Today I had a small victory, it's nothing anyone would write home about but I just had to share it with people who actually get it. I was able to go out and take a walk around my block today - alone!
To put this in perspective, those of you who know my story, know that I usually allow the anxiety to beat me. My mind plays over the million different scenarios of calls I've attended to over the course of my career and I end up rooted in my place behind closed doors - safe. I'm not agoraphobic, I can be in "open spaces" and I'm not afraid to be outside, it's just that I don't ever go anywhere unless I've got someone with me or I have an assignment like groceries or something of that nature.
I hate living like that but I can never seem to overcome the images in my mind and the anxiety about my safety - it is extremely rare for me to challenge these cognitive distortions but today I had a victory! Yay for me!
To put this in perspective, those of you who know my story, know that I usually allow the anxiety to beat me. My mind plays over the million different scenarios of calls I've attended to over the course of my career and I end up rooted in my place behind closed doors - safe. I'm not agoraphobic, I can be in "open spaces" and I'm not afraid to be outside, it's just that I don't ever go anywhere unless I've got someone with me or I have an assignment like groceries or something of that nature.
I hate living like that but I can never seem to overcome the images in my mind and the anxiety about my safety - it is extremely rare for me to challenge these cognitive distortions but today I had a victory! Yay for me!
