I Am About Done Here

[Acele]

I cannot expect others to behave as I do.

People drive into my lane, threatening my life.

People basically steal from my boss and when caught blame those around them that do not join in the theft (me).

People expect me to provide for them with no feelings of gratitude or even a weak attempt at providing for my needs.

My counselor laughingly suggested I live off the grid today.

No need for cars, no threat from driving with idiots. No job? No intolerable co workers. And no providing for others without gratitude either. I am a big boy, I can fry my own egg in the morning and run the dishwasher too.

Maybe not off the grid, but not stuck in this thankless rut.

Maybe I am afraid that no matter what I do, it will be dependent on some asshole and I will hate it as much as i do what I already have.

maybe the only way to end this anger and frustration without risking worse elsewhere is to be sure that after this there is no more. The true "off the grid".

this is bad, not going to get better, could get worse if I risk it. hope equals disappointment, so far. Every time.

 

[Ojic]

I don't know about other people, but for me Hope is a 4-letter word. The happiness I get isn't in anticipation of something good happening, but in the moment. When I'm doing well I set myself up for as many happy moments as possible, but I don't depend on them. I may have a trapeze in my living room, or a ski-lift or swimming pool out my back door, but if I'm not using them? Or, worse, if those aren't fun things for me (they are, but just for the point) then they're not useful.

Living off the grid is a way many people set themselves up for happy moments. Be it self sufficiency, or living aboard, intentionally homeless, or 3rd world. Others move to the country or city. Get travel jobs, or move to remote areas & telecommute never leaving a small area. There are tons of radically different ways to live life that are successful for different populations of people.

Sure. Wherever you go, there you are. But there's no one right way to live life. Knowing what you don't like about this one gives you a lot of tools to be able to create a life you would like to live.

Personally I tend to over correct. What I have now isn't working. So I go to the opposite. That doesn't work either. But it gives me more data. Okay. What I want Is about 20% from old life & 60% from new life. What kind of picture is that? Self correcting courses.

 

[Vicin]

Is anyone supporting you right now?

I know that when I feel similarly it's because there isn't anyone helping me. Seek out some help--maybe another therapist who doesn't throw out 'living off the grid' as a solution for you even if said only in jest. The key is to learn to manage what we feel so that we can participate in the world on some level that is comfortable to us.

I share, what you talk about...being scapegoated at work, dangerous people on the expressways, etc. We've learned the world is not a safe place and that's how we filter just about everything around us. There is a "cleaner" way to view the world once we start to know our inherent value and meaning.

Hope is a GOOD thing as long as it is paired with deliberate intent and action! Focus on becoming on your idealized version of yourself!!!

 

[Hucigiz]

The above post is actually mine! Don't know why it shows as posted by Vicin!

 

[Vulipe]

Don't know why it shows as posted by Vicin!

Because this is an anonymous forum.