lucycat]

. Why are our brains so confused?

When we have traumatic memories - like those of abuse or assault they are stored in a different part of your brain to 'normal' memories. They get stuck and get stored with all the emotions and feelings. Sometimes we block out those traumatic memories, maybe for years, but when they come back - as they always seem to - they hit us hard. All the original emotions come out too and overwhelm us. Our brains are still trying to 'process' that traumatic memory - even an ancient one-and put it where it should be - in with 'normal ' memories.

It seems to me that once those memories are unleashed the brain goes into overdrive trying to sort the mess and confusion in the brain. Therapy helps sort it, but also means you are more likely to be looking at and thinking about the memories, so, especially in the early days nightmares, flashbacks and bad dreams get worse before they get better.

I hope this makes sense? You are not possessed or mad. You simply have a very intelligent brain working hard. I am sure it will get better. I certainly feel the more I understand about the tricks my mind plays on me the easier it is to cope with it.

 

[Tina]

Thanks :)

 

[Kayley]

Hi Tina,

I just want you to know that I experience the exact same thing. I'm always bombarded by sexual thoughts I certainly did not invite or want to think. I've imagined family members, unattractive or scary strangers, and yes, even my own animals. I hate it, but when it happens it seems like it only gets more hatefully persistent. :(

 

[mellybelly]

These thoughts are what brought me to the forums. I can't have sexual fantasies unless they are abusive. And then my guilt over what turns me on makes me sick. Especially when i'd rather use my fantasies then enjoy my partner.