Self Esteem

[Deleted member 27340]

I feel so bad in my own body that it's driving me even more crazy. I can't stand it. Currently I'm 175 cm (5''7) and 70 kg (154lbs). I feel like an elephant-wide giraffe. Even with a poor attitude I'm taller than most girls, and I just feel so ugly and tall and fat and disgusting.

It feels like I'm going to throw up from looking in the mirror, and no matter what I do I can't change how I see myself. I know that I've got a lot of muscle weight and that people tend to think I'm about 55 kg (121lbs) because I carry most the weigh in muscle, but I still look fat and my stomach isn't flat at all and because I lost so much weigh a couple years ago I've got excess skin. I'm FOURTEEN years old and I've got excess skin. It's so embarrassing I don't have words to describe it.

I've tried to change my diet, but my dad makes it impossible. I want to take up climbing and martial arts again, because that I like and just running and training strength is boring and therefore harder to find motivation to do. I LIKE climbing and martial arts, as well as swimming (but there's no way I'll wear a swimsuit anywhere near other people), and they all train your whole body. Climbing is heavy strength training and increase stamina and martial arts does the same plus peace of mind and concentration. But guess what? I depend on my dad to go climbing, and I depend on my dad to start training martial arts again. So fun.


I don't really ask for advice, I just felt like venting. Until I move out there's not much I can do because my dad is in the way of everything, so I better just accept that I'll be stuck unless motivation to run without meaning and to the same movement 400 times in boredom suddenly appear.

 

[Jane.l]

From your details you sound like you are in the healthy weight range unless I have messed up my calculations ?

But exercise and eating healthily are really going to help with your self esteem . Is there anyway your dad would help you out here? Maybe if you offered to cook ? Just a thought I know you were only venting and that's fine.

 

[Go Hungry]

Ermm.. Don't really know what to say, except that you should keep in mind that 14 is still very young. Your body will continue to change for probably another decade at least, so you may end up looking quite different than you do now. Also there are ways to tighten excess skin over time. Don't lose hope, is what I'm saying. :)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Yep you're in a healthy weight range. Of course you feel huge now, but later in life you may kill to be that size again. I know I would....

 

[risingsun]

I feel so bad in my own body that it's driving me even more crazy.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. Remember, it is not our bodies that makes us beautiful, it is who we are. Beauty is how we treat other people. Beauty is who we are in this world and what we bring to each and every day. I know so many thin people or model-type people who are so mean, that you really cannot even see the beauty they are displaying on the outside. Their inside meanness is their most prominent feature and it shows. Your heart is all that matters. Let the beauty shine forth and don't compare yourself to other people. Just do the best you can everyday. That is the definition of beautiful. Rising Sun.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Hey, glad you vented!!! It feels good to get out stuff, yes?

I think your post shows you are in the Womanhood Zone now and we have a mean habit of picking ourselves to pieces when 'other' things are getting to us, or when we are about to date, or when we need to dress up to go somewhere or just because we can!:hug:

I remember looking in my closet and just bawling several times because all of a sudden everything seemed ugly + I just know (lol) someone had to shrink all my clothes (not because I was bloated and couldn't get in them)! I changed my hair color like the weather during those times lol! Now, I have learned purple or blue is too hard to cover.:clown:

Hope you smiled a little...welcome to the Zone.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

Thank you people...

Yeah, you made me laugh, @Recovery4Me