Posers And Apologists

[StarChild]

@Ed Norton, could you please explain what you exactly by this statement of yours?

 

[Ed Norton]

The only thing that he could possibly receive here is support. I don't think that there's anything that could be said here that would solve his problems. We all have problems, unless there's a specific question then perhaps, social services can be of more help regarding his mother.

Regarding depression that's more within the scope of a therapist or psychiatrist. It seems that his threads didn't really have a specific question attached to them, but more of a vent. So other than understanding, I don't see what this forum can really do to help.

P.S. I meant to write "your" not "you're" in the above post

 

[Justmehere]

Sometimes "support" comes in the form of giving someone a space to vent. To be validated. To be disagreed with and challenged.

I don't think everyone here is always looking for solutions per se. I think this is especially true for some who are stuck in patterns of learned helplessness that can develop after trauma. You are right In a sense that that any advice doesn't really help when someone isn't in a place to take action on any advice. It doesn't mean he is beyond the forum though. Bill has a viewpoint that's just as welcome as anyone else.

It's not up to the forum to rescue or change him anyhow.

 

[Ed Norton]

I agree that his viewpoint is valid, but he thinks that those people who responded to his thread are posers and apologists. I don't know what he's really expecting from the forum.

 

[StarChild]

I don't know what he's really expecting from the forum.

Well, then I would say, ask Bill straight what he's expecting.

I think that you're difficulties are beyond the scope of this message board.

So other than understanding, I don't see what this forum can really do to help.

Because to me, these statement of yours, sound as if you would suggest (in a roundabout way), that he should leave this forum... Correct me if I'm wrong @Ed Norton.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Lets face it. Your avatar is SCARY AS SH!T. That might be ok elsewhere but here there are a lot of people who have fear issues.

That's the first thing that people see. It sets the tone for your threads. I'm not gonna give someone who looks mean anything other than sugar and spice! (If I say anything at all).

Maybe change it and people will view you as approachable and want to engage with you?

 

[Ed Norton]

Nope, not at all, I wasn't implying that he should leave the forum. The reason I spoke in third person is because I was responding to Justmehere.

@Bill Dickerson what's the problem? You are very vague to me, I don't understand what you're really looking for.

 

[Recovery4Me]

"Posers and apologist" ...seriously ? :roflmao:

Has the board seem to be suddenly filled with Members who answer posts with huge automated responses that seem to come from text books or Members who seem to have no experience with PTSD.

Nice one. :poop:
Dale Carnegie- On how to win friends and influence people has been around since 1936...it should be relatively cheap and useful for an opening that does not alienate.

It often feels like college students looking around for themes for their papers or areas to discuss in their philosophy class.

Not everyone is angry all the time, hence the social forum.

Then it seems I get more and more people who want to make me feel better by saying how sorry they are I'm sad. Some to think it's their lot in life to apologize for the world so I will feel better.

Some people have empathy. How you feel is up to you.

I am stuck but not by choice.

Bullharky! Try that line in therapy & see how much mileage it gets you.


:tup: Better ? ;)

 

[Bill Dickerson]

Lets face it. Your avatar is SCARY AS SH!T.

I like my Avatar. It's the Hulk. Google it. It's a comic book character. I think it reflects the anger that lingers in all of us. The scary part that we struggle to suppress just like Dr. Banner.

Please explain?

(Anthony) Costs have gotten to a point where my Mom will need to dip into her savings. It's a tipping point. The interest rates are favorable now and she can use the savings now to find something else. The longer she waits the more her savings falls limiting the options. If she acts now she find a place we can afford and then replenish the savings with sale of her current house.

My Mom isn't helpless. She drives and shops but she needs me more all the time. Her short term memory is getting worse. As far as dumping her in a facility G-d forbid that ever happens. Besides if I tried I might get shot. LOL

My Aunt called and talked to my Mom about a Single wide on four acres for 85,000. I pointed out to her I tried to get her to consider a single wide on 19 acres with a barn, a shop, a storm shelter, and an old homestead still standing a mile from her brother at the same price.

Now she says she might have to think about the 19 acre one. Aaarrrrggggg!!!!!! Makes my neck, arm, and chest hurt!!!!!!!!!!!

I talked to her today and my T said my Mom and I could come in both talk Monday. That has lowered my tension level some. Before I had an anxiety attack and got physically ill every time I tried talking to her. I'm still frustrated and confused.

I wasn't expecting so many responses. I think one half of the forum is pissed and the other half is insulted.

 

[Kefira]

I think one half of the forum is pissed and the other half is insulted.

Given that you're frustrated and lashing out, and that your general demeanor reads (at least to me) as fairly argumentative across the board are you surprised? I'd add to that a pretty large category on this board that will be too afraid to even try to contribute something to this discussion, since your attitude is such.

That said I see in this thread there are also a fair number who see you're hurting and are trying to contribute in a meaningful way as you have begun to define it for you. Probably apologists to you but possibly also posers. I wonder if you can see the good or at least the effort in any of the responses you're getting.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Uhm anyone who knows anything about pop culture knows who your avatar is. I never stated that it was you, rather it makes YOU seem scary b/c your avatar is a reflection of YOU, like it or not. [I think this was covered in internet 101, stop me if I'm wrong....]

Don't take my advice, I don't care. I'm just saying that you don't like how you're treated here on the forum and I'm giving you suggestions as to why that's happening. You dismiss my thoughts. Uhm, ok, go and keep your nasty looking avatar and expect people to give you what you want. Maybe you'll get the responses you want, and maybe you won't. But no more complaining that your avatar doesn't have anything to do with it because I am saying that it in fact DOES. No, I'm not speaking for anyone else, rather I'm saying that I haven't given you and feedback because that picture scares me and I know you use it b/c you have anger issues, too. So with that projection, why would anyone expect their advice to be taken graciously?

Another thing, do you live on the planet earth? [Serious question!] Anyone who has functioned in society for even FIVE minutes knows that appearances are VERY influential. So like I said, keep your nasty looking avatar. See how far that gets you....

Me thinks you just want to argue at this point and don't want real solutions, so why are you here?

Oh, and your answer to your other post? Get your ass out of bed, stop sleeping your life away, and DO SOMETHING. I can pretty much guarantee that your SSDI is a LOT larger than my SSDI because I didn't work that much and went on disability when I was in my 20's. Stop acting like you're a prisoner of your family and that you'll wither up and die without your mother's support. You're going to have to function somehow once she's gone, so why not PRACTICE that now? If she's draining away all of your financial resources and taking away your future, then its time for your bitchy sister to step up to the g'damn plate and help take care of her. There are always other options but you just want to cry when your mommy doesn't do what you want her to do. Please. [Was this the bluntness you were looking for?]

 

[anthony]

I wasn't expecting so many responses. I think one half of the forum is pissed and the other half is insulted.

Argh... take what you want, leave the rest, is my moto.

The appointment sounds great, and hopefully it helps her makeup her mind pronto, and hopefully the therapist can help her understand the urgency based on what you've said. If not... what are your other options? Can you use her failing health to obtain proxy over her finances and make such decisions for her, before it is too late?