Should I Do Emdr?

[kagamine]

It's been recommended to me multiple times, but I haven't tried it mostly because I didn't want to vividly recall my traumas in front of a therapist and I thought there were too many of them.

I had a sense it would be too much for me. But now my flashbacks are getting really bad again, I'm starting to remember more too. I don't know if that means I should take a step back or a step forward. Where I see my t they offer emdr, but I'd need to do it with someone trained in it and I'm not sure if that person would take over for a while or if I'd do it with them and my current therapist.

I'm coping with them better than I have in the past but I don't want to fall apart again, I can't afford to completely lose it again. I don't want to lose the progress I've made.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

My personal experience of EMDR was deep and scary,after a couple of more sessions it really worked wonders for my childhood traumas.

However that said, I would be advise you to understand and fully consider whether you feel EMDR will be positive, and you IMHO will need to fully trust your T and have learnt effective grounding techniques for between sessions.

I have numerous I could PM you wished me to.

Kind regards

Laurie

 

[Jane.l]

It usually comes down to how stable you are and whether your grounding skills are effective .

 

[Friday]

I've told my counselor that I have no problem going for a walk in the woods with him (what EMDR is based off of, the inventor was originally curious as to why their patients that they walked through the woods had clinically so much better/faster/longer lasting results than those in office) but that I'm not comfortable mucking about with my brain beyond that. ((In part, he's also not a trauma specialist. So there's that.)) For myself, it's a dual thing. I need to trust the modality, and I need to trust the practitioner. I can be scared of the modality, but still do it, as long as I trust it. In this case, since I don't really trust either (I trust him in a non-trauma way), it's not gonna happen.

 

[desiderata310]

IF you do it, you need to trust your therapist. He needs to have established good communication, good grounding skills, and a great deal of trust.

The whole idea of EMDR SOUNDS like a bunch of crap but the truth is that it does do something. Do your homework on it. Talk to a therapist and work with them. Make sure your therapist is a trauma therapist and has been through both courses and that you aren't his/her new guinea pig. What works for one person doesn't work for all. I've ventured into it several times with this therapist and we've had to back out because I WASN'T in a good place. I flashback far too easily.

We've been doing talk therapy again for about 2 months.

Can it work? I've heard it can but it can be extremely difficult.

 

[Lucycat]

I haven't tried it mostly because I didn't want to vividly recall my traumas in front of a therapist

Who better to visit the horrors than with somebody who is understanding and prepared because they have seen it all before?

I thought there were too many of them.

I had hundreds of memories. I decided that I wanted to group them together so we targeted a group of similar memories. It was extremely effective that way, and meant it quickened the process.

but I'd need to do it with someone trained in it and I'm not sure if that person would take over for a while or if I'd do it with them and my current therapist

You need to ask your therapist about this. My T is also trained in EMDR, so when he suggested it, it was also he that did it.

I need to trust the modality,

My T lent me all his text books about EMDR for me to read before I made a decision to proceed with this therapy.

I need to trust the practitioner.

I was such a mess that I was desperate for help. I did learn to trust my T but at the very beginning I just went along with it, because I was completely out of options. I truly thought I had gone crazy!

The whole idea of EMDR SOUNDS like a bunch of crap but the truth is that it does do something.

Yes, I second that. I know if I am telling people about it I tend to say that I appreciate it sounds like hocus-pocus - but I know that it works.

Do your homework on it

Could not agree more. That does not just mean people's opinions here on the forum, of which you will find a variety of experiences negative and positive. You need to find out if the therapist is experienced, has supervision ( to get advice if things go less well), understands the nature of your specific trauma and if you are ready for the time and effort this takes. I have seen many folk on here deciding to do EMDR and then getting frustrated by the process. It is usually a very slow start, and guided by the therapist determining your readiness to start. You cannot skimp on the preparation and ensuring grounding techniques are perfected.

I cannot recommend it highly enough. It has been very effective for me.

 

[Jane.l]

The main problem I had with it was dissociating too much - that and being too unstable between sessions.

I think it's a good idea not to just leap on in there and start on trauma but to target maybe anxiety and ease into the tricky stuff - totally agree with the others you need to really be able to trust your T. We did a session on using EMDR to try and strengthen my grounding skills and I think it may have helped if we had carried on with it but something else came up and we haven't got back to it yet.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I was so terrified of doing EMDR. But I did it and it changed my life for the better mostly because I was ready for it.

Before I did it I was tortured and tormented by my traumatic memories. I was always thinking about them as the memories were so intrusive.

My therapist was trained to do it and now I see myself in a new and a better way. I was able to pass back onto my abusers all of the crap I had been carrying, the blame, self loathing, shame, and self loathing.

It was the best choice I made to do it.

Do you feel like you are sick and tired of the intrusive memories? Are you ready to explore this kind of therapy, are you strong enough?

 

[kagamine]

@gizmo I don't really know if I'm strong enough. I do know that I'm tired. I'm tired of carrying this all around and checking out to get a break. I'd like to live my life instead of being stuck in the past, but I don't think I'll get past it completely, that sounds pretty impossible.

I know in my case it will take a while.

@Lucycat I know my therapist probably is the best person for me to process these memories with, but I felt like she needed to earn my trust. I've had other therapists go in guns blazing and not follow through. I've learned to be wary of those in the helping professions, because while they often have the best of intentions sometimes they can make things worse if they aren't trauma specialized and go around opening pandora's box without understanding what it is they're getting into.

My therapist is better than the ones I've had before, but the trust is still shaky and I'm not sure how I feel about getting another person to try opening up with.

Part of my doubt is that I don't clearly remember everything that's happened to me, some memories are vivid and some are just blank pages. I don't know if I need to be past that to do emdr. I guess I should research that :P


I dissociate a lot too, I've been learning to be present and ground myself in therapy, but as of right now my threshold of tolerance has been exceeded and I've been dissociating more to cope. I could prepare a bit more first.

I'm going to talk to my t about this on wed and see what she thinks

 

[PollyScotland]

and you IMHO will need to fully trust your T and have learnt effective grounding techniques for between sessions.

I have numerous I could PM you wished me to.

Kind regards

Laurie

@Santa_Laurie hello, would you mind PM me some of your grounding techniques too please? I am about to start EMDR with my T of 18 months - he knows me well. I had our first session last week but could not establish the safe place. T suggested we may have to look at alternatives to the safe place.