Cutting Out Triggers

[Bookoffee]

It seems this has turned into a thread about the news. Hmmm. Has anyone had success cutting out other kinds of triggers that they otherwise enjoyed or found useful? How did you do it? How did you fill the space?

After my wedding, I had to cut out my entire family on my mother's side. It was difficult. I have moved and out of the 8 sisters and 5 brothers I have, only one sister knows where I live. She is on my father's side.

I was triggered from walking around my block where I live because of bad childhood memories. My wife has expanded that walk for me and has shown me how much the city has grown over the years. She has shown me that beauty can grown, it is just hidden. I think that may be the same with the thread I read about Creativity and how some are having a hard time. I think the beauty is still within, it is just hidden and needs to be found.

FaceBook triggered me because I have one cousin on my mother's side and a lot of my brothers, sisters, nieces and nephew from my father's side (He has 10 kids), my old therapist was on there, it was very triggering for me. Once I found this place, I have not been back to FaceBook. I know this part is small, but it was my only connection to other people except my co-workers. It frightens me to meet others face to face.

A co-worker was triggering me because she is so full of anger and drama. She is loud and mean. It was giving me serve panic attacks. I finally had to write an e-mail to my boss and her boss that something needs to be done in the office due to her behaviors. I have serve panic attacks after sending it. I carried my mace and knife into work with me incase she became a threat because I wrote the e-mail. Things are starting to calm down.

I am sure I have more but those are my top 4. I hope you find at least one helpful.

 

[Hashi]

Has anyone had success cutting out other kinds of triggers that they otherwise enjoyed or found useful? How did you do it? How did you fill the space?

With healing. Sorry if that isn't the right thing to say, but I don't know what else our time is for if we have PTSD symptoms. Journalling, self-care, distraction, creativity, exercise, visualisation, working on skills... I'm wondering how much spare time does that leave, really?

Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills (especially Pleasurable Activities) are good for filling any space with things that help build a more positive life. You can tailor them to you and your interests/mindset, so while the explanation might give examples that other people would like, such as imagining the details of their future wedding or watching children play, those weren't for me but I could happily ignore them and pick things that were relevant.

I've got to be honest and say I'm bemused by the idea of seeing "triggers" as enjoyable or useful. They may have been enjoyable or useful in the past but can they be called that now if they are triggers? Doesn't the trigger aspect cancel them out? What's enjoyable or useful in the present is - to me, by definition - things that don't trigger me.

 

[Dana1010]

Doesn't the trigger aspect cancel them out?

Well, put it this way, suppose you're a surgeon and your trauma involves sharp instruments so you're triggered by scalpels and such. Obviously avoidance isn't an option - or you're going to have to find a new livelihood.

 

[ghotiff]

One of the advantages (I use that word with great trepidation) of abuse from childhood, is that I haven't lost the ability to do things I previously enjoyed. I have never been able to watch the news (and a million of other things).

 

[Hashi]

Not understanding the surgeon analogy. I didn't think this was your livelihood.

Even if it was, why wouldn't you find a new livelihood? At least for a while. I've had to change what I did for a living, for a while. And I've had to change "who I am" (sociable, active, avid reader, good friend, film-lover etc), at least for a while.

I seriously don't get your attachment to this. Or... I'm not sure, feeling of entitlement? I have to be honest and say that's what it seems like to me. Don't we have to turn our lives upside down when working on healing anyway? Why should we expect no interruptions, compromises or inconvenience?

You've presented it as something you like to do. If you like to do it more than you want to heal, that's fair enough. It's up to you.

 

[Dana1010]

@Hashi, I'm not a surgeon. But I have to deal with people in my profession and I'm agoraphobic. I can't think of any jobs I'm qualified for where I don't have to deal with people - if anyone can think of any, please post them.:)