Wanting To Feel Loved

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Lately all I want is for someone to hug me and tell me everything will be alright. I want someone to love me. The me I am right now- the one that is broken and scared. The one that tries to overcome the fear and anxiety but constantly loses that battle. The one that needs to know that it doesn't matter if I failed today, I can still be loved.

It's kind of strange because I have a loving husband, supportive parents, and a fabulous best friend. But I still crave this person to just wrap me in their arms and tell me that I am loved no matter what. It seems so silly, but I can't get it out of my head. And then I get really sad because I don't believe that anyone could ever love me- not the me I was before or the me I hope to be, but the me I am. Anyone else ever feel that way?

 

[Hope4Now]

Yes. All the time. It's an awful longing filled with fear that it will never happen and hope that it might.

 

[seedling]

Yes, I know this feeling.

Sometimes, for me, it is like a longing that someone can see the me underneath it all and reach me on that level.

Maybe it's a feeling that the people who love me don't know the me down deep (do I keep them at a distance?) so their love
doesn't reach that part of me.

 

[littlelostchild]

I too understand the longing, but think I fear that I might one day receive the unconditional love of which you speak. I think deep down I don't believe I deserve it. I am glad for you that you can honour this longing in your heart.

Know that you are worthy of the love, especially because of the battles you wage.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Sometimes, for me, it is like a longing that someone can see the me underneath it all and reach me on that level.

I think that might be a part of it.

 

[RussH]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve this is a constant feeling. there are so many times I want to be held like that, to feel safe and secure.
When you say you want to be loved for the person you are, do you also mean to be accepted for the person you are?

My one regret with making friends online like this is, we cannot have that human touch. We don't get that face to face acceptance we so need. But even with those limitations, I want you to know the person I have met here online, the person I am honored to call a friend, is the person you are today, and I accept you as my friend just the way you are.

 

[Chava]

I can relate to that. Wanting to feel totally safe and loved and okay. But I simultaneously wish I could feel loved and am completely scared of being close to anyone. And if someone would hug me, I wouldn't feel it. So lots of times I feel a sort of hopelessness too.

 

[Left Behind Spouse]

Hmmmmnnn.... I told my husband that sporadically during our separation, that I'd always be that person and he still pursued an affair and a divorce.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

And if someone would hug me, I wouldn't feel it.

And I think that I fear that as well. I mean I do get hugs from my husband, but it's not what I crave. His love is wonderful and I love him, but that is a different kind of love. And if it were to come, I am not sure I would recognize it or believe it. But it's what I long for right now.

 

[RussH]

The kind of love you are seeking is the kind of love God gives us. That us includes you as well.

 

[Recovery4Me]

@RussH Bold offer.:hug:

@JEKBreatheandBelieve Sometimes, the love & acceptance we seek is what we have denied ourselves. If we are always trying to "get better" in our heads and hearts, when do we see ourselves as enough in the moment? When is the last time that you told you...that you were more than enough, to love and be loved, no matter what? Self acceptance is a huge step in inner peace.:hug:

 

[Chava]

The self-acceptance thing makes sense to me, @Recovery4Me (that's not saying I'm any good at it though!). When I'm not doing well with that, I am more desperate for acceptance to come from outside myself. It's hard because I was so chronically invalidated, so I lack self-acceptance and don't accept acceptance from others easily (:eek:?). But I certainly have greater peace when I am feeling some level of compassion and acceptance towards myself.